Thanks for replies xxx
@Woo2 glad I'm not only non juggler, good news about your mums DC hopefully mums will be thinking of reopening soon and she'll agree to go. It does sound quite complicated arrangements but as you say good to get a rest and I think a big benefit to our mums when they go. Going to try ring mums DC before go over on Monday. And you definitely have been good enough to warrant time off X
Mum has rung 3 times within an hour of us leaving her house tonight and apparently also rung her brother too. The first call was because she thought she hadn't seen me and wanted to know if I'd go see her sometime and the other two and I think the one to her brother were to tell us my dad is dead and she's living there now. Poor mum bless her. And selfishly poor me and hubby too as hubby and I could have really done with a quiet night to try relax a bit tonight.
It must be awful for mum though because she hasn't got a clue what has happened or when in her life and is obviously mixed up and unsettled and it doesn't matter how many times I tell her she does retain any of it she just carries on feeling confused. As the day has wore on today mums questions have got more frequent and lasted longer like they do most days. All the usual ones about needing to go in to council, her other house, is this, that and the other in other house, she's not paying rent, where's W(my dad) is he dead, why did he die, what happened to their house, I thought I'd only been here few weeks, we got back together didn't we, where's our andrea, is she married, who to, where does she live, she used to live with me, you're not her, wheres - (my sister) she doesn't come to see me or ring me now, I think I'll go to my other house tomorrow and get my stuff, where's my--,- where's my ---,on and off all day.
As I left about 7 tonight she asked if I was going tomorrow and I said yes, as she waved us off I was calling her mum and said see you in morning. At 7.09 my mobile rings. It's Mum saying Hello Andrea it's mum. I asked Hello, What's a matter? A grumpy mum said What do you mean what's the matter I want to talk to you! I said Oh ok I thought something might be wrong cos we only just left. Mum didn't know we'd just left, thought 'friend' and her hubby had been, she said sorry and I told her it didn't matter and asked if she was ok. Mum said yes she'd just wanted to talk to me cos thought not seen me and then she moved on to questions and for next 10 minutes we went round in circles, asking if I knew dad was dead, did our andrea know, she thought only lived there few weeks, did she have to tell council, or pay rent, who had been today, had hubby been, what had we eaten etc etc. I kept telling her not to worry about it everything was sorted but she said it didn't feel sorted to her. I told her I know it doesn't feel like it to her, I know its hard but try not to worry because it is. I said her brain mixes memories up when it gets tired sometimes, try not to think about things too much if you can and it will come back to you tomorrow. But it didn't settle mum, round and round we went and I must admit I was a bit short at times. We were in car and I could see hubby tensing up listening to me and mum and I know he is getting frustrated with things at mo and so am I and I felt bad for hubby he had listen and I couldn't leave room as in car and also felt bad cos I'd been bit short with mumwhen i answered her a few times . We ended call with me telling her again I'd be there in the morning and saying night love you lots. She still sounded confused when hung up.
She rang my mobile again at 7.56 and said who she was and that she'd just been talking to Uncle - ( her brother). I said Oh have you did you ring him. Mum said she was talking to him, then she said did you know your dads dead and I've come to live here now. I said yes I know mum it's been a long time. She said Oh is it, Our - (brother) said he knew about W dying when I was talking to him. I asked her Is that why you rung him to tell him about dad? Mum said I was talking to him and he said he knew. He's with ....er whats her name? I told her my Uncles wifes name and mum said Oh yes _ and they've got a son now. I said yes they have -. Mum told me bit more bout him and then said Our - knew W was dead so I thought I better tell you. I said It's ok mum I know. Then mum started asking if there was still stuff in the house and should she get it and so then we had 5 minutes about if she'd lived with dad and where he'd lived and where she had. She told me she thought someone else had told her that today. I said I did mum. Mum said No it was 'friend' who is my 'friend' who comes? It's me mum. Oh I thought it was a friend, so have you been today, and hubby and did we have.. for dinner? Yes. Oh sorry, I get mixed up. I told her again try not to worry about it mum, she asked again if would see my sometime and I told her I'd see her tomorrow.
A minute after we hung up the house phone went, Its me I just wanted to tell you you're dad's dead and I'm living here now. I said I know mum. Did you, how did you know? I told her I'd known a long time and then mum told me she'd just been talking to her brother and he said he knew about it and she'd thought she better ring me and tell me. I probably shouldn't but I told her She'd rung me just a minute ago and just talked about same thing. Mum was surprised and said Did I oh sorry love. I told her to try to relax, try not to keep thinking about things and watch tv or something. I said she'd nothing to worry, about we know where she is and about dad and I know it's confusing but she's in right place and everything is fine and she'd remember it all tomorrow and I'd see her tomorrow morning. Mum said Ok love sorry. I said Vera was on why didn't she try watching that cos she liked that and mum said It is I will. We said see you tomorrow and bye etc and she hung up. Poor mum I do feel sorry for her, it's cruel that her brain won't give her a rest.
This morning had set off quite well, I'd rung her at 1/4 to 9 to tell her we were going to Drs for BP taking today and we'd be over about half 9 ish and set off about 1/4 to ten. She didn't say not going, just said she wasn't dressed yet and I told her no rush we weren't going for an hour so had plenty of time to get showered and dressed and she asked a bit about why going and when and where DRs was but that was it. When we arrived at hers she tried going loo a couple of times like she usually does when going out and asked a few times why going and where it was and if still Dr K, old DR who retired years ago. But not once did she say wasn't going or get annoyed. I just kept saying only for BP and wouldn't be there long. She put her mask on fine when we got there and didn't get annoyed when I told her not to touch it a couple of times while we waited. I couldn't go in room as nurse said too small to socially distance was that ok, I said as long as you don;t have to ask her any questions as she might not give right answers and nurse said it's just a blood pressure test so won't need to I'll come and get you if need you so I said ok. Later this afternoon mum said she'd still got her tape on and when looked she'd cotton wool taped on inside her arm so looks like took a blood test too. I asked mum if took blood and she said yes, She'd put thing on one arm and then stuck needle in other, I asked mum if nurse said anything or asked her anything and mum said Not really, she said I might get something, I think a letter, but I think she might have said I might not get one, I couldn't tell what she was saying cos she was quiet (that's mums go to reason when doesn't understand or remember what said) I assume checking blood to see if deficient in anything like did when went last year and will let us know if have to go back.
Hubby dropped us off from Drs at mums and went to pick up click and collect then brought it back to ours and we took mums out. Mum thought it was saturday cos we'd got shopping and so kept saying I could go home with hubby if wanted then said she'd get our Andrea to come. I reminded her it was friday and I was our Andrea and was going to stay here with her. Hubby stayed for a cup of tea while I wiped and put away mums shopping and then went home to sort our shopping and go back to work, mum thought as doesn't know hubby is off this week as she'd wonder why I wasn't with him.
All day on and off since we got back from DRs this morning she has been asking questions. She hasn't been upset or angry, just confused. The questions are more spread out earlier in day and each spell of questions doesn't last that long so we did manage to chat bit bout other stuff and watch a bit of tele and colour a bit till about 4 when the questions got closer together and last longer and she couldn't really concentrate much so most of time was spent on questions and we didn't do much else.