Thanks
@Bikerbeth @Juggling mum x x
I don't know how mum remembered yesterday bless her. She didn't mention it at all today when I was there and neither did I. Not a bad day at mums today, I was 'friend' almost from start today. She hadn't washed her hair cos she'd forgot but she let me straighten it again and when regular carer came this afternoon she noticed it and told mum it looked good and mum said she liked it.
Mum rang at 1/4 to 9 tonight asking what her phone number was as she didn't want him (my dad) to use it. I told her it was just her number in her name for her house. Mum said she was thinking of going back home, to her other house. I tried gently to say she was home and we talked about where dad was and if she'd left her stuff at other house or had it there and what had happened to her old stuff where she'd lived etc. She was surprised as she usually is that she lived on her own and had done for some time. She said I'm on my own now cos everybody else has gone, the people who were here have all gone. Not sure who she meant, maybe me and hubby and carer. We talked about me being there which she didn't know but she remembered carer had been. She was confused but ok by time we'd been on 15 minutes and I told her I'd see her tomorrow before we hung up.
She rang again 5 minutes later, she said have I just rung you and I said yes and she said Oh sorry love, I just realised I missed your birthday. I said No you didn't mum you gave me card yesterday, she'd forgot she had but was glad she had, then she was asking if she'd gave me some birthday money and was sorry she'd forgot. I told her not to worry I had a card and that was lovely. She did ask hubby to draw some money out for her yesterday to give our Andrea some birthday money and some for her but she didn't remember what it was for when he brought it at dinnertime and just put it in her purse but I wasn't bothered anyway. We weren't on long that call just a few minutes.
MC rang this lunchtime while I was mums but I missed call so I rang her at office after I got home a bit after 3. They said she was working from home so they took message to ring me. I had to wait for her to ring me back so didn't get to do anything really. She rang me just after half four and I rambled on about how things had been since last spoke bout a fortnight ago, I don't think she'd have expected me to go on so long. Was quite embarrassed when I saw how long been on when I hung up.
I told her how mum was bit calmer and think sleeping bit better this week but really confused and not retaining what tell her for more than few minutes. Told her about times mum called on night and times she didn't want us there on weekend. About her thinking she'd seen dad in house, worrying he'd come take stuff so she didn't want to come out on sunday. Worrying about rent and her other house etc and about ringing last night thinking it was her mums house which had worried me.
MC asked if we'd thought of increasing care package so I told her carer going to come on weekends to do tablets in morning so hopefully mum will be more in mood to see us later on when we go. She mentioned day care, day centre manager rang today which I also missed and she left message saying could I ring back to talk about their thinking of how to open day care in future so I told her I'd probably ring DC back tomorrow or Monday. And we mentioned respite which I told her I wondered if it might help get her out of loop of where lived etc but was worried that if mum went in for respite she might get used to someone being with her all time and then struggle more when came home to be on own and that we were not really wanting to do it during virus and no visiting as she already thinks I've abandoned her a lot of time but least she thinks sees friend but if no visiting would probably feel more abandoned. She said we'd have to weigh up if think would be worth it, she did say mum might struggle more when come out but she didn't want me struggling on if needed a break. I told her bout sis this week so she suggested maybe seeing if sis could come and give us few days sometime soon when felt safe.
She said if mum does start to wonder then that would be worry, we talked about door sensor and she said if mum did go out I would know. Also if did then they'd want to know and we'd have to let SS know too. I told her I think mum is bit scared to be on own now and didn't believe she did live alone and I thought she was wanting someone with her but I had stayed before and didn't think I could do it again and felt bad but SS said couldn't provide night time help so we're bit stuck at mo. She was very sympathetic and said It's mainly about offering reassurance but it's hard as even when not there I'd be constantly worrying which I said I was, always have phone by my side just in case rings but there doesn't really seem much else can do. She said there isn't really a lot can do medically, there's nothing to reverse disease and stop mums confusion. Sertraline should help with her anxiety and anger and to feel happier but can't stop her forgetting or being confused. She said she'll ring again next week, give sertraline bit longer and see how go and she'll feed back to dr and to ring if needed to in mean time.
It's not been best day, waiting for and talking to MC took up most afternoon, then I made dinner which didn't enjoy, the salmon was bit dry and I wasn't in mood for it by time sat down so left quite a bit. I didn't really want to bother with my birthday this year but hubby kept saying he wanted me to have nice birthday even if just for bit of the day. But he's been feeling stressed and having indigestion type pains and tummy pains since last week, they started when he was getting bit worked up over when and how long sis was coming for and she wasn't being very forthcoming and he keeps getting them, he's scared of illness so having them is worrying him which in turn makes him have more of them. He doesn't deal with stress very well bless him and things at moment are not good cos of worrying over mum and I'm not giving him much attention bless him so he's been feeling bit off it. Today he's had a face like a wet weekend all day when I've been with him. Despite saying yesterday we'd have to make effort to be up a bit earlier so I could open presents before going to mums he stayed in bed quite a while after me and only brought presents down after breakfast when I opened some cards that came in post.
He insisted we ordered a cake with this weeks shopping but as we were doing online food shop on friday among talking to sis and he was getting annoyed over it he left me to pick it and add it to order and then never even mentioned it today when we got back from mums and were having cup of tea before I rang MC, we often have something with cuppa but he didn't mention it and I didn't think of it till later so it's still in cupboard. As soon as we got in he went back on his laptop that he'd been on while I'd been out. He sat quiet through dinner and I asked if he wasn't feeling well and he said he'd not been feeling bad today, he was just tired. I was a bit fed up and disappointed that he'd said before he wanted me to have nice birthday but looked so miserable and quiet today even though he wasn't feeling uncomfy and indigestiony so I did say so. He said sorry he'd not been in mood and he'd gone on laptop when got in cos thought I'd be on phone a lot so busy anyway and he'd thought we might have cake after dinner but then he hasn't mentioned it all evening either.
I felt guilty after I'd moaned at him because I know he is finding it hard and is quite down lately and I don't give him as much attention as mum nowadays and that's not nice for him and he does do a lot and put up with a lot for me so I shouldn't moan really. I didn't really care about my birthday anyway, I told him not to bother when he'd started talking about it weeks ago so I felt bad. We've not said a lot this evening hubby was still quiet, he asked few times after dinner if I wanted cup of tea and asked what I wanted watch on tv but I wasn't bothered. I did say I was sorry for moaning and sorry didn't give him much attention now and sorry that he had to put up with so much and he said he understood why. I went up stairs to sort washing after tidied dinner away and ended up lying on bed for a bit as I was fed up too then, but I got up after mum rang me at 1/4 to 9 and came back downstairs and watched bit of tele with hubby though we were still quiet, neither of us were in chatty mood. So apart from opening cards and a few presents it's not felt like a birthday but it's just another day really so it doesn't matter.