Fingers crossed Mum is settled tonight
@annielou ...
Do you think sis could call round some local homes, ask if they are taking people (for respite or permanent), ask about top up fees, ask about their dementia support, make notes on them all and look up their ratings online, then you can decide together which ones you'd be happiest with, say a list of 3-5, and send to SW? Explain how mum is (on her worst day, no sugar coating) and that she's not on any day understanding that she's home and could soon be a flight risk? From what you've said before, it sounds like something sis could perhaps take on, especially seeing as you're doing so much already.
As you may or may not recall my dad had respite at and then was moved permanently to his home and I wasn't able to visit it beforehand, but I knew that if it didn't work out we'd have to move him. I definitely agree this is best, if you can, but don't let this concept get in the way of getting mum the help she needs.
I imagine that for all our PWD, there is always the risk that eventually they will have to be moved anyway, to a more secure place, for example. Obviously we hope not but I try to be open minded about it. Dad thinks he's staying there 'on a course' or 'for a while' most of the time anyway, and how long he'd been there varies from 'a couple of days' to 'ten years' - time is extremely fluid to him, and I never argue with him, I let the staff distract him.
Hope you're able to enjoy a glass of wine or something you enjoy tonight, I'm looking out the window at some miserable weather so will be declaring it gin o'clock very shortly I think!