No
@Pete1 we've not got lpa unfortunately. Mum said before that they're a good idea but isn't having one. She recently said she wanted me and sis to decide things and deal with things if she couldn't rather than SS so she said she would have one, but we can't apply online as no one to sign or witness that mum agrees and understands. We had thought of going trough solicitor a while ago but due to lockdown not sure if still can and don't know if possible that way and what procedure would be and if they'd think mum knew what she was agreeing to and doing.
Thanks
@Sarasa @Woo2 @Bikerbeth xxx Not really been a good day, especially at end, but thanks for asking and hoping it was x Hubby taking us tomorrow and waiting in car park for us. Thank you for fingers crossed x Mine are too X I hope your days have been ok xxxx
Yesterday was a slightly better, but still hard day as although mum was confused all day and from bout half 2 she was talking about going home to ring her brother, or me to see about her mum and sorting house etc she was calmer about it til just before 5. Then mum was adamant that it had just happened recently and she needed go home and I wasn't me. She got up to try leave and was quite upset and we couldn't calm her down so I ended up showing her nannans death certificate and piece she cut out from death notices in local paper at time nannan died to show her that it was long time ago and she had known about it. I kept telling her I wasn't trying upset her just wanted her not to rush off and then be upset at home. She agreed then and stayed for tea and settled for hour or so but before she went home later she was confused about dad and houses lived in etc again but she only rang me once last night and just said she wanted to check we'd got home ok and then said night and see you tomorrow and sounded ok.
Today had been bit calmer too although mum was really confused again. She was quite on edge with me this morning when got there but didn't say why. I did manage to clean bathroom without her getting angry though it was close at times. Most of day I was 'friend' and I wasn't me, she was sure I wasn't me and was quite annoyed early afternoon as she thought I was texting our Andrea on my phone and just couldn't get her head round fact I was me. I went back to being me just before dinner and think I stayed me.
She rang not long after I got in to ask if her mum had been today she said she was confused cos she thought she was dead. Said she was thinking I'd been but for minute thought her mum had but that wasn't right was it and couldn't stop thinking bout it so rang to ask. Then she asked if friend had been, which she had thought she had been when I was there. She went off ok after couple of minutes.
My sister text me bout 1/4 to 9 to say mum might ring as she had just rung her. Mum rang me just as sis texted. Mum was really upset, she had been asking sis if dad was really dead and asking questions about it. Sis had talked to her bout him and her mum and then she'd tried to talk to her bout other things to distract her but it hadn't worked.
Mum was sobbing when she rang me and asking same things she'd asked sis, she told me she'd been talking to sis. Mum was upset and said she was all alone, her mum was gone and so was my dad and she was sitting on her own thinking whats the point. She said she knew I went a lot but it felt inside like she was on own and had no one . She was confused bout houses, dates of dad and her mum dying and was so upset. I tried reassure her she had me and hubby and sis and I'd be there tomorrow. She said she knew she did but it felt like she was on own. Maybe cos there was nothing on tele tonight she had started thinking about W(my dad) and then that he was gone and her mum was too and she felt like had nobody. She said she was sorry for ringing and would go but I didn't like her going off upset. I tried talking to her bit longer but she was still upset and asking things she was confused about like dad and woman he'd lived with and mum said she was annoyed cos he'd found someone else and she hadn't even though woman dad was with wasn't nice. She was bit confused when mum died and a bit about her house and then asked about dads mum and dad and his sister being dead too.
She was upset she was on her own and was upset cos she was confused and couldn't remember things had happened. I told her that her brain gets tired as day goes on and it confuses her. She said she'd been having a quite nice day today and then tonight started thinking bout dad and wondering where he was and got upset cos now on her own and feels lost. I tried to answer her without upsetting her further and kept telling her she had us and I would be there tomorrow, but I really didn't know what to say to make her feel better. She stopped crying before she hung up but sounded like she was just holding it back. I feel so bad for her.
I feel like I should have gone over to be with her, but sometimes when I'm there I confuse things more if she doesn't know who I am and I am scared if I go she won't ever want me to leave and I don't want to go back to staying there. I feel so guilty about that like I'm putting myself first when she's so upset.
I've spent most of the evening texting my sister about why mum rang and how she's been lately. Also talking about contacting memory team tomorrow as I didn't get chance today and sis wasn't sure I'd wanted to yesterday. Talking a bit about asking care agency if could do another afternoon but not sure if will have staff at mo. Talked bit bout LPA and deputyship though neither of us are sure how do it. We also talked about looking at places for respite and I told sis that I think mum needs 24hr support now and much as none of us wants it and SS won't provide it anyway, I admitted I think she needs one and sis agreed. I feel so bad for saying it and so guilty and also like it doesn't matter anyway what sis and I think as we not ones who decide.
We did lost of texting and agreed we need to try fix as much as we can but there's lots of things to try work out, some that we can't see much way round especially during lockdown, like LPA and more care, but we know we need to try.