Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

[Woo2]

When I worked late a couple of days a week hubby cooked and I got so fed up of beige food I ordered one of the food boxes , all ingredients pre measured , it was a godsend , we all picked meals and some weeks we couldn’t find anything we thought we would like so picked different things , we were so surprised that we liked dishes we would never normally have tried , plus a lot of them were 10 minute meals or at most half hour , I only stopped them recently as they cater for 2 or 4 and I was buying extra ingredient to cater for our 5. Could be an option for you to try different things and also have a quick meal option . We are so completely different as I love eating as my waistline will testify , I get so much enjoyment out of cooking too. Can you try making something for you all that you like and not mention it and just see if she eats it ? Appreciate it is tricky and you don’t want to rock the boat at all.

 

[canary]

Can you try making something for you all that you like and not mention it and just see if she eats it ?

Id go along these lines too. If you ask someone with dementia if they want xxx, the default answer is no, because they cant remember whether they like it or not and they cant work out whether they would like it, so the safe answer is no.
Also, with dementia, their taste alters, so as the disease progresses they develop a taste for very sweet/spicy food, which they would never have eaten before. I remember my amazement when one day I turned up at mums care home to find her tucking into a curry . She had no idea what she was eating, but was obviously enjoying it!

 

[Louise7]

I remember my amazement when one day I turned up at mums care home to find her tucking into a curry .

I was exactly the same @canary. When mum moved into the care home they asked about her preferences and I replied that she'll eat anything apart from really spicy food such as curry, although I later discovered that the care home curry was really quite mild and not very spicy at all so maybe that was why she enjoyed it, rather than a change of taste. I agree with you and the other posters though that it's often best to not always ask what the person with dementia wants to eat and just serve something that everyone likes and see if they eat it.

 

[Bikerbeth]

Just a suggestion Try and have a 15-20 mins power nap when you get back. Lie down on the sofa or bed and just relax. If it works you will feel a whole Lot better even if you only ‘drift’ rather than sleep.
Variations on the food themes - chicken stew as well as beef stew. I love cottage pie but Mum sometimes made it with corned beef instead.
I hope this morning went well

 

[charliejack]

Hi @annielou just caught up on your thread, sorry to hear mum is struggling and you having a difficult time. I really don't know how you cope with it all xx

 

[annielou]

Thank you for all the replies and suggestions @Woo2 @canary @Louise7 @Bikerbeth @charliejack xxxx
How are you and your mum doing @charliejack ? Hope you and your family are doing ok and staying safe x
Mums tuesday carer came this afternoon but next week is going to be her last visit, or at least for a while. She has a baby who used to be looked after by grandparents but since lock down they have been isolating, her husband was on furlough so he was looking after their little one when she was at work but he's just been asked to go back to work and starts again in a fortnight so she will now have to stay home to look after baby,
I'm not sure yet what's going to happen about mums visit if she'll be replaced, as she's only just found out, she's let care agency know but they won't have had time to sort anything out yet. Care manager is off today so I assume she'll be in touch in next few days with more information about what will happen. Mum has two different carers one for tuesday and one for thursday, they said that would make it easier to cover for illness and holidays but I don't know if thursday carer would be free to come every tuesday too, or if they might suggest sending another carer for tuesdays, or if there'll be anyone free to cover tuesdays especially in current climate. Whatever happens it'll mean a change for mum and me which is a shame. I dont' think mum was listening when carer mentioned it as she didn't react and was busy colouring.
It was an ok day while I was there, we did some colouring and watched a bit of tv. Mum was quite mixed up and repeaty but that's normal now and she was quite relaxed. She was asking if Our Andrea was married and then asking me if I am our Andrea and if I was her daughter and why didn't I call her mum, but she was calm and not upset when asking.
After lunch she asked if I was going home this afternoon and what I was going to be doing and when I said I was going to iron she said Oh I can't iron cos my iron and board aren't here. Do you think I ought to go and get them? She's still thinking she has another house and lots of her stuff is there bless her, once I told her she was fine but then asked again ten minutes later.
She was fine about carer coming today, she does seem to have accepted them coming which is good. It's a shame things are going to change. ? fingers crossed whatever care agency come up with it will be ok for mum.

 

[TNJJ]

It

Thank you for all the replies and suggestions @Woo2 @canary @Louise7 @Bikerbeth @charliejack xxxx
How are you and your mum doing @charliejack ? Hope you and your family are doing ok and staying safe x
Mums tuesday carer came this afternoon but next week is going to be her last visit, or at least for a while. She has a baby who used to be looked after by grandparents but since lock down they have been isolating, her husband was on furlough so he was looking after their little one when she was at work but he's just been asked to go back to work and starts again in a fortnight so she will now have to stay home to look after baby,
I'm not sure yet what's going to happen about mums visit if she'll be replaced, as she's only just found out, she's let care agency know but they won't have had time to sort anything out yet. Care manager is off today so I assume she'll be in touch in next few days with more information about what will happen. Mum has two different carers one for tuesday and one for thursday, they said that would make it easier to cover for illness and holidays but I don't know if thursday carer would be free to come every tuesday too, or if they might suggest sending another carer for tuesdays, or if there'll be anyone free to cover tuesdays especially in current climate. Whatever happens it'll mean a change for mum and me which is a shame. I dont' think mum was listening when carer mentioned it as she didn't react and was busy colouring.
It was an ok day while I was there, we did some colouring and watched a bit of tv. Mum was quite mixed up and repeaty but that's normal now and she was quite relaxed. She was asking if Our Andrea was married and then asking me if I am our Andrea and if I was her daughter and why didn't I call her mum, but she was calm and not upset when asking.
After lunch she asked if I was going home this afternoon and what I was going to be doing and when I said I was going to iron she said Oh I can't iron cos my iron and board aren't here. Do you think I ought to go and get them? She's still thinking she has another house and lots of her stuff is there bless her, once I told her she was fine but then asked again ten minutes later.
She was fine about carer coming today, she does seem to have accepted them coming which is good. It's a shame things are going to change. ? fingers crossed whatever care agency come up with it will be ok for mum.

It will be up to the care agency to make sure those days are covered.I hope all is going well and you are chilling.... I hope you have thought about the food situation ?

 

[charliejack]

I'm not too bad thank you and mum is up and down, but she stopped calling out the emergency services just before lock down. She seems to understand what's going on, then she will ask if there is any virus in this country yet. She stopped going out just before it all happened so I just visit twice a week and do shopping x

 

[annielou]

I'm not too bad thank you and mum is up and down, but she stopped calling out the emergency services just before lock down. She seems to understand what's going on, then she will ask if there is any virus in this country yet. She stopped going out just before it all happened so I just visit twice a week and do shopping x

Glad you're not bad and mums stopped calling out paramedics, thats a relief x Mums not got a great grasp on it either she knows about it but one minute is asking when will they be able to go back to work and when can we go out again we can't stay in forever and the next she's saying oh no people shouldn't be going out there's no cure yet. Hope you are staying safe, are you working at moment? I think I remember you saying worked in retail.

 

[charliejack]

Glad you're not bad and mums stopped calling out paramedics, thats a relief x Mums not got a great grasp on it either she knows about it but one minute is asking when will they be able to go back to work and when can we go out again we can't stay in forever and the next she's saying oh no people shouldn't be going out there's no cure yet. Hope you are staying safe, are you working at moment? I think I remember you saying worked in retail.
[/QUOTE]

 

[annielou]

Thanks @TNJJ x Hopefully they'll be able to cover it and mum will be ok with whatever happens. ?
Hubby made us a cup of tea and we had a scone with jam and clotted cream when got back from mums,? he went back to the office (kitchen table lol) while I sorted some washing and did some ironing. I made us salmon with pasta and garlic bread for dinner something mum won't eat but we love and then we changed our bed so I got things on my list done today?
We'd already got some turkey escalopes for tomorrows dinner with mum but I'm planning on making cottage pie on Thursday afternoon and then take it to mums for friday dinnertime. And thinking of trying more things like that in future so don't have to have quiche every few days.

 

[charliejack]

Yes I work at boots, have been in all through it. Its been strange really but getting used to wearing a visor and mask and working on the door letting people in. Some colleagues who do the make up demos have been furloughed so miss them but got to know some colleagues I don't normally work with.
I hope your mom's carer is replaced and she gets on with them, what a nightmare when she had got used to them xx

 

[annielou]

I bet that is strange, good to know you have some protection, mask and visor, provided though still scary I bet ? .
I've not been in a shop since lockdown began, I only go to mums each day. Hubby has been shopping a few times and says its weird shopping single file etc with only few people in shop at a time and says it must be weirder for those working there.
Yep, its a shame about carer as mum is used to both carers and likes them both.

 

[Woo2]

Ooh the cream tea sounds lovely , so did your salmon dinner , I would make that for my mum . She wouldn’t of touched chili before , she does like a tikka now too, but some days she will say oh no that’s too spicy for me and have a korma but will then try someone else’s tikka and like it so I tend not to listen too much to what she says . I’m sorry your tues carer has got to stop work for a while , I’m sure the agency will arrange someone else and I bet she will be just as nice and mum will get on just fine with her . My mum prob wouldn’t notice it was someone different ! Glad you got your bed and ironing done and hope you have a ok day today . X

 

[Bikerbeth]

Scones and tea sound really nice.
Sorry to hear the Tuesday Carer cannot continue at the moment. I am sure like the others have said the Agency will find a replacement. Would it be worth a chat with them this morning to say that you might be interested in an extra afternoon so they could take that into account at the same time. Sorry if you might have already thought about this

 

[Woo2]

@Bikerbeth you are on the ball ! ? ? I didn’t even think of that . Hope your visit to mum goes ok today , be thinking of you . X

edit - spelling error !

 

[annielou]

Thanks @Woo2 @Bikerbeth xx Hopefully they'll be able to sort something. Just wondered if at moment with virus they might be short staffed as both mums carer have mentioned they've worked extra hours to cover lately. But I'm sure they'll do best to sort something out. x

 

[Woo2]

?

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry about the carer @annielou, but hope the agency find an equally nice replacement. It'll probably do your mum good to have a new face around. I wouldn't say anything to her about it, as she'll probably worry, then forget what the worry was, but still have the feeling that something isn't quite right.

 

[annielou]

Thanks @Woo2 @Sarasa xx Not going to say anything to mum about carer unless need to until carer due if possible.

Ok day today, though mum has been mixed up as usual and not sure who I was on and off which is also normal now, but she didn't get upset or angry and has been quite calm today which is good.
She came up with some random mixed up memories and some made up memories today. The longest one was about 3 o'clock and was about her and dad splitting up and one of dads brothers taking all her furniture. It had a couple of true bits, but with mixed up time frames and quite a lot of completely untrue made up things which must have made sense to mum but really didn't. I didn't say much, just let her ramble on, how she'd come up with some of it I don't know as it was quite a convoluted story.
Mum seems most afternoons to worry she hasn't got all her furniture from either her mums house or house she and dad lived in. Luckily today she was calm about it and didn't get stuck in loop of asking me questions so I was able to just let her talk and not really get involved. So really as days go it was quite a good one as no upsets or arguments. Mum did ring me about an hour after we'd left tonight, she rang just after 8 and asked if she'd paid for anything? When I asked her what she meant she said she only had so much in her purse and she'd thought she had so much. I told her she'd paid for her shopping I'd taken her on Monday and she said Oh yes that'll be it that's good then. I asked why she'd been looking in her purse and she said she didn't know but she'd noticed didn't have as much as she thought but her shopping was why so that was ok. She said thank you and she'd get off now. I asked her if she was watching Repair shop as she'd planned to, she'd forgotten so turned it over and said thanks for reminder and then we said night etc, I'm not sure what she'd been doing and why she'd been looking in her purse but I hope it wasn't something she was worried about. At least she knew where money had gone after ringing and hopefully she'll have enjoyed programme and been ok. ?