Thanks for the kind reply
@Woohoo x hugs back to you (X)
Unfortunately the afternoon continued much the same. I was still friend apart from a brief spell where she was talking to me about my dad and my sister in a way that I thought meant she knew I was me but then she was back to me being 'friend'. I sort of went along with it just ignoring what she called me and answering as I would.
Mid afternoon in the middle of us talking about a holiday home that had just been on tv we were watching she said 'I'm going to try ringing our Andrea tonight to see if she'll come see me, mind you she might not be there she might be at boyfriends house cos I think he has one too but I don't know where' Then she said similar thing again about five minutes later and said 'thats if she will, she might not be talking to me' I never know what to say when she says things like that so I just said she will, she'll come tomorrow.
We watched tv programmes we like and watch regularly this afternoon and I tried really hard to keep thinking of things to say so that we could chat about that and keep her attention on tv because when we were quiet for a while she would start fidgeting and then talking mixed up and questioning about where she lived and how long for again, do I need a tv licence cos I've not lived her for 13 years, I'm not getting my pension, do I need to tell council I live here again now, I've only been here about 5 weeks and I've not paid anything, every time we were quiet for more than ten minutes she would start again round and round.
Tonight when I said I was going home after dinner she said where to? I said my house and she said oh have you got a house now? I said yes and she asked where and when I told her she said Our Andie lives there have you seen her? I said yes as didn't know what else to say. Do you know her then? Yes. What did she say? did you talk to her? I was stumped then so said not really. Mum said oh did you just say hello, did you not talk about me? So I just said yes again. Then she said I'm going to try ring her later see if she'll come see me. So I said oh I'm sure she will.
She rang my mobile on the way home and said who she was and asked if I was ok, so I said yes are you? she sort of mumbled a a bit as if unsure what to say and then said I'm not bad, I wondered if you'd come and see me tomorrow? I didn't say I had been today or anything else I just went along with her and said yes I'd go tomorrow morning. We said what time and then she said thank you and see you tomorrow and while I was saying night night and love you lots like we usually do she hung up.
She rung me back a few minutes later to say I didn't tell you where I lived did I, I live at ------- I said yes thats ok I know mum. She said oh good I'll see you tomorrow morning then and again hung up while I was saying night.
She rung a third time about 1/4 of an hour after that and said I'm sorry Andie its me again, I forgot to give you my address. So I said its ok mum I know where you live its, and we both said her address at same time. She said oh sorry. She sounded a bit confused and shaky so I thought I'd change subject and try talk to her about something else for a minute take her mind off it. I asked what watching and tried chat about it but she didn't really join in and then said night and hung up again.
I've found today really hard, probably partly due to the fact I thought I was going to get some time to myself today and I'd planned to do some much needed washing and ironing but because mum didn't go to day centre I wasn't able to so I was dissapointed and knew I'd have to iron a few things when we got in tonight. Also I got up at 5.30 to be over at hers to help her get ready for it so am quite tired and the constant not knowing who I am and talking about things that are wrong and out of sync has just made me tireder. I'm also dissapointed for her that she didn't get to go as yesterday she was looking forward to it and has enjoyed it the last twice and I'm also worried she will get in to habit of not going, or forget she likes it and not want to go again. I also hate seeing her so confused, its cruel seeing her unsettled and not knowing whats going on.
After we got in just before 8 I ironed for an hour as hubby needed things for work the rest of the week and I needed things for going to mums too. Then I sorted some washing to put on before I leave for mums in morning and sorted a few other little jobs before finally sitting down about half nine and all I wanted to do was sit and cry, which I did a bit while ironing, I didn't even realise I was doing it till I saw the drips on the ironing board.
I'm just so sad today, sad for mum and sad for me.