Thanks for that x, I'm thinking ours is probably at memory clinic too. I do find it all so confusing though.
That sounds like a tough evening. It must be hard juggling kids and mum and trying to keep both happy. I'd imagine an impossibility. Things seems so extreme, just little changes seems to throw them off and they take things so personal too don't they.
I'm in a bit of a daze tonight wondering if done right thing and totally unsetlled and feeling guilty as I am at home currently and mum is at her house. I'm petrified to go to bed in case need to get up and go to mums quickly.
Mum hasn't had a bad day, I was me first thing, then I was the other Andrea for a few hours until hubby came and took us to supermarket, and then I was me again. Supermarket wasn't as stressful as usual, and then back to my house for lunch and dinner. Mum was ok most of day, still mixing things up forgetting things but calm and ok and not questioning who were for a change. I found a couple of jesse stone films on channel 5 which she likes and they kept her interest for most of time with a bit of help keeping track of story even though shes seen them before she enjoyed them.
About 7ish she said she ought to be going home so we took her back with some fresh clothes for me and were going to see how she was when got her home.
She asked if I was staying when saw me take fresh clothes out to car and said she'd be fine on her own. Then she said her mum would be back soon anyway which worried me a bit but then she said oh no my mum is dead isn't she, here I am going on about her and she won't be there, I am daft I tell yer.
When we got to hers she was ok seemed quite settled and acting like thought we were just dropping her off and going home. We hung around for a while putting shopping away and chatting a bit. She said would be fine when i asked if wanted me to stay. So we decided to try coming home. We said we'd see her tomorrow, pick her up before lunch and I'd ring in morning. As I left she said mine and 'friends' name which worried me.
When I rang to say I was home she asked where I'd been and then asked if I was coming home tonight. I told her I was home and she said oh yes you don't live here now. asked where i lived and mentioned i lived with boyfriend or hubby now and she'd forgot. We had 10 minutes conversation where she told me she had been to 'friend' and friends hubbys house and they had asked her for lunch tomorrow so could she see me another day when I said I'd see her tomorrow. She seemed quite mixed up saying things we;d done had been 'friend' and her hubby but seemed happy enough there at home and so we said I'd ring in morning and see her soon. It worried me as she had mixed us up but thought as she was calm on phone maybe just let her think was friends today and see how she went on.
She rang bout half hour later asking why i hadn't said I wasn't coming back. Think she'd completely forgot the previous call. She said she thought I lived there still but couldn't find my bedroom.We chatted for about ten minutes again and she said it felt funny being on her own as I'd been there for long time. She couldn't work out if I lived there or not. She said what was happening to her brain, it had gone altogether and was scared what was happening to her. Which worried me and I felt bad.
She still thought she had been out to friends house today not ours, didn't think she had seen me today. She asked if she would see me tomorrow and I said yes I'll come pick you up before lunch and ring you in morning is that all right? and she said yes, but then started saying she thought she was going somewhere else again. I told her I'd ring in morning and we'd sort it then so she said ok see you tomorrow.
Since then I've been feeling guilty for not going over when she's scared about whats happening to her and confused. I've not been able concentrate on much and apart from text sister about it and talked to hubby about it I've just been worrying about her. I keep thinking I should have gone and am being selfish leaving her there confused.
My sister said just be ready to go if she rings and asks you to. If she needs you she will ring back. Part of me thinks when she is confused who I am and I'm there it doesn't help, I think it confuses her even more so maybe I'd make her worse if went, but at least she wouldn't be alone.
Even though she recognised my voice as me on phone if I turned up would she think I'm me or 'friend' and be upset Andrea hadn't come? So I have stayed here in a bit of a fog wondering and worrying.
I hate this not knowing what to do and worrying if she's coping I wish I could see how she is doing, I haven't rung since her last call because it could confuse her more and even if ok on call it could change five minutes afterwards.
I really should go to bed in case she calls in night or morning so I have had some sleep and I want to be up earlyish to ring her when she would normally be up and about to check ok and remind her when we'll see her, and I want to go over mid morning so she's not on her own too long. But I'm so nervous to get changed into my pjs and add time on by needing to getting dressed again if we need to go over.