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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Banjomansmate x Yep. And we even got a few laughs in after the grumps :) Me and mum always used to laugh at silly little things and it's so nice when we have odd moments like that now as they don't happen nowhere near as often.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,953
0
Bedford
Thanks @Banjomansmate x Yep. And we even got a few laughs in after the grumps :) Me and mum always used to laugh at silly little things and it's so nice when we have odd moments like that now as they don't happen nowhere near as often.
That was what I was thinking - a few laughs at silly things is so wonderful. You did so well getting your Mum to the hospital and you should be proud of yourself. Your Mum May have been grumpy but it does not sound like she was over stressed.
Please make some time for you and hubby this evening as you both deserve it after the last few days.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
That sounds like it went well on the whole , I too agree with @Bikerbeth that is was lovely to have a few laughs and you did so well . Maybe you left an impression on others not to take theirselves to seriously and to have a giggle . Glad it’s done now . Hope today is ok . X
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
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As @Bikerbeth said I think that went as well as it could@annielou. Maybe write down a list of questions to ask when you have the consultation so you can then make up your mind if it will be worth the hassle for your mum to have the op, if they offer it to her in the first place.
Mum and I always had lots of laughs and still do up to a point, though I have to be careful about what I do. Of course I haven't seen her in months, but about six months ago I said something in a mock cross voice to make her laugh and I scared her :(
 
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annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Bikerbeth @Woo2 @Sarasa @Banjomansmate xxxx I will try remember yesterdays laughing with mum as nice memories. Mum doesn't seem bothered by yesterday now so must not have been too stressful for her thankfully. She saw someone with a mask on tv today and told me she had one on yesterday cos she went to hospital. (didn't think I knew) then she asked Will hospital send me a letter or will I have to go back cos they never told me owt yesterday or is that it now? I said Dr is going to ring and tell us over phone next week instead of us going in to see him. Mum said good as it was a trail to 'city' and then said I'm not having an op anyway no matter what they say am too old and I might not be here that long or I might die from shock and I hate hospitals. I said It might make your sight better in that eye if they say can do it. Mum said I can't be doing with all that faff, I'm not having it.
There wasn't a lot I could say to that at moment cos don't even know if op is an option but apart from other month when she said wished had gone for referral at beginning and when we went to last appointment and mum said ok to referral, she has consistently said she doesn't want an operation. I don't know whether she understands what might happen if does or doesn't have it and I think she is going more on she doesn't like hospitals and doesn't like going to 'city', she has said occassionaly I might have had it if could have it at our hospital.
That's a good idea to make list of things want to know and say when calls, I'll have think and jot some down and take a pad and pen over on day. I'm terrible at talking to people, drs etc, and tend to go bit blank or not know when to say or ask things so hopefully that might help.
Not had a bad day today so far. Mum was ok today, thought I was 'friend' on and off and had a few go round's about paying her rent and if people knows she's here. She said she might ring her brother to see if he could help her out and when i asked with what she said Sorting my rent out cos I think I'm going to have to pay it and he can help me find out and maybe lend me some money to pay it if need pay in one go. I told her AGAIN It's ok mum you get housing benefit that council pay straight to landlord I showed you letter yesterday and they know you have pension it's ok. She wanted to know how I knew so I told her because I sorted it for her and then she asked if I was her daughter. I said yes and she said wasn't sure cos I looked different, so I said I probably look older, I bet if I had bunches in you'd recognise me. I always loved bunches as a kid and for years there was photo of me with them on wall and on and off over the years for a laugh I used to hold my hair like bunches and say do I look same?. This made mum laugh today and then she said I bet I could put my hair in bunches now its so blooming long and she started moaning about her hair being a mess.
Mum hasn't had her hair cut since last may and so it's grown quite a lot from her usual short cut. We talked about why not been to hairdresser and she said her carer had offered to cut it but she hadn't let her cos didn't know if she could do it. Then mum said You could cut it me. I have cut her fringe a few times in past year and also trimmed a bit off bottom a while ago so I offered to cut her fringe again if wanted. Mum said No cut it all, can't you cut it for me it's so long and annoying me. The sides of her hair have grown over her ears and the back is longer and covers her neck. When she gets warm she sometimes puts back in a pony tail. I was looking at her hair and thought if cut back to match sides it would be a bit like a bob. I told mum I could have a go at it but then she wouldn't be able to put bottom up in ponytail and mum said if cut to match sides wouldn't need to cos be off her neck anyway. She was desperate for it cutting so I decided to have a go.
I got a chair out in kitchen and put couple of towels round her neck and started. I cut about 2 inches of length at back to match length at sides, tidied ends of sides up and trimmed a bit off her fringe. Mums hair has a wave in it and she hadn't done anything with it today so it was a bit all over the place and kinky so I found her old straighteners and straightened it after I cut it and then trimmed any stray bits. I was chozzed with it to be honest, and so was mum when she saw it. It looks a bit like a bob which is what I hoped, mum thinks it'll be nice when its hot cos it won't be thick on her neck now and she can still tuck it behind her ears.
I think mum enjoyed me doing it for her too and I made her laugh as I was pretending to be a hairdresser while I was cutting it and talking in a silly accent. I told her my name was trace-eee and asked her if she was going on holiday this year, mum said No love not this year and I said Yer shud go get some sun. I'm going next week, me n mi boyfriend ter-reeee are going fur-wengi-roller. We're goin drive to th'airport in his cortina. He's had wun a them stickers dun wi Terry and Trace on for across top a windscreen n he's got wun a them stickers on back on it that says my other cars a lamborgeeny he's a right scream my te-rreee. I can't wait for sum sun me a love it. Av got 3 bikinis and a sarong and 2 pair a flip flops that's all am gonna need, that n my ter-ree. 🤣
I sent sis some pics of mums hair when I'd finished and she thought it looked much better and hubby thinks it looks good. Mum hasn't known what to do with her hair lately and it didn't look great. It's not salon quality but it is an improvement. When carer came this afternoon she asked Mum if she'd had her hair cut and said it looked nice. We're not sure how it'll look when mum's slept on it or when mum does it herself but each time she saw it in mirror today she said I do like my hair, it looks good, which made a nice change from her usual Look at my bloody hair I need to get it cut.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,786
0
Dorset
Another “Well done”!
A good day to remember, maybe the change of yesterday has helped jolt her out a little from the usual merry go round?
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire

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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
@annielou , is there no end to your talents ! It looks really good . I have been tempted to do mums but it would be shockingly bad . Have tried to get her to tie her hair up to keep her cool . Glad you have had an ok day today . I’m surprised as I would of thought hospital visit would have unsettled her , but pleased I was wrong . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @DianeW @Woo2 xx
I wondered if yesterdays hospital visit might unsettle her too but not today at least so that's good. We had a bit of questioning about rent etc and who I was today but not too much really and she only mentioned hospital and her eye once. I think cutting her hair distracted her from loops for a while and with leaving early I wasn't there in afternoon when things get more confusing for her and she becomes more insistent with her questioning.
You could always try your mums @Woo2 , it's easier if cutting quite a bit off as it's easier to see difference in length from old to new so you can cut it straighter. When you're not cutting much off its harder to tell difference in what has and hasn't been cut yet. I once cut my own hair from resting on my shoulders to just below my chin and it was a lot easier than trimming my fringe.
Hows your mum doing did you contact MC and GP ?
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,922
0
You are a talented hairdresser @annielou, your mum's hair looks great. Shame you are so far away as mine is in desperate need of a cut.
Hope today is a good day.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
604
0
Wow @annielou you're a hairdresser now! Amazing job! I am doing my husband's hair now and apparently that will be my job going forward. But attempting a bob? I have to say I am very impressed. It sounds like you did a great job at the eye appointment too. I had to laugh at the 'does my nose look big in this' comment! Mum's still got her vanity then bless her 😍
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks for your replies @canary @Sarasa @imthedaughter xxx She may let me straighten it for her sometimes, don't think she'll want me to wash it for her as she usually does it in shower and doesn't like doing it in sink. We were talking about her regular carer coming back tomorrow after her annual leave and saying she'd be able to see mums hair cut and I offered to straighten it for her tomorrow so it looks nice and smooth for when she comes. Mum said yes and she might wash it tomorrow too so I'll see what happens tomorrow.
@imthedaughter did your husband want a bob too 😜 lol
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,953
0
Bedford
Does that mean you have had at least an ok day today?
How did the ‘temp’ carer work out. If it worked out ok could she do another morning for you at the weekend?
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
An up and down one, not too bad up to last post @Bikerbeth but not so good after
When I rang mum this morning mum said happy birthday, I said thanks but told her it's tomorrow and then mum told me she'd got me a card but it was one she already had because W (my dad) had left and she'd come to live here and was up to her eyeballs in it and didn't know what she had to do about her rent she was trying work it out. I told her rent was all sorted and she got housing benefit we'd sorted it when she moved in so she didn't need to worry. Mum said Oh thats one less thing then thanks. I told her I was setting off and I'd see her soon, she said ok love.
Mum said Happy birthday again when I arrived and when I said its tomorrow she said Oh right, I've got you a card here are you going to take it home for then, so I said yes and thank you. I don't know how she had remembered my birthday (even though day early) as I haven't mentioned it and she hasn't either till this morning.
She's asked questions quite a few times during the day, starting from when I arrived up to when I left, about her rent, how long lived there, where W was, where our Andie is, thought she had lived there before then got back with dad and lived with him then come back here a few week ago, all her usual mix ups. She has called me 'friend' most of day and ask me lots of times if our Andrea knows where she lives, and wondered if our Andrea would come sometime to see her and told me she's surprised our Andrea doesn't come as they'd always been close. Mixed in with lots of are you our Andrea? are you my daughter? how old are you? I didn't think our andrea was that old, is our Andrea married, does our Andrea have a house, where is it, have I been? But although there has been lots of questions and she forgets almost straight away what I say and sometimes doesn't even take in what I say it's been an average not too bad a day as mums not got upset or angry or too agitated.
She rang me a bit after I got home to ask if I was going to see her tomorrow as she couldn't remember if she'd asked me or not. I told her yes I'd be back tomorrow I'd go in morning and she said good, then she asked if I'd been there today and I said yes. Mum said she hadn't seen me, was I sure? I said yes and mum said she didn't know that, how long had I been there? I told her I'd gone about half ten and that I'd not long been home. Mum asked What did we do? so I told her we'd knitted, watched tele, chatted and what we'd had to eat and mum said she didn't know that, wasn't she stupid, I said she wasn't and not to worry about it. Mum said well thank you for coming, will you come tomorrow? I said yes in the morning and mum said Yes come in morning cos I'm brighter in the morning. I said why do you glow, do you shine like the sun, will I need my sunglasses? and mum laughed which I hoped she would. She said I do love you Andie and I told her I loved her. She said I'll see you tomorrow then, I said She would and reminded her repair shop was on at 8 and we said bye.
Mum sounded ok when we hung up and I hoped that she'd be ok rest of night, but then mum rang me again about 20 past 9 confused. She said My mum hasn't come back and I don't know where W (my dad) is so I'm going to have to sleep here.
She seemed to think she was in her mums house, she had gone to see her mum but she hadn't come back yet. She thought my dad had been there at her mums house with her earlier but then gone so she'd have to go back up to their house on her own, she thought she lived in house we lived in when her and dad lived when split up almost 30 year ago. She thought her mum had been on holiday, her brother had been there earlier and told her that and so mum was waiting for her mum to come back but she hadn't yet. She didn't know if her mum had a key so she couldn't go home cos her mum might not be able to get in.
She was surprised to know it was her house she was in and was sure she still lived in our old house with dad, she didn't know we'd been to hers today and was bit worried she didn't know where she was and she didn't know what was happening. She said it was her mums house she was in and so I described furniture and mum said that was where she was but it was her mums stuff. She kept going back to it being her mums house and her mum was coming back from holiday so mum couldn't go home yet and sounded really confused. I tried to reassure her she was just bit mixed up cos tired and she was in right place but a second after I'd tell her something she'd ask something or tell me something else mixed up like she didn't have any clothes there. After we'd been on about ten minutes she had agreed to stay there and not go anywhere else and then she told me she couldn't get tele on. I'd left her watching last of the summer wine when we left hers at 20 past 7 so I'm not sure why it was turned off but maybe she had turned it off and unplugged it cos she thought she was going home, she didn't know why it was off. I told her how to plug it in but mum couldn't get it off standby. I told her which button to press to get it off standby but she couldn't get it to come on, her tele can be a pain, it's a standing joke it's a faff you have to wave remote about near tv to get it to come on. Mum kept trying to do it but the back came off battery compartment and she couldn't get it to work. I think maybe batteries might be going as it has took couple of attempts today to change channel, I so wish I'd thought to change batteries while I was there today. I offered to go over and try get it to turn on for her but mum said no she'd just turn it off. I told her I'd look at it tomorrow and change batteries.
We'd spent 10 minutes with her trying to get tv on and in between attempts she kept talking about her mum coming back and her thinking she didn't live there. I asked her what she would do if turned tele off and mum said she didn't know. I suggested maybe she did her puzzles or read and mum said she couldn't really do them now so I suggested colouring and she said maybe she would. She asked again why she didn't know it was her house, she was sure she lived in --(where our old house was) I told her it's just when her brain gets tired it remembers old memories, try not to worry about it too much as she'll only get more confused, Mum said Ok. I said You're in right place so don't go anywhere else, stay there and sleep there tonight and I'll come tomorrow morning is that ok? Mum said Ok I'll sleep here, I've got a bed. She said she'd see me tomorrow and we said night.
I didn't know if I should have gone over or if that might make things worse as then I'd have to leave again later so I didn't go, but I was worried about her staying there all mixed up and I'm still feeling guilty for not going over. I hope she settled down and stopped thinking she lived somewhere else. I hope she found something to do and didn't sit there worrying and trying to figure things out.
 
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