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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Grrrrrrrrrr 😣😔😞 just borrowing mums angry growl from the other day as this morning it fits my mood. Not sure why I’m annoyed really as was expecting this but I am.
Rang mum this morning to say I was setting off and she answered sounding sniffly.We talked about het sniffly nose coming and going then she Said You’re not thinking if coming are you? I said yes just about to set off. She told me I didn’t usually go at this time which I do, but she said its usually half eleven, we go later at weekends. She said she wanted to get her work done this morning and couldn’t if she had to sit talking to me. I said I didn’t mind het doing stuff while I was there, I could help her if she liked or she could do it on own if preferred but Mum said NO I want to do it on my own I’ll have to keep stopping to talk to you if you’re here. I said she didn’t need to I didn’t mind, but then she shouted I JUST WANT TO DO IT ON MY OWN so I said Ok I’ll come in an hour then.
I was really annoyed when we hung up, I was half expecting it as she’d asked ‘friend’ Yesterday morning Can you not come tomorrow ‘friend’ cos I want to get my work done and we’d talked about me helping and her wanting do it on own but I need take tablets so I’d asked hubby if she said it today could he take me over bit later. So I was half expecting her to say it this morning and was prepared to offer to go an hour later and see how that went but her anger and attitude annoyed me.
In one way I’m pleased she’s talking bout doing cleaning as lately only time she said she was going to do it has been as an excuse not to do it now or a way of getting on at me by saying me going has stopped her so fact she is actually saying going to do it now is good sign sertraline making her feel better and more motivated. I just wish it didn't come with stroppyness and she understood I have to go give her tablets.
I’m almost there and dreading reception I might get. I wonder how much she’ll actually have done as she is so slow and gets mixed up when she does anything. It can take her an hour do one job as keeps getting distracted or repeating same bit and she gets tired easy so keeps sitting down.
I wish I could drive and could have just popped in with tablet and then gone back for lunch ones. When mum says she wants to be on own and do it I’d love to say Ok I’ll not cone today and have a day at home myself but she can’t remember tablets or cook at dinnertime and would probably forget later on that she asked to be on her own and be upset and or annoyed that she’d been left on own.
I’ll have give her sertraline soon as arrive and hope when has lunch and takes galantamine it doesn’t make her feel sicky this afternoon like it has when taken close together before.
so grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
@annielou give mum tablets and if mood isn’t great , get out of there, leave her to it , mum actually goes to her room and says she just wants time on her own . Don’t worry if she hasn’t cleaned , go for a walk or go back home and just go back later to make her something to eat and tablets . If you get carer another day can you get them to do some of the tablets ? Just to take some pressure off you . Your doing fab 🤗 🤗 and fully understand you feeling miffed . Hope it’s going ok🤞 X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 x
Luckily mum was stuck with quilt cover when I arrived and asked me to do it so she was fine with me arriving. I gave her sertraline tablets straight away and we didn’t have lunch till one so there was a good gap before her galantamine.
She was mid way through bedroom when I got here and after tablets mum went back to it. I asked if she wanted me to do anything and mum said I could dust living room if I liked so I did and mum carried on in bedroom. She lost things a few times, got confused and tried putting another sheet on top of one had already put on, couldn’t remember where things went but she finished bedroom off. She brought hoover in to room to hoover in there but then went to put something away and when she came back in room started putting hoover away. I asked if she’d changed her mind about hoovering room and mum said she’d forgot that’s what she was doing, she started unravelling wire again then said No actually I think I’ll do it tomorrow and wound it back up and put it away. 🙄.
She said she was going to do bathroom later but hasn’t. I’ve not said anything, rooms been dusted and bedrooms been done so thats something I suppose. I made us a cup of tea and mum was talking about cleaning and said she’d forgot to dust a couple of vases, I told her I’d done them and then she told me a story about her just polishing tv and left a smear and realised shouldn’t use polish on tv so wiped it off, which I’ve no idea where she came up with that from cos she hadn’t done it. 🤔
She told me she didn’t sleep well again, said she’d been awake till about 1 last couple of days but was about 2 yesterday before went to sleep. She thinks its cos she’s on her own now and will get used to being on own soon. 🙁
She’s also said she might get thrown out of here soon as will need pay rent. Told her has housing benefit. But I get my pension now. I know thats why you get it, its fine mum. Will I have to go to council? No they already know you’re here mum. Oh good. Will our Andrea know where I am now. Yes mum I know 😀 big smile from me. Does she Oh good 🙄😔
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Well a confused morning but great that you managed to dust and hoover some , as you say some better than none ;) also mum was ok with you so it’s a big positive👍. Well done , you are finding such good ways to distract and also help your mum . Hope the rest of the afternoon goes ok🤞X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,936
0
Bedford
Glad to hear that the day is going better than you initially expected. Some cleaning done and your Mum is not in a mood with you whilst you are there. I find it hard when Mum mixes me with her sister and that might be only 30 mins on a phone so I really do think you do a fantastic job of handling that. I hope the afternoon continued ok
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 @Bikerbeth xx Rest of afternoon went ok too.
Mum didn't always know who I was, which is pretty usual, but a few times she would click who I was, one time I did have to laugh about it and luckily so did mum. There was something on tv about fathers day and mum said I don't have a father, I don't have a mother either. Do you have a father Andrea? I said No. Mum said Do you have a mother? Yes I said and smiled at her and just waited for a minute, she looked a bit blank and then she smiled and said Is it me? I said Yep, your my mum. Mum said Are you my Andrea? so I said I sure am. Mum said Oh hello Andrea and I said Hello Mum and I couldn't help give a little laugh and then mum laughed so I waved and said Hello Mum again and mum did it back and we sat waving and saying hello mum hello Andrea a couple of times. Five minutes later she was back to not knowing I was me as she was telling me about Our Andrea as if I didn't know her but still it had been a nice fun moment.
She told me a few times today You don't have to come everyday, I'll be ok on my own, You'll never get to see your man (she says man when can't remember if I'm married), You could have your dinner at home I'm ok on my own. I just kept saying it's ok he's working anyway I'll see him later. She wasn't sure who my hubby was, or how long we'd been married, or where we lived, which is also usual now, along with saying Oh our Andrea lives at - (same village as I just said I live). Hubby is on holiday from work for next two weeks but we've not mentioned it to mum as we don't want her keep saying He'll be lonely and asking if he'll be mad at her for me being with her not him. When he's had bank holidays off if she's noticed day and asked if he's off I tell her he is but he's doing jobs at home/garden so is busy anyway as I don't want her to feel bad or worry.
Hope you've both had ok days 🤞
 
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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
The idea of you both waving and saying hello made me smile . Glad it was an ok day . Can you get hubby ironing and bed changing;) so when you have tues and thurs afternoon off you two could do something nice ? Day been ok here thanks . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
It was a funny moment 👋👋😁 and it's always nice to have those, I tend to write a lot about my worries and upsets so thought I'd remember a happier moment from yesterday. Glad your day was ok x
Hubby and ironing :eek: he can do a shirt and possibly a tshirt though he'd struggle if it had a transfer or a collar on it which most of his have and he can just about do jeans though he doesn't roll the seam to side properly to iron all of leg without making a crease down side and he is so slow he could start now and not finish pile before his two weeks holiday is over lol.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
You iron T-shirts and jeans???!!!!!!!
Lol:) I do, they come out the wash wrinkly. I iron almost everything wearable, but I don't do undies, I used to know a woman who ironed pants and socks o_O I have a few long tops and a couple of cardis that if I shake and put on a coat hanger to dry they don't need ironing and I love those but everything else gets ironed even my leggings which my sister rolls her eyes at.
But I don't iron bedding:oops: I have never done it because I know if I started doing when put fresh on I would be going back every day to re iron it when we got up. Once you've slept in it, or at least once hubbys slept in it, it gets creased again and I'd notice the difference and it would bug me so I don't bother in first place lol.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
Oh :eek:I iron everything except socks and towels . I spend ages on my bedding so it is completely smooth and not a wrinkle in sight , it does at least stay nice for one whole day before we get in it ! ok so hubby won’t be ironing then, but still I hope you get to do something nice in that time🤞. X
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,980
0
South coast
Im obviously the slutty one on here. The only things I iron are shirts/non jersey tops, skirts, "smart" trousers and tea-towels - and there isnt much of it as we both spend most of our time in jeans and T-shirts. Things get hung up on hangers or carefully folded as soon as they come in from the line or tumbledryer.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,871
0
I iron my husband's tshirts but never bother with mine. I don't do sheets or tea towels. I only iron about once a fortnight.
Hope today is as good as it can be @annielou
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
I
Im obviously the slutty one on here. The only things I iron are shirts/non jersey tops, skirts, "smart" trousers and tea-towels - and there isnt much of it as we both spend most of our time in jeans and T-shirts. Things get hung up on hangers or carefully folded as soon as they come in from the line or tumbledryer.
I do fold everything neatly when getting it off the line too, I need to get a life really but I spent some of my working life in a big name dry cleaners . I actually enjoy ironing and cleaning , find it therapeutic . Good on you for not being a slave to the iron 👍
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
824
0
Lytham St Annes
I’m another who hardly irons anything, luckily the clothes we have in the main don’t need ironing at all, I just smooth and fold them when dried an ....voila

My Mum she used to iron everything, towels, t-towels, undies, socks....bedding you name it.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,937
0
cornwall
I’m another who hardly irons anything, luckily the clothes we have in the main don’t need ironing at all, I just smooth and fold them when dried an ....voila

My Mum she used to iron everything, towels, t-towels, undies, socks....bedding you name it.
I actually don’t iron..,anything.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
My sister in law didn't used to iron as she put most things in tumble dryer and said she didn't need to after been in there and she never looked particularly wrinkly. I dry most mine on an airer inside and sometimes, though rarely lately, outside on the line and mine always look wrinkly :(
Never ironed undies, towels, bedding and only ironed tea towels if using one to cover something I'm ironing that don't want to get shiny or burnt which is rare.
I hate ironing but hate being wrinkly more, although I do seem to have a knack that ten minutes after I put on a nicely ironed garment it looks like it been screwed up so actually probably look like I've not ironed it anyway. :rolleyes:
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
267
0
Im obviously the slutty one on here. The only things I iron are shirts/non jersey tops, skirts, "smart" trousers and tea-towels - and there isnt much of it as we both spend most of our time in jeans and T-shirts. Things get hung up on hangers or carefully folded as soon as they come in from the line or tumbledryer.
I’m with @canary on that!! I actually don’t mind a bit of ironing but never t shirts or jeans, or indeed anything that can be dried on a hanger so the creases drop out,
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Thanks for the comments on ironing it cheered me up a bit as I'm feeling grumpy. I'm at home at the minute and mums at her house alone.
When I rang after picking up click & collect this morning to say be there in few minutes mum said she had upset tummy and wasn't feeling well. She said it had started mid morning after a cup of tea and she'd last been just over half an hour ago. I thought she'd probably not want to come to ours so thought I'd end up staying at mums and sending hubby home with our shopping to come back later in day.
When we got to mums I gave her tablets, hubby unpacked and wiped down her shopping and then hubby was sat chatting to mum while I put stuff away and emptied washer for her. When hubby mentioned her coming to ours she told hubby she wasn't coming cos was tired and tummy was still hurting. She said she'd been up most of night. She'd been sat on sofa till about 5. When I asked her about it she said she had been up till bout 5 then gone to bed till bout 1/4 past 8 and been up since then. I asked her why and she said she'd been up with her tummy. Hubby said I thought it didn't start till this morning? and mum said she'd felt like it was going to start last night so hadn't gone to bed.
She wasn't too clear about things so it was a bit hard to get proper idea of what happened. My sister rang her this morning about 9 and told me mum was good and chatty and said she'd got up bout 20 past 8 but hadn't been in shower yet cos she was sitting doing her puzzles. She'd made no mention of not sleeping or feeling like had upset tummy then but mum can forget and not say anything for a while if not slept etc, especially to sister. I have feeling mum was up late cos couldn't sleep and tummy didn't start till mid morning. I asked if she'd been sat up cos she were worrying and thinking about stuff or cos of her tummy? Mum said she'd felt like tummy was going to start and couldn't sleep anyway so she sat up cos she's not been sleeping very well lately. So don't know if that's true or just her thinking that was reason she was up.
Either way mum was tired and still had bit of a churny tummy so she wanted to stay home on own and maybe have a nap and she didn't want me to stay with her and hubby go home when I suggested it. We sat and chatted for a bit and hubby asked her again if she wanted come with us but she said she was tired, she'd just stay home and watch tele and maybe nod off. Hubby said you can watch tele with us, its fine if you nod off and we can bring you back whenever you want you don't have to stay long if you don't want. But mum said no she'd rather stay home.
I was wondering what to do about her galantamine tablet she has with lunch, as she had churny tummy I didn't think she'd want any lunch for a while but if I went home there was every chance that she'd just decide to have some but not let me know so I could go back with tablet. I daren't risk leaving it with a note when to take it as that never works with mum, expecting her to look at note and act on it at right time is about as likely as winning the lottery. So I thought maybe today it'd be easier to hold onto tablet and go back later and give it her at dinnertime this evening. I have given it her at dinner instead of lunch once before even though it's supposed to be at same time each day so hope it will be ok.
I told mum we'd go home then and she could ring me if she wanted and if not we'd come back at dinnertime. At first she was ok with us going and coming back to make dinner and give tablet and said she'd ring me if needed me, but then just as we were about to leave she got a bit of the hump and started saying why don't you just leave tablet with a note when to take it. Saying she didn't need me to give her it and she wasn't an imbecile or two years old, she could make a sandwich and take a tablet, she'd just had some tablets so she didn't need any others, she just wanted to be on her own and us to go, she didn't want us to come back later. I told her I wasn't trying to upset her or treat like an imbecile. I tried, even though I know it's pointless, to say that I can't just leave it with a note, I have to check take it right way. I often say memory clinic told me to keep them and give mum them and that nearly all people who have alzheimers someone else gives them their tablets and MC told me I'd to do it as it does sometimes lessen her resistance to me giving her them, MC did say it is better if someone else keeps them and gives mum them rather than mum being in charge of own medication so I've only stretched it a bit.
Mum didn't shout but she was grumpy and didn't agree with me and just kept saying Oh just go Andie. I said I was sorry if upset her I didn't want to upset her. I'd go now and see her later, if she needed me just ring me, she knew where I was. She said she didn't know where I was, she didn't know where I lived. I asked You know how to ring me though don't you? Mum said I might if I have your ringtone but I don't know where you live. (ringtone?? I assumed she meant number) I said I can stay if you like but mum said she didn't want me to stay, so I told her my phone number was in her phone and in her phone book under-- (my name) and mum said Oh yes I have that. I said So you can ring me if you want a chat or need me and she said Ok but just go now Andie.
So Hubby and I have come home, put our shopping away and had lunch, we've been back about an hour and 3/4s now and are just sat on tenterhooks now wondering if she will be ok with us when I ring and go over later and lets me make dinner and give her tablet. Wondering if she'll ring any moment in panic, or ring annoyed at us, or bored and we need to be ready to get up and go over. Hoping she is ok on her own and calmed down and isn't still sat there mad and annoyed at us. Hope she's not thinking we haven't been today and we've abandoned her. Hoping she's feeling ok and not feeling poorly. Hoping she's not confused and wondering whats going on and think she has nobody to ask. I don't want to ring to see if she's ok in case she's nodded off as she could do with sleep if been up last night as she's said been late to sleep lately and I don't want to annoy her either.
So I'll just sit on tenterhooks hoping we did right thing leaving her on own and saving tablet till dinnertime and hoping things go ok later.
 

Mumslittlehelper62

New member
Jun 20, 2020
8
0
I am so tired of being called that blooming womans name!!!!!
Mum has been getting me mixed up with other people on and off for a while but for the past fortnight shes been mixing me up with a woman who was partly responsible for mum and dad splitting up.
The woman was part of a couple mum and my dad were friends with about 40 years ago up to 29 years ago when mum thought something was going on between the friend and my dad (there was evidence) and mum and dad split up and mum and the friend haven't been friends since.
But now for the last two weeks mum keeps calling me her name and often talks about my husband as if he is the womans husband and thinks my house is the couples house. My furniture is theirs, Even my Christmas tree which I only bought last year is their tree they have had for years and years.
She keeps telling me (as the old friend) she is going to ring our Andrea, or our Andrea hasn't been to see her, or you've no need to come tomorrow --- because I'll be going to our Andreas. She is constantly refering to our Andrea as someone else not me.
She gets quite annoyed and won't believe that I am her daughter Andrea when I, or hubby, or my sister when she was here last weekend, explain I am not the old friend. She keeps saying she will ring our Andrea and ask her or ring --- and ask her who I am. Then she looks in her bag for something to say who I am or reads her address book to see if it says there who I am. She will read out my address and say you cant live there 999 letsby avenue because our Andrea lives at 999 letsby avenue and you live near me or in (friends village)
The most upsetting and annoying part is that obviously I'm not a fan of the friend and neither was mum for last 29 year so when she realises who she's talking about she isn't happy. It's awkward reminding mum why they are not friends, that her and dad split up 29 year ago and he died 4 year ago. There's no way to avoid telling her either as she gets so confused while talking about things that it has to come out who I am and she gets so het up asking questions about it that you have to answer and reveal I'm Andrea her daughter not the friend. It doesn't sink in properly though and just gets more and more confusing for everyone as she calls me both Andrea and --- in the same sentence.
It's wearing me out, constantly answering questions on the same thing and mum not believing who I am. She just won't stop going round n round it can go on for hours.
It happened a couple of times a day for a few minutes at a time at first, then more times and for longer each day and for the past week she thinks I'm this woman most of the time. And I have the same conversation about fifty times a day now with mum constantly not believing me, getting annoyed and aggressive and then upset.
My sister said at the weekend she was sick of hearing about the friend and didn't know how I could stand it all the time as she couldn't believe how long mum went on for and how confusing it all got.
I am starting to feel like I am going mad and soon won't know who I am.
Sorry for the long ramble but I just wanted to get it out, I have been writing it during another round of --- why hasn't our Andrea been to see me. Do you stay here? Well why isn't our Andrea looking after me. I'll ring her and ask her to do it.
 

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