Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 @Bikerbeth xx
I've never been good on rollercoasters, I get sick travelling flat let alone whizzing up and down ?? But yes it does feel like I'm on an emotional one now. Today has been better.
It did feel weird coming home and being in the house alone this afternoon, it's only happened about 3 times in months and it feels rather odd. I managed to get the bathroom cleaned, the bed changed and everywhere dusted and hoovered and mopped the kitchen floor.
Hubby and I had salmon pasta for tea which we haven't had for over 6 months as mum doesn't like pasta or salmon and we've rarely eaten without her. Mind you I forgot to put the cheese and tomatoe bread in so we didn't get that:oops:. I should have put it in oven when hubby came home but I need hubby to help me turn mattress so as soon as he came in I rushed him upstairs ?? When I came down to make sauce after hoovering bed we realised I'd forgot the bread and it was too late so we had to do without? But we enjoyed dinner anyway and I got chance to talk to hubby about work and just a bit about mum.
I paid mums bill, checked a few things online and then sat and shopped the next sale tonight, something I've not been able to do the last few times. Although I don't know why I do it as I usually send at least half what I order back, but I've not ordered as much as I used to do as I did find it hard to concentrate properly for long, it used to be something I would spend hours and hours looking through, I didn't spend as long tonight but it was nice to do again.
That's a good idea Bikerbeth if I don't do a redirection for mums mail I could try that for those bills ? x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Dementia changes so much for the person and the Carer. So I guess what was enjoyable/important in the past changes and heads us in a new direction.
glad to hear that you had a better day and I hope you get to keep a sale bargain
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Turning the mattress ??!! ? ? . Good to hear you got quite a lot of jobs done and dinner sounds lovely.We like some spicy foods and stir fry but don’t have them anymore . We was talking earlier about how on a Saturday we would take our daughters out for the day, to amusement parks, castles, to London for a mooch , seems sad that we won’t be able to do that for quite some time and I wonder if girls will have left home before we can go again, though I wouldn’t change having mum here . Let’s hope this is the start of more breaks for you, and you get some quality time with hubby . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 x It was good to get some jobs done in one go rather than bits here and there before/after going to mums. It was also nice to sit at table and talk to hubby during dinner as we usually eat on trays on sofas with mum. Although poor hubby is really stressed about work at moment so it wasn't really happy talk, but at least we got to talk about it for a change and we did enjoy dinner. He was happy to have me to himself and not upset for a change.
Not sure how long carers will keep coming for but hope we can continue ? Day centre rang yesterday to chat about mums reason for missing wednesday as I'd not spoke to manager when rang. She said they're still open at moment while they can and hopefully will see mum next week but will let me know if closing.
I read on our local community page a few shops in town are closing for a while because of virus, the buses are going to saturday service from monday, a lot of local tourist things are closing, the theatre and some cinemas are closing, shops are doing reduced hours, so things are going to seem very different for quite a while.
Its such a shame about you, hubby and your girls not being able to go for days out, ? lots of things have to get missed out don't they when someone we love has dementia and needs help. x We used to go to seaside for day, parks, stately homes, sometimes with mum and sometimes without but the last few years they've got less and less and not done anything like that for ages.With this virus about now lots of people will be in same boat.
Its weird to think about, its mother in laws birthday at end of month and we've already got her present sorted but its my sister and mum s birthday next month and I suddenly thought yesterday what am I going to get them for birthdays, at least half the shops will be closed and I read a notice saying Amazon are switching to household and medical supplies in April so can't even order things off there. No doubt deliveries will be affected soon due to staff shortages. I ordered some colouring books for mum the other day and delivery was much longer than usual. I better start thinking what to get them and try organise it this week.
Just another thing for us to try deal with changing our lives x
Hope you have are feeling better today and your chest and breathing is okay ?Take care x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
I have no idea if our carer will be back , she is self isolating as her children were showing symptoms . I’m not too worried about that but then I have hubby home (been laid off weds) so more of us to help , surprised day centre’s still open, I prob won’t send mum anymore as fil is in the vulnerable group , he is quite poorly already so can’t risk him getting it . Hope your carers and day centre carry on. My daughter was going to have driving lessons for her 17th birthday , we will postpone that but lots of things will change , it’s not life as we know it . Can you make something for mum as you sound quite creative and crafty ? Or make her a voucher for a massage, manicure, pedicure or the like ? Failing that an iou until things get back to normal . Have a good day . We have the serious huff and puff,staring out the window , cold shoulder mood today ! It’s going to be a long day ! ;)
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Oh dear shame mum is in huff and puff mood ? Hope doen't get tou doen too much and you're feeling bi better today. Hope hubby is ok after being laid off hope you'll be ok, is it for certain time ? This blasted virus is really mucking things up
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Hubby doesn’t know yet , we will be ok thank you :) . Mum a bit better and I’m feeling better thank you . How has your day been so far ?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
After years of eating off lap, when I met OH we decided to eat at the table and talk - I think a lot of people have got out of the habit or are unable to due to other factors as you say when you at your Mum’s. So glad you were able to chat over dinner. Sorry to hear that hubby is stressed due to work.
you say the buses are going to go to Saturday service. Will that make it even more difficult to get to your Mum’s? Based on the news this evening even more places will be closing their doors now. Dementia was already isolating before for so many folk on here but now even more so. One of our local garden centres is just so set up for the ‘care home’ outings for tea and cake and people like me taking Mum out for a few hours. So I hope day care can continue for a while to prevent that isolation for so many people.
Glad that you are feeling better @Woo2
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Glad you're feeling bit better and mums mood improved a bit @Woo2 x Hope it keeps improving X Hope things work out on hubbys work front too, jobs are such a worry at moment X
Luckily when I checked timetables buses on Saturday service aren't too much different to weekdays at the time I go @Bikerbeth slightly less regular but the two buses I usually catch are only few minutes different. There is talk they could go to Sunday service, or one an hour though which would make me later to mums on a morning and cause problems with matching up one bus to other. They are struggling with staffing with people self isolating so they aren't sure how long saturday service will work for.
Mum rung about 5 to 11 tonight asking if I'd seen tele tonight and said that goverment has now said we cant go out, nobodys to go to work and everythings to shut and she has no food and there'll be no power cos nobodys working. She's obviously watched the news tonight and not totally understood it, so I tried to reassure her that supermarkets are still open just not as long, goverment are asking most people to work from home but some people will still go out to work, bars and restaurant are shut and some none essential shops will close and they dont want people going out if dont need to but we still can if need to. She was quite panicky but I told her we'd go tomorrow and not to worry about it tonight, she said she was going to bed so I hope she gets some sleep and doesn't lay awake worrying about it.
We're supposed to go supermarket for weekly shop tomorrow and from what I've seen and heard this week there isn't going to be much to actually buy so I am actually really worried, but I didn't want to pass that on to mum. We called tonight to get mothers day flowers for MIL and hubby had a look round and loads of the aisles were completely bare, I'm hoping they'll be restocked a bit over night and by time we go late morning there'll be something left but I'm worried there won't be . Mum only usually eats same few things which we buy fresh each week and all those shelves/fridges were empty so not sure what we will do tomorrow. Mum suggested we go to her other house to get the food from there if there was any left in there. Bless her, If she still had another house that would be quite handy but of course she hasn't that's just her mixed up memories.
She has been asking on and off all day today Is this my house? Is this my only house? Is there where I live not just for this week but all the time? Have I been here long? She said last night when she went to bed she thought this wasn't her address and she decided she was going to walk to end of street in morning to check if it sign said her street name but this morning she didn't go cos she asked me instead.
Mums been quite but confused again today , she told me she didn't have a mum when one of the mothers day ads came on and then asked what year she died so I said 1974. Mum said thats a long time ago, I said yes 45 years. Mum said But all her furniture is still in the house, I know cos I've been in fact I thought mum was still there but realised she'd died but he house still has all her stuff in it, I've been in it I've still got key. She keeps telling me this, its seems a really strong idea she has but obviously isn't true but she can't see it doesn't make sense that her furniture would still be in house from 45 years ago.
She hasn't really known I was me most of day, she's kept saying our Andie ant been and also telling me our Andie will go mad when she sees I've been using her colouring book cos we've been colouring today. She asked me if I'd take her to supermarket tomorrow cos she's got no one to take her unless our Andie finally turns up but she doesn't think she will bother. I must say this our Andie sounds a right so and so, never visits her mum, and gets mad if people use her colouring book, I'd never do that.
I went to loo about 5 and when I came back mum had address book out, she said where do you live Andrea? I said my address, I can't find you in here I'm sure I have you in here. I said what name are you looking for? Andrea ____ so I told her what letter it would be under in book and she looked and read out mine and hubbys names and our address and said oh here you are. Are you married to----? and I said yes. Then she started looking again and I asked who she was looking for this time? Our Andie but I can't find her, surely I'd have her in here. What name are you looking for? Andrea --- , I said you just found that under - , she looked and said Oh yes and read out andrea and ---- at -----. It didn't seem at all odd to her that me and our Andie had same name, same husbands name and same address!
After dinner I was taking my glass away and she said you can take mine and I made the old joke which we often say what did your last slave die of cos it wasn't boredom, mum said well I am your mum you have to look after me. Brilliant I thought she knows who I am, but no because then she said, I should tell our Andie that. So I wasn't me then I must have been that third daughter with same name as our Andie again.
So been a bit of a confusing and tiring day but apart from the call tonight mum has at least been quite calm.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
It’s really nice to sit and talk over dinner . Thank you both,feeling better . I would be surprised if you get much of what you want today. Seems odd doesn’t it that mum thinks there are two people in her life that have the same name , hubby and address , just shows the damage this horrible disease does . Hope today is ok for you. X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Oh dear not a good day at all so far. Mums got a cold and she still doesn't know who I am.
Mum rang this morning thinking I'd rung her while she was in kitchen making cuppa but it was my sister, she sounded bit sleepy and not with it but often isn't first thing but didn't stay on long as wanted to be free for sis ringing back. Sis said she sounded ok on phone to her but only managed ten minutes chat before went to go in shower etc. She doesn't chat long on phone nowadays though.
She looked a bit tired when we went to hers this morning but didn't say anything about feeling poorly but she was busy telling us this story about going to a party with my uncle years ago and asking this lad to get her some money out and she never got her card back and she needed it now cos her pension goes in it so what is she going to do. We showed her proper card and said it was fine.
We decided not to take mum to supermarket as we were quite worried about shelves being empty and place being busy and upsetting mum. Its hard enough shopping with mum anyway and she was worried there'd be nothing there and fretting before we went today.
Glad we didn't take her as lots of normal things we get not there and we had to try think up other meal ideas with what there was. Lots of mums usual stuff wasn't there so I'm gonna have to be creative what make and try to convince her to eat.
When we got back and were putting her shopping away she kept doing little coughs and then said she wasn't coming to our house cos she's got a cold and not had much sleep. I don't know if its a cold or coronavirus. Think probably cold as she is snuffly but either way we're worried what to do now. She is constantly doing little huh huh coughs and has blown her nose a couple of times. Mums not got a thermometer here, think we have at home so will look for it later but don't know if she's got temperature. She did keep drinking and sucking mints yesterday so don't know if that was a sore throat before cough started. She had bit of neck and back ache yesterday but her neck is often sore and she had been slouching so put back ache down to that, she didn't mention any other aches and pains. She often has headaches but didn't mention one yesterday or today, so not sure if symptoms same as virus but hard to tell as what she thinks and says changes often. She didn't even mention cold earlier but that could have been because talking about bank card and supermarket.
Not sure what we're going to do now, sis said its prob a cold when I text her and we should be able to tell by end of weekend so keep away from people till then and see how goes.
Mum said she'd be ok on her own and we could go home. I said its ok I'll stay and give you tablets and make your dinner. She said she didn't need any tablets and could make her own dinner. She was going to have some lunch and go lay down cos not had much sleep so I should go. I told her she can lay down and I'd read a magazine I didn't mind and I'd do her dinner later. She said I didn't need me to stay cos she cooks everyday and anyway our Andie can come. So I'm not me again.
Well hubby panicked a bit about leaving her on own thinking someone else would come when there is nobody and he said this is Andie, she's here. Mum said no she's not, that's not our Andie, you two go and our Andie will come.
That set off a bit of a saga of who we were, where Andie is, with mum ringing my house, my sister and my mobile for proof and her getting quite het up. Eventually she calmed down a bit and I sort of got her to accept that although it didn't seem right to her I am her daughter and love her lots and want to look after her. She said I'm sorry. I told her no need to be sorry we knew she wasn't trying to upset us its just hard for her to understand which isn't her fault. We love her and we're only trying look after her, not hurt or upset her. She settled down then and hubby went home with our shopping and mum and I had lunch.
She was ok with lunch but still confused and started asking questions about 'friend' and friends hubby and saying she thought my hubby was him and I was a friend. Then she read a bit in the paper that reminded her of me and she started telling me things about our Andie and saying but you say you're her so you probably know that.
She's just had another go at saying I can go home and she'll make her own dinner later cos she was going to lie down but after couple of goes I managed to convince her its ok to go lie down and I'll stay in room and read or colour.
She kept doing little coughs so after ten minutes she came back in room and is now lolling on sofa a bit more sat up and trying nod there, I'm going to have to be really quiet so don't disturb her, I hope she is ok and gets some sleep. I also hope this is just a cold and goes soon as I really don't know how going to manage.
 
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Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
It sounds like my symptoms , neck and back ache specifically but headache and a little dry cough , I feel just like when I had a cold after Christmas , my temp got up to 36.6 which is fine . I hope mum just has a cold. I said to hubby , we all had this after Xmas how do we know it wasn’t coronavirus and as we are healthy we just got over it . I wouldn’t worry too much , easier said than done I know but there is little you can do to change it . Hopefully mum feels better soon and it passes quickly . I am desperate for a potato , we haven’t been able to get any or veg in 10 days . Hoping that everyone has got what they need now and I can get some , Mum isn't fussy but it’s getting harder as she gets constipated very easily .... good job I have a few prunes . ? . A sleep might do Mum some good so fingers crossed she gets some . X
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Sorry your mum is poorly @annielou. It probably is 'just' a cold, but even that can make you feel rotten and in your mum's case make her feel more confused. I guess you need to keep an eye out over the next couple of days in case the symptoms develop. In the mean time {{{hugs}}} to you both.
@Woo2, you can have a virtual potato from me. I bought some last weekend on my grocery order, thinking I was getting a packet of small potatoes. I ended up with a large pack of baking potatoes. They worked fine in the curry I was making and my husband used two more in a soup but we've still got some left. I would do baked potatoes, but he doesn't like those. Think it might be pie and mash instead.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 @Sarasa xx
mum nodded off for bout half hour and was still coughing a bit when woke up so I gave her a throat sweet to suck which seemed to help and she's not been too bad last couple of hours. Still very confused who I am though but calm so not too bad.
It would be nice if thats last we see and hear of it but I think colds do that at times, you're ok for few hours and then it comes back at night time, so fingers crossed she's ok X
Are you feeling ok now Woo2? Do you think yours was cold?
Hope you find some potatoes, the only ones we could get in tesco was in prepared veg section they had ones with herb or garlic butter or ready for boiling but luckily hubby found some in coop. ?Good luck x
Thanks for the hugs ?? here's some back xx
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
I am a better thank you, still the odd cough and headache,feels like a cold . Hubby won’t let me out of house and he won’t go so we will be making do with what we have . Hopefully the potato’s he planted today grow soon ? . Glad mum has been calm and day not been too bad . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Not sure if should contact care agency and tell them mum was bit snuffly at weekend. She had bit of cough n bit sniffy on saturday but by mid afternoon was ok for rest of day. Yesterday she said was a bit stuffed up so took paracetomols was ok most of day till evening wen had bit snuffly head but hasn't mentioned it and sounds fine today. I think it was probably just a snuffly cold or maybe a bit of hayfever as my sister sent flowers and they have been irritating me a bit too.
 

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