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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Up the Creek

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
East Anglia
@annielou , my condolences to you and your family too. I know how passionate you have been to support your mum. It was this time last year that my mum had her diagnosis and I spent hours reading your thread to try and understand what i might be faced with. I have followed it ever since and have been absorbed in your story. Your mum is at peace and I hope that over the coming months you will be able to find some relief too.


Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
Lytham St Annes
Oh Andrea.....I am so very sorry for the loss of your lovely lovely mum.....

You were so brave and loving to her right upto the very end......take care of yourself now with your husband and family, but please take comfort in the fact that you were there with your Mum when she needed you and beyond.

I honestly believe your Mum will have felt you with her, and agree she is now at peace and with her Mum free from her suffering, the fact that you were able to spend all this time with her recently and at the final moment will give you comfort in time...it really will....... I’m so glad you were able to do that.

But for now, grieve for your Mum and give yourself time, time to learn to adapt and live without her.....it’s very hard to do and takes time, I speak from experience, but you will get there....lots of hugs and thinking of you X


Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
South East
You were just simply amazing @annielou patient , caring and thoughtful , compassionate and loving to your smashing mum , you and your lovely hubby did your absolute best for her all the time . Be so proud of yourself . Big hugs 🤗 🤗❤️


Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
@annielou I'm so sorry for your loss. You have been such a fantastic daughter to your mum right to the end, I know I could not manage the same devotion myself. Thinking of you at this difficult time.


Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
What a wonderful daughter you have been and so brave, your mum would be very proud of you. My sincere condolences. x


Registered User
Oct 9, 2019
I'm so very sorry @annielou. You never faltered in your love for , and care of, your Mum. We should all be so lucky to have a daughter like you. Along with the utter sadness I hope you find some relief as you have been carrying a heavy load for a very long time.

With you in thought



Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
Andrea, if, under similar circumstances my daughter cared and looked after me half as well as you have done your Mum, I would be proud of her. Crikey, you’re not my daughter but following your posts I’ve been proud of you, how you have supported your Mum through everything and especially these last few difficult weeks.
I know you hoped that moving into residential care was going to give your Mum some peaceful years but sadly this didn’t happen. I’m sure you are still thinking “What if I had been able to look after her at home for longer?”, well her dementia pushed her to go wandering, meaning a hospital stay was needed and the downward spiral from there. There was nothing you could have done to prevent that chain of events or possibly an even more traumatic outcome with major injury to her, so please be gentle with yourself. In the end Mum was cared for in what sounded a true “Care Home” with thoughtful and understanding staff both to you and Mum.
It will take some time to get your head around events and accept what has happened. My one piece of advice, that I found helped me after the deaths of those I loved, is to find a small “positive” aspect of what has happened and hold on to that thought. It sounds as though your Mum knew you were there with her to the last, holding your hand and your presence meant a great deal to her. That, to me, would be a little inner glow that you can nurture and remember in the coming months and years.
I think everyone on the board has followed your struggles with Mum’s dementia and admired your love and compassion, well done, love! The outcome isn’t what we all wished for you but sadly we are all aware of dementia’s reality.
Keeping you in my thoughts,


Registered User
Apr 25, 2020
Many condolences @annielou Yours was one of the first threads I read on joining TP, and I have followed it ever since. Your love and support for your mum has been steadfast and true, and I hope you can take some comfort from that in the days to come. Take care,


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Ive just found your update.

You have been amazing with your mum. Im so sorry that it has come to this, but I am glad you could be with her so much at the end and I am so glad that your mum knew you again so that you could comfort her.

Your mum is at peace now. Please be at peace yourself, knowing that you did all that you could - and more

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I`m so sorry to read your news @annielou. The end of a long and painful time.

I hope it will be some consolation for you to know you did everything you could to help your mum. She is at rest now and it is time for you to find some peace.


Registered User
Jul 16, 2016
I'm so sorry @annielou, I'm sending you and your family so much love.
I think that you have been absolutely amazing, you have done everything in your power to help, protect & care for your lovely Mum. Please be easy on yourself and remember that your Mum was so proud of you and everything you did. ❤


Registered User
May 22, 2020
im so sorry @annielou , your post was very moving and brave, showing your amazing love for your lovely mum and your strength. God bless you both.