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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
I think you make a good point there yourself @annielou. You are still in limbo land; so maybe as nothing is finalised yet it may be the reason your mind is not settled yet. Perhaps you can’t move forward until you know that your Mum is settled permanently somewhere that you are (relatively) happy with. 🤗🤗🤗
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
501
I would agree, you can’t start moving forward until you have definite agreement that mum will remain in the home.
All I would suggest is that you use these weeks to rest and recover your physical strength.
Have a good weekend
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Hope there is some news soon 🤞 It is very unsettling as as much as we suspect there is no way they will say Mum is safe to return home , there is always that small chance until a decision is made. You are doing Fab , give yourself time .🤗
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Hope there is some news soon 🤞 It is very unsettling as as much as we suspect there is no way they will say Mum is safe to return home , there is always that small chance until a decision is made. You are doing Fab , give yourself time .🤗
Thanks x yep always a bit of uncertainty if they'll change their mind about full time care or where she is
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Poor mum has got a stinker of a cold. I've been to CH to drop her goody bag off this morning and they asked if I could hang on a minute and nurse came down to see me at the door. He said Mum was upstairs and had started with cold yesterday but it had got lot worse today. He said he doesn't think it's covid, mum hasn't got a cough or a temperature, he thinks just a cold but a bad one, you can hear it when she talks. He said he's keeping an eye on her and won't take any chances but thinks its just a cold, he said there's a few were starting with it. I suppose it is the time of year for colds especially now the weathers changed so I hope that's all it is and she doesn't have it long.
He said he'd just done her obs again and she doesn't have a temperature, her blood pressure is a bit high but it has been before so he doesn't think it's to do with this. Mums blood pressure has usually been quite high for last few years, so I told him It does tend to be on high side. He agreed and said they'll keep monitoring it but didn't think it was anything just a cold, but a stinker
He said mum had told him earlier I think I'm dying and he'd said No that's man flu and you've not got that. I said mum can be a bit up and down when she's not well sometimes she'll be all I'm ok I'll ignore it and carry on one minute and then she'll be saying Oh I'm dying the next. He said he'd just been with her and this time she said Have I died? and he joked Yep we've been through yer bag and everything but you've got nowt. I asked if it made her laugh, and he said Oh yeah, we get on great. Which was nice to hear and he sounded like he meant it. I'm glad he's joking with her cos mum likes a laugh and that's what I'd try to do with mum and it's good she still laughed even when she's not feeling well.
He said she wouldn't take her meds or anything this morning but they'd just took her up a cup of tea so hopefully she'll try something now. He said he'd keep an eye on her and ring me if she got worse, he'd not take any chances.
I almost said try to get her to drink plenty and give her some paracetomol but as he's a nurse and does it for a job I thought he'll know better than me and don't want him thinking I'm telling him his job lol.
I told him I'd just brought her some magazines and another puzzle book so they might keep her occupied a bit and he sed oh yeah that’ll give her something to do.
So fingers crossed it is just a cold and mum gets over it soon🤞 It's such a shame as mum's had a good week and been joining in and settling more and now she's not feeling well and won't be mixing at moment while she's got cold. I hope it doesn't set her back with settling in and upset her again. She does get more confused when she's not well and grumpier so that's a shame for mum and the staff.
I hope she doesn't get any worse and feels better soon and I really really hope it is just a cold 🤞
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,044
If it's the cold I had a few weeks ago @annielou it isn't nice and I felt washed out for several weeks after the main symptoms had disappeared. It certainly wasn't Covid as I had a really runny nose. It sounds like the nurse and the rest of the care home are on the ball about caring for your mum, and she is much better there than she would have been at home.
I hope you have a best interests meeting or what ever other meeting you need to confirm that your mum will be staying there. It sounds the right place for her. When you know that you'll be able to start moving forward with your own life.

Edited to correct my bizarre spelling of nose!
 
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annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Thanks @Sarasa x I hope you're feeling better now 🤗
The nurse I saw today seemed very nice and with it and I'm sure they are keeping a good eye on mum and will look after her well. At home when she wasn't well mum would say she was better off on her own and didn't want company, or didn't want us to catch it so she would tell us to stay at home, or try to send us home, which could be awkward while she's had alzheimers and needed me to give her tablets and make her something to eat as it's not easy for me to go back and forth to mums multiple times a day. Where as in the care home the staff will be available and keep popping in to check on her and get her drinks and food. They're also probably a lot better than me at knowing when things are worse than a normal cold, especially the nurse. I'm just hoping that it is just a cold and doesn't cause her any trouble.
Mum has been in CH 5 weeks already so I hope the best interest meeting will be soon though we've not heard when yet and neither had CH when sis last spoke to deputy manager. Mum went in hospital on 12th August then to CH on 27th August so I think the 6 weeks nhs were paying for in CH for her to be assessed should end on 7th October. I've a feeling it's going to be a bit longer though as nothing seems to be working to a very quick time frame at moment.
 
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anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
598
I hope your mum soon gets over her cold @annielou . It's very frustrating that decisions seem to take a long time, when all you want is for your mum to be in a settled place so you can move forward. Hoping it won't be too much longer before the meeting.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Thanks @anxious annie x me too, I'm hoping it is just a cold, nurse sounded pretty sure it was yesterday so fingers crossed. 🤞 Also hoping won't be too long before we hear something bout meeting. 🤞Things do seem to move slow don't they x
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
787
Lytham St Annes
I think you’ll hear pretty soon about the meeting, because of the funding and who will be paying the bill!!!

It’s a shame your Mum has a bad cold, it’s going around though, I hope she continues to settle and I do think she will accept that she is staying there and won’t keep asking when she is going home.

Keeping her supplied with her books, magazines and goodies as you are is lovely for your Mum........I would put in a little card with each supply, just to simply say who they are from, that your thinking of her, and will be visiting as soon as it’s allowed....staff will read it to her I’m sure.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Thanks @DianeW x I hope so, the waiting is hard for us. I think mum is settling in more as time goes on and all the staff sis or I have seen or spoken to do seem to care and are getting to know mum so I think it is a good place.
My sister rang CH this morning to see how mum is and he said they had quite a bit of ‘I’m dying’ yesterday but she was much brighter today and she’d wanted to go downstairs. He went to take phone to mum for quick chat and my sister said she could hear mum in background and said mum sounded jovial. Mum told sis her cold had gone when she asked her about it. Sis told mum she still sounded snotty and mum said Oh thanks and laughed so it seems like she was in a good mood and it wasn’t bothering her then but it’s not completely gone yet. Fingers crossed it keeps improving and isn’t one of those coming and going ones 🤞
Its nice to hear mum is feeling quite a bit better today and she wanted to go back downstairs and mix rather than stay on her own, it makes me think she likes the company there which is what we hoped for.
I’m planning on taking mum a goody bag of sweets crisps magazines etc every week whether I can visit or not, to keep mum supplied with goodys and hopefully let her know I’m still thinking of her. I’ve been popping a little notecard in like you ssy, mentioning what sent, telling her if wants anything to ask staff and I’ll get it, Saying I love her lots and I’ll see her soon. It helps me feel a bit like I’m still doing something for her and I hope she likes receiving them. She seemed pleased when I told her the saturday I saw her that I’d given them another goody bag for her and told her what I’d taken so I think so.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
787
Lytham St Annes
Good that her cold is a bit better, it’s sometimes like that with a cold I think, comes and goes a bit.....

She does really sound like she is settled and it really is the best place for her, I am sure the staff do like her a lot and know you’ve had that impression.

Just get the placement made permanent now and then you can get on with clearing out her bungalow and giving notice to everyone that needs it.......busy time ahead, but as hard as it is you can at least do it in the knowledge that Mum is as settled as she can be.

I can imagine the staff enjoy chatting to her a lot, as do some of the residents...I’m so pleased for her.

She’s never going to be back to her normal self or free from this dreadful disease, but she seems happy and she has the care of ALL the staff, not just little old you 😀

As I’ve said before you did a wonderful job of caring for your Mum in good and bad times and always put her first, you really can take comfort in that and know that nobody could have done more, the time came when only a care home could help your Mum....and that’s been a really positive transition considering the difficulties with this blasted Covid!

Have a nice day, I have just made a lovely potato salad to have with chicken Kiev for tea......then doing nothing but chill out....
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,044
Years ago,well before I knew her and well, well ,before dementia struck my mother in law called my husband Roo, which was the name of the dog. That was probably one of the reasons the family took a long time to realise there was something more going on than general scattiness.
@annielou, I think @DianeW is talking a lot of sense as always.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Glad to hear that your Mum was sounding better today and hope she gets rid of the cold quickly. From all you have written about the Care Home I will be asking you for the details soon and moving up your way so my Mum can join yours :D
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Thanks for replies xxxxx
Thank you @DianeW 🤗 Hopefully we'll hear soon. I hope you enjoyed your kiev and potatoe salad x
@Bikerbeth it has been good so far, apart from no visiting at moment. 🤞Come be Yorkshirebeth lol
@JoanneH @Sarasa @Starting on a journey
Mum would often go through a list of names, boys and girls, for as long as I can remember pre dementia. At school my sister went before me so some teachers called me her name rather than mine and for some reason people also used to also mix my name up with amanda so I grew up joking I answer to anything. It didn't prepare me for when with dementia mum mixed me up with other people and didn't recognise me though.
 

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