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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,652
South East
Oh gosh @annielou , had been thinking of you and hoping things were not too bad . I don’t hold out much hope you will be able to calm her , I do agree ring 999 if you cannot calm her or she threatens to walk out , they can record it and honestly they deal with it brilliantly . Did you manage to get a sample ? Wonder if mum has any kind of infection as it’s ramped up in last few days . Sending you masses of hugs and strength . Xx
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,692
Hi @annielou, I hope your mother hadn't gone out, or if she had you found her soon. I do think it's getting to the stage where you might need to ring 111. I too wonder about her having an infection or not drinking enough, both of which paramedics ought to identify.
Thinking of you all. I do think you need to tell SS you can't do this any more for all your sakes.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,637
Yorkshire
Gone old house from wen small. Woman rang Someone dropped her off hD found her cryin n sed she lived there. . She hsd fallen cut nose hand arm. I got police out. They came back mums goin put report in told us go a&e.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,652
South East
It seemed it was only a matter of time until she tried , I’m sorry she has hurt herself but so glad you have found her safe. You must be absolutely wrung out. X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,652
South East
Hopefully hospital will do blood /urine tests and can rule out infection . I think you may need to take the bull by the horns and take your mum to a home @annielou , Perhaps you and hubby could take her and say she is going to a nice hotel to recover from fall for a couple of weeks pampering requested by Dr . Sending more hugs , thinking of you all. 🤗 X
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,692
Sorry so that happened @annielou, but glad your mum was found quickly and is safe. Are you at a and e now?
You must feel shattered, but this is not your fault, it's the result of this vile disease.
Edited to say I agree with @Woo2. Is there anyway you can get an emergency placement, just so your mum can be properly assessed.
 

charliejack

Registered User
Dec 13, 2019
26
I'm so sorry this has happened.. similar thing happened to my hubby's mom in June , she had been wandering looking for an old home she had lived in. Social services assessed her and she went into a home for respite for 2 weeks but she has stayed in so must have done further assessments . Hopefully you and your mom can get the help you need x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
405
Thank goodness she’s ok.
I could use some very choice words to describe her social worker.Surely now they will help her.
I hope you and hubby are as ok as can be.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,637
Yorkshire
Sorry for garbled posts I'll try read messages better later but thank you xxx
Mum has been kept in overnight, not sure whats going to happen next.
Mum has grazed cut hands a cut and graze on her arm, slight grazes on her knees and has scuffed the skin off her nose down most of front of it and a graze on her forehead, they're superficial wounds but didn't look nice and she said they hurt especially her nose. She's scraped her glasses and before I left her a bruise was coming out on her nose where glasses had been. They took her bloods and urine sample, urine was fine but her blood showed infection markers slightly raised which could indicate an infection. Her ecg and bp were fine but because of her not knowing what happened, her confusion and history with alzheimers they didn't think she was safe to go home and were going to admit her to AMU tonight. She had to have a covid test which she didn't like, can't say I blame her it looked awful. Mum said she didn't want to stay in and was bit upset, I kept saying they just want to check if you have any infections cos nobody saw what happened and if you haven't they'll let you out. Its nearly morning now anyway. They said I couldn't go with her to ward so once they came with chair I had to say bye there. She didn't want to go in chair was a bit scared of it but I told her it was long way to walk through hospital so that would save her legs which were tired as we'd walked long way round hospital already. She looked like a scared child sat in the wheelchair being wheeled off it was awful. I don't even know what happens next as they don't say much, we didn't even know she was going to be staying in till bout 25 to 1 and we'd been there since 9.
When I got to mums her house was locked up and her shoes gone and she was nowhere to be seen. I asked neighbour if seen her and called 999. I was giving them mums details and places she might go and they had just sent cars to set off to our old house I thought might go to, and her mums house, when I thought of telling them house we lived in till I was 15, just as I was telling her my sister text me with same idea, I was just telling hubby to go look when my mobile went, hubby answered as I was on mums landline to police. A woman who lived on that street we'd just thought of said she had my mum with her, she looked like she had falle,n she'd cuts on her hand and face and bumped her head and was really confused. I told police handler and she sent car there and ordered ambulance and hubby and I went over.
I'm not sure why mum had gone back to our childhood home as it's not the one she usually mentions, but I think she may have set off to the house she keeps remembering but when she went to the end of her street and set off up the road she would have seen an opening a bit further up and across the road that lead over a bit of recreation ground that was a short cut we used to use on our way home from junior school which is up the road from mums current house, so I think it looked familiar and she went that way. The people on the street said a car had dropped mum off and said they'd found her crying and looking lost and mum'd said she lived on that street. She told them she'd been to doctors and that she lived there but couldn't find house. It does look bit different as think was 1988 we left there. A woman had come out and got mum a chair and for some reason, don't know why but I'm glad she did, mum had taken her address book with her. The woman asked if she had any family and found out had daughter Andrea so they found my number in her book and rung me. Another woman on street thought she recognised mum from passing her on mums road while walking dog. There were quite a few people out on street round her and police had got there a minute before us. Mum wasn't sure what was going on bless her.
The police told us to take mum back to hers and they'd see us there. When we got back they'd cancelled ambulance but when saw her bit more and talked to us a bit they called it back, they were told it could be few hours as non emergency so they said it would be quicker for us to take her so after speaking with police for while we did. At first the police were going to just come check she was safe and that would be it but I was talking to one policeman who said his dad had dementia so he understood a bit. I told him bit bout how things have been this week and what SS have said so he said he would fill in a concern form for SS. He told me to make sure to tell SS that mum had been picked up by someone in a car and dropped off, that even though they were actually trying to help mum, that is another safety issue as mum got in a car with strangers. He said take mum to a&e make sure she is ok and they will also have record of mum being hurt. He said if mum every goes out again to call and not be afraid to bother them, they treat it as a high priority and the sooner they are out looking the better it is. He was very nice and understanding.
I'd asked mums neighbour if she had seen mum when we'd got to mums to find it locked and while we were reporting mum to police she had talked to her daughter who works at supermarket nearby that we used to walk to pre covid and her daughter had been looking round there in case mum had gone down that way, which was lovely of them. We let her know mum had been found and later she rang to say that people on street would probably be asking and talking bout it and she wanted to let me know she wouldn't say anything which was nice.The people who rang and sat with mum on our old street were really kind and the nurses and drs who have seen mum today have been good with mum and asked lots about her alzheimers and what happened. Although they didn't actually tell us very much while there and I'm now wondering what happens next. I asked nurse who was taking mum to ward if I could ring in morning to see how she is and what happening and the nurse said yes and told me to ask for AMU but they do move people about as beds come up so if she's moved they will be able to tell me where.
I kept worrying mum would go out alone and was dreading it happening and now she has and she's hurt herself and we're all lucky it wasn't worse, and now she's in hospital alone and scared and I don't know whats going to happen next.
 
Last edited:

Hayley JS

Registered User
Feb 20, 2020
15
Annielou, I am so sorry to read your latest post, my heart goes out to you, you must be absolutely worn out by all this. I’ve had very little dealings with SS myself, but every time I read how useless your mums have been my blood boils!🤬

I’m no expert, but when my mum’s crisis came, which was a similar scenario to your mum’s, the hospital was unable to discharge her unless I could confirm she would be safe at home. Which I couldn’t and refused to do. Like you I had been run ragged for years and desperately seeking help for someone who refused to take it. Mum was also abusing alcohol at this point which they immediately picked up on and started treating. She was kept on a locked ward and their own hospital social worker was appointed. They helped work with mum to get her into a care home. Unfortunately, as mum had broken her arm the CH’s wouldn’t take her until it healed so she was in hospital for 5 weeks which was a pretty grim time for all of us, hospital staff included as mum was hard for them to handle. They had this awful sensor pad which shouted ‘A___ sit down’ every time she stood up as she wandered so much, I had to tell them to remove it as it scared the hell out of me never mind mum!

As you know, at this point your mum really needs 24hr care and that is only going to come through a CH. This is your crisis, sit back and let the system do its thing, which will hopefully also involve a bottom kicking for your mums SW

Breathe, relax, keep calm, carry on……..sending you best wishes x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,408
South coast
Dig your heels in and make sure that everyone knows that she is no longer safe at home. You have done everything possible - she has a door senser, you have arranged carers, you have tried to persuade her not to go out, but it is no longer enough. The desire to "go home" is too strong, now. The only way she can be kept safe now is a locked door. She needs a care home.

Please dont be tempted to downplay how bad it has got, or be bullied into taking her home

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,652
South East
Oh my word , how lucky that whoever gave mum a lift was a kind person , there are more kind that bad people but still it’s a worry . I’m glad she is in hospital so they can thoroughly check her over and once medically fit , decide next steps . I’m sure there will be a best interest meeting , I would now tell them that you cannot keep your mum safe any longer and they have the duty of care to her , it should be easier to get her in to a home straight from the hospital , this is what happened to my friend , she couldn’t look after her dad and told them so, they kept telling her when he would be sent home and she said well I won’t be there so who will look after him , they had a best interests meeting and decided he needed 24hr care and he went a few days later. You must be honest and tel them how bad it is and that mum needs 24 hr care ,they simply cannot leave her at home alone anymore and it’s not your responsibility to move in again . Hoping you can switch off a little and get some sleep , thinking of you 🤗 x

edited spelling errors .
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
405
I agree with everyone else, you can’t keep mum safe, it needs locked doors and a team to do it!
Thank goodness there are so many kind people in the world and your mum found them. The police report will show the social worker how serious it was.
I hope you sleep late and awake a little refreshed
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @annielou, a very traumatic day for all of you, Mum included. They normally have a social worker presence at the Hospital dealing with discharge in to care. They should assess Mum and contact Mum's assigned Social Worker. Your Mum does need 24 hour care now, the crisis incident that the Social Worker seemed so keen on having before taking action has now occurred. Your sister should contact the assigned Social Worker this morning and explain in detail what has happened (including the pick up by the stranger). Mum won't want to go into a care home, you can say to her it is until she gets better and keep repeating that. I would also push for your preferred home (I believe your sister did some research in to that). All the best and stay strong. I feel for you all.