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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
You are so right it is a hateful and vile disease that does not allow any relief to the sufferer.
I am so sorry that you have had a hard enough day without the phone call as well. I can fully understand why you cried afterwards. As the Carer it makes you feel so helpless where in reality you do an amazing job and please don’t forget that. Your poor Mum too, going round and round in those loops.
I just want to come and give you a great big hug and all I can do is send you some virtual ones.
I too hope that your Mum has now settled. I know it will be harder for you but try and get some rest.
🤗
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Thanks @Woo2 x I was trying be more positive as mums seemed less aggressive and calmer recently although still confused and calling when I’m home on evening but I was trying to be grateful things were a bit easier than some situations, but tonight I just felt so sad for her and so flipping angry at dementia. Bit of a silly post really though.
How did your mum do at DC today? And how are you feeling?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
Thanks @Woo2 x I was trying be more positive as mums seemed less aggressive and calmer recently although still confused and calling when I’m home on evening but I was trying to be grateful things were a bit easier than some situations, but tonight I just felt so sad for her and so flipping angry at dementia. Bit of a silly post really though.
How did your mum do at DC today? And how are you feeling?
Not a silly post at all
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Absolutely not a silly post ! It’s a brutally honest one and invaluable to others reading to see how life is at the coal face and to know they are not alone . You have helped me personally so much so please don't feel that way . 🤗 Xx
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Absolutely not a silly post ! It’s a brutally honest one and invaluable to others reading to see how life is at the coal face and to know they are not alone . You have helped me personally so much so please don't feel that way . 🤗 Xx

mum has a good time thanks . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
@Starting on a journey The lady from MC said she was going to go back to Dr who had suggested the memantine and get a prescription done for mum and call to let me know when it was ready. As mum was calmer and not really aggressive since the weekend after SW visit we were wondering whether to start mum on it when got it and thought I'd ask MC what she thought when rang to say prescription ready. Then we sort of forgot about it till my sister mentioned it yesterday and we realised they'd not rung back.
@Woo2 glad your mum had good time today. x Hope you are doing ok x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
435
I would push for the memantine; it may not help your mum, she may not be able to tolerate it, but if it does it could be very helpful. It made a significant difference to my mums behaviour
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
I would push for the memantine; it may not help your mum, she may not be able to tolerate it, but if it does it could be very helpful. It made a significant difference to my mums behaviour
[/QUOTE
mum too is on memantine , noticed a huge difference when she temporarily stopped it. Hope you get it and it helps 🤞
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Does it only help with aggression @Starting on a journey @Woo2 ? Mum was getting really angry and aggressive when MC suggested it as a help with that because we didn't think increased sertraline was having much effect, but she has been calmer that way since just after SW visit, just odd bits here and there and nowhere near scale she was at a few weeks ago. Don't know if increased sertraline kicked in or something else. Unfortunately she is still, like yesterday, so confused and sounds so sad and scared when she is sundowning and she is alone but I don't know if it helps with those feelings as MC were talking about trying it to help with the aggression.
I think they must have forgot about it as she also said she'd send me a leaflet about it and I haven't had one. I know they're really busy and things take a few days when go back to DR and currently a lot of them are working from home some of time which I think slows things down too so I didn't expect to hear for few days about prescription and then as mum seemed calmer I just forgot about it. We were late on the phone last time she rang, I think she should have finished for the day when she rang me so maybe she was rushing when we hung up. Not sure if should chase it up if only for the aggression part, as sis and I were wondering is that had settled a bit now.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,776
cornwall
Does it only help with aggression @Starting on a journey @Woo2 ? Mum was getting really angry and aggressive when MC suggested it as a help with that because we didn't think increased sertraline was having much effect, but she has been calmer that way since just after SW visit, just odd bits here and there and nowhere near scale she was at a few weeks ago. Don't know if increased sertraline kicked in or something else. Unfortunately she is still, like yesterday, so confused and sounds so sad and scared when she is sundowning and she is alone but I don't know if it helps with those feelings as MC were talking about trying it to help with the aggression.
I think they must have forgot about it as she also said she'd send me a leaflet about it and I haven't had one. I know they're really busy and things take a few days when go back to DR and currently a lot of them are working from home some of time which I think slows things down too so I didn't expect to hear for few days about prescription and then as mum seemed calmer I just forgot about it. We were late on the phone last time she rang, I think she should have finished for the day when she rang me so maybe she was rushing when we hung up. Not sure if should chase it up if only for the aggression part, as sis and I were wondering is that had settled a bit now.
Hi. Personally I would chase it up. It cannot hurt .
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,613
South coast
I believe memantine will help calm her down. It doesnt help the confusion (thats the dementia and nothing can help that), but its intended to improve things by making her feel more calm about everything.
I know that lots of people have said it helps. I would chase them up.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Yes def chase it up , mum is so much calmer , as @canary said it doesn’t help confusion , it just helps manage the behavious and symptoms I believe , I just know it makes a big difference to mum , a post on here about it recently received a lot of positive comments about Memantine . Think it was White rose . Put it in search bar if you get time , there are a few threads about it . Def can’t do any harm . X
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
435
Please do ask, I think it’s supposed to slow it down but it’s a great calming drug if they can take it. My mum was screaming at us, up in the night, complaining, delusions....now she is quiet and I can cope. I could not have coped otherwise. It’s no miracle drug and dosnt work for everyone but I would definitely try it
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,807
@annielou, nothing to add to what others have said as I have no experience of memantine, but it does sound worth a go. At the moment it sounds like your mum is edging closer to actually deciding to go and look for her mum or your dad, and if she does that I think keeping her at home will be tricky.
I hope today has been better, and you are having a relaxing afternoon.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Thanks @Starting on a journey @Sarasa xx
MC rang this afternoon and we talked about memantine again and are going to try mum on it. I just need to weigh mum tomorrow and let them know her current weight, then they'll get it signed by DR and sent to chemist.
I asked if it was just for the aggression and she said they use it to help with memory and it helps agitation and aggression. Mum hasn't really been getting aggressive lately but she is still agitated so hopefully it will help her feel less so.
I told MC mum is still confused and rang on night quite a lot since last spoke to her and she still got upset but not really aggressive for last couple of weeks, just odd bit like on saturday when mum wanted walk to her mums and didn't want us to take her cos thought I'd lied to her about who I was. I told MC it seemed like sertraline working better now as mum had been calmer aggression wise since just after SW weekend. She asked if we wanted to wait a few more week to see if that continued or start them now. I said if asked me that first week I might have said I'd wait few week as was much less aggressive, but I felt it could be creeping in a bit again. She was more worried and scared and upset and very confused rather than aggressive now, but there had been a couple bits of that, and she was anxious so if they thought it might help with that then it's worth trying the memantine now.
She was asking how things had been, I told her things had been better lately, my sister had been weekend before last and mum was ok with her while she was here. It did unsettle her a bit and she'd rung on the friday and sunday night upset but I expected that as it was a big change for mum and it was normal type of worries, just a bit more. I also told her carers had been last two weekends to do mums morning tablets which she'd been fine with and liked both carers who did it. It had worked well so far as by time we got there at lunchtime she was calmer and happier with seeing us than has been lately as weekends have been a bit of a flash point and she'd not always wanted us there but she'd been okay last couple of weekends. Mum had come to our house sat and sun this week, though she had got angry on saturday, but it was first time she'd been for a while and although she hadn't know who I was and wanted to go home when started sundowning in afternoon it was good she had wanted to come. She said we had to celebrate the little victories and I sounded a bit brighter.
I was trying to be brighter instead of crying on her like usual, I think it's the first call we've had for quite a while where I haven't cried on her. I told her I'm trying to be a bit more positive as mum has seemed less aggressive it meant it was easier for me to look after her as she wasn't angry and trying to send me away like before. Its hard to see mum so upset and angry and hard to be on receiving end of it and hard to persuade her to let me stay and look after her when she's like that. So because she's not been aggressive like that lately I'm trying to be positive about it, although she is still really confused and still gets upset and her memory is really bad now. It makes it hard to reassure and comfort her as she can't retain what you tell her so you tell her something to reassure her or calm her down and then a minute later she's forgot that and asks a similar thing again so it takes longer to settle her down when she's upset which is sad. I told her mum had rung me this morning confused and sounding like she did when she rang on a night and she's scared which is new.
I thought she was ringing to ask if I was going over today as we were late setting off cos of hubbys conference call over running, but she was ringing to ask me if I knew where she slept. She was worried she had slept in wrong place and shouldn't be there, and worried and confused a bout few other things. Mum doesn't usually ring on a morning and when she's asking questions and confused in the day her voice usually sounds quite normal but on a night when she's really confused and upset and scared she sounds like a scared little girl and this morning on phone she sounded the same. We're hoping the memantine will help with that. We're hoping to start mum on them this weekend and then MC will ring a week on Monday to see how doing and I've to ring before if any problems or worries or questions.
I'm wondering what time of day to give mum it as MC says it can be taken any time of day but should be same time everyday, they often suggest taking it before bed as it can make some people drowsy especially when first start. Bedtime would be hard for us as I'm not with mum on a night and if I give it her it after dinner before I leave and it does make her drowsy then she's on her own and I'm not there to monitor her and see if she's ok on it. So we're thinking of giving mum it in morning or in day so I'm with her to see how she is and if it does make her too sleepy in day, then to talk to them and maybe move it later on,. MC clinic says it can be whatever's best time for us if mum is ok with it as long as same time everyday.
I'm not sure if to add it to her morning sertraline tablets, or lunchtime galantamine, or in between those two, or after lunch I can't figure out what is best idea. If I add it in morning with sertraline that means I'll need to inform care agency as they'd have to give it on weekends. If I add it at lunchtime I usually do that unless mums at DC which currently she's not going to anyway and may not go back to. I've noticed if she has sertraline too close to her galantamine (less than an hour apart) she can feel a bit sick in afternoon. So I don't know if she takes memantine with one of others that would make her feel sick afterwards too. I'm a bit stuck and will need to work it out before weekend along with thinking what to tell mum for reason she has another tablet to take. 🤔
 
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Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
435
A very nice doctor told my mum that the memantine worked in the background and made all the other medicines work better!! Mum took this explanation and I refer to it if she asks but to be honest she hasn’t complained about any of her tablets for about 8 months which is a relief.