1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    #1 nae sporran, Feb 2, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016
    Hope nobody minds if I ramble on about our stressful lunch outing.

    We had a very nice meal in a lovely Chinese restaurant run by a man OH has known for over 25 years.
    She got very flustered when she had to use the facilities and her knees locked up. They have no disabled facility. The more her daughter and I tried to help the more flustered she got, but got there eventually despite a wee accident. On the way out she felt she had to tell her friend that her first husband died, that was 28 years ago. The worst bit was I actually felt slightly annoyed at her for doing that, jealousy or something stupid, and embarrassed. After caring for her for 4 years and being on this forum long enough I should know better. :eek::eek:

    Sorry to offload on people who have much harder to deal with, it's just another reminder of how much dementia sufferers (the right term ?) go through and how much I have to learn in order to support her properly.

    Thanks for reading and all the best to everybody.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,761
    Female
    Dundee
    Ah what a shame. Whit a day indeed. No wonder youngest the need to offload here. I can totally understand how you felt. No matter how much you tell yourself it is the disease and not the person certain things can still hurt.

    I'm glad you were able to share here.

    Take care a here's tae a better day the morra! xx
     
  3. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    3,403
    Don't let it get you down rob, we all get annoyed about silly things . and all the time and experience won't stop the annoyance and occasional embarrassment.
    Glad the meal was good anyway.
     
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    Thanks Izzy. Thanks bemused.

    Hope you both had a better day.
     
  5. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Your only human and like most carers need to be super human some days! Its the small things that sucker punch you. Dont feel bad. Your doing your best and its enough. Xx quilty
     
  6. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,474
    London
    Hi Rob sorry you had such a stressful time it's the little things that get to us carers as someone else said we are only human you feel free to rant away I know how much you do for Chrystl
     
  7. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    #7 nae sporran, Feb 2, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016
    Thanks Nan. Thanks Quilty.
    Hope you are both ok.
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,718
    Kent
    However much we know it's thefault of illness and not the person with dementia, it never fails to hurt.

    My husband wanted to go home to his real wife nearly every night , when he was sundowning and he hadn't ever been married before.

    When we are stressed and careworn, it's not easy to take.

    TP is the one'll place you can share this kind of episode with people who have experienced similar themselves.
     
  9. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    That's quite sad Grannie G.
     
  10. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    501
    Scotland
    Ach NS dinna feel bad about being upset, it happens and is only natural. I know I have times when it doesn't bother me but another time I take things to heart. We do know "it's the dementia" but only human so feelings take over sometimes. Yer nae a bad chiel and don't you forget it.

    OH sometimes tells me his first wife (that's me) was a really great cook (we've been married for over 55 years) :eek:
     
  11. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    You have had a rough day. It is quite normal to feel as you did. I get furious with my husband at times but try to keep it in my mind. He looks for his wife referred to as "she", and sometimes I go around house with him trying to "find myself". Do have a glass of wine if you like it and get a few minutes break. Not easy either. I live in Ireland so a little bit of advice..... Don't touch Irish poitin (pronounced pucheen), tis lethal stuff I am told!!

    Yes am trying to cheer you up and I apologise for my wicked sense of humour!

    Keep posting. TP is a lifesaver for me.

    Aisling
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    Escaping to a country pub for a quick pint does help sometimes Aisling, but I might give the poitin a miss. :)
     
  13. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Sorry to read you had a stressful day rob xx you ramble as much as you like xx we all know how challenging some days can be ...sending you a virtual hug xxx
     
  14. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,564
    Male
    Bristol
    Thanks Lilac. I suppose you should take that as a compliment of sorts though. :)
     

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