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Where to turn for help and support

Rosiebelle

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
28
0
Sorry but I am feeling very down at the moment and have no one to talk to regarding my husband and Alzheimers. He has been diagnosed a few years but have no help or just someone to talk to about things.
We feel that now we are no use to people they don't want to know anymore or they find it hard to cope with.
Can anyone suggest anything?
 

Arthurgeorge

Registered User
Dec 16, 2020
43
0
I’m sorry you’re feeling down. This forum is a big support to many people and has lots of good advice both for practical problems and discussing feelings. You are not alone.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
11,896
0
Yorkshire
Hi @Rosiebelle
sorry you are feeling so down and alone ... it's good you came here to share with folk who understand

maybe call the Support line and have a chat with one of the advisors ... they are very approachable and will do what they can to help

It does sound as though you need support ... have you contacted your Local Authority Adult Services for an assessment of your husband's care needs to get a care package in place

Admiral Nurses are there to support carers .. give them a call

Keep posting with anything that's on your mind
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
777
0
Have you been put in touch with the Admiral Nurses who are there to support carers?

Are you wanting some time to yourself away from your husband? If so, there are sitting services run by organisations such as Age UK and, of course, paid carers can provide this service as well. I don’t think that the volunteer sitting services will deal with changing a person who is incontinent though. Day centres would also give you time off.

However, what I’m sensing is that you’re lonely because friends have drifted away. I’m afraid that this is quite a common situation and it’s very hurtful when you really need their companionship. There are dementia cafes where you could go with your husband and meet other carers. I know that they don’t appeal to everyone but if you are feeling the loss of friends you might make new ones there.
 

cumbria35

Registered User
Apr 24, 2017
85
0
Have you been put in touch with the Admiral Nurses who are there to support carers?

Are you wanting some time to yourself away from your husband? If so, there are sitting services run by organisations such as Age UK and, of course, paid carers can provide this service as well. I don’t think that the volunteer sitting services will deal with changing a person who is incontinent though. Day centres would also give you time off.

However, what I’m sensing is that you’re lonely because friends have drifted away. I’m afraid that this is quite a common situation and it’s very hurtful when you really need their companionship. There are dementia cafes where you could go with your husband and meet other carers. I know that they don’t appeal to everyone but if you are feeling the loss of friends you might make new ones there.
I found it very difficult to get support from anywhere, Age Uk told me they did not do sitting service and Alzheimers So either were too short of volunteers, Social Services were of no help, either were our local Dementia Dept, couldn’t even get visit from an Occupational Therapist and were asked what was it we wanted and we would have to pay for anything despite friends in other regions being helped with various devices. It all seems to depend in which area of the country you live in.
 

Julesed

New member
Jan 27, 2022
2
0
I am also finding it difficult to get help for my father. He was diagnosed 10 years ago with Alzheimer's and so far we have managed to keep him in his own home. I live 120 miles away from my father. My brother lives locally to my father but works full time as a lorry driver. We have a carer coming in everyday to get my father dressed showered and breakfast. We also have his lunch delivered to him everyday and have just employed a cleaner to come twice a week. So all his basis needs are taken care of.
The thing my father needs most is someone to spend a little time with him. My brother does what he can and visits almost every day and I go down to spend the day with him whenever I can but I also care for my 97 year old mother in law and childmind for my 3 year old granddaughter.
We did get my father into a day centre for a little while, (approximately 3 weeks) which he quite enjoyed. Tea dances, bingo etc. However, the transport which we organised to get him there and back said they could no long take him as my father kept trying to get off the bus at every stop thinking it was his home. They said they could not take the resonsibility of looking after him as there was only the bus driver and no other helper on the bus. This was due to cut backs. Subsquently my father has no transport and can no longer go to the day centre. So now he spends his days watching tv which he does not really understand.
We are at a loss at where to get help with socialising for my father.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
777
0
It would be expensive but you could engage a carer to accompany your father to and from the day centre. Perhaps the cleaner could do this and come back to clean your father’s house between the two journeys if the day centre is not too far away.

Alternatively, some charities (eg Age UK) provide sitting services. One of their volunteers might be prepared to accompany your father to and from the day centre. Or, if that’s not possible, s/he could just come to the house and spend time with your father.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
10,918
0
Southampton
maybe a befriending service could help. my husband goes to mens shed which have places all over the country. hes not far along so has progressed too much so i wonder if your father might be too far along. he loves it with the banter and talking to other men. he usually gets a taxi but have you got a dial-a-ride or volunteer car drivers that might take him.
 

Rosiebelle

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
28
0
Hi @Rosiebelle
sorry you are feeling so down and alone ... it's good you came here to share with folk who understand

maybe call the Support line and have a chat with one of the advisors ... they are very approachable and will do what they can to help

It does sound as though you need support ... have you contacted your Local Authority Adult Services for an assessment of your husband's care needs to get a care package in place

Admiral Nurses are there to support carers .. give them a call

Keep posting with anything that's on your mind
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
11,896
0
Yorkshire
Hello @Julesed
A warm welcome to DTP

You and your family are doing well by your father, he's fortunate to have you looking out for him

I wonder whether he now needs more home care visits ... maybe to sit with him and ensure he eats his meal in company

In my area, some taxi drivers are trained to support those with dementia ... I appreciate this isn't a cheap option but maybe there's a company in your dad's area that could take him to and from the day centre
 

Julesed

New member
Jan 27, 2022
2
0
Thank you for your replies. I will look into Age UK. We do pay for his carer to come in the evening 4 days a week just to come and sit with dad for a chat and cuppa.
Dial a ride is the service we used but won't take him now. Will look into taxi but I don't know if dad would go with them as he is a lot worse now then he was. More agitated and distrusting. Fortunately he has had the same carer for last 5 years and even though he still asks who he is he seems to trust him. Again thanks for suggestions.
 

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