Where to start with getting support?

[Auski]

Hi all,

I'm new to TP - my mum was diagnosed with younger onset dementia 4 years ago. She's 67 now and things have really progressed very quickly
My dad is her main carer and they both still love at home in Wales. I am based in Australia but I've come back for a few weeks to spend some time with them and to help get some support set up.

Currently dad is doing everything and I think is really at a point where he needs ongoing help.
Mum now needs lots of help -washing, dressing etc she's still capable of feeding herself but needs to be promoted several times to eat when food is in front of her.
She can't be left on her own due to several incidents of wandering, and she's also very anxious when dad isn't around.

So my question to you all, with your wisdom and experience, is what should I do to get the most out of my few weeks here in the UK? I'm talking mainly about setting up support for both mum and dad. Where to start?!
I feel help with cleaning the house and some time away would be beneficial for dad, and someone to come in the morning and evening to help mum would be good.

I've spoken to social services already, and I'm waiting for the community nurses to be back in touch to do another assessment as mum has been seen by them for 3 years and a lot has changed in that time.

What else could/should I be doing?! Any help and advice appreciated. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading

 

[Trotter1969]

I live in the uk with my mum and dad who I care for both with dementia. I didn't know where to turn. I found social services the best point of contact as our gp wasn't any help. May be ask for the re enablement team to come in. They come in for up to six weeks and will see what level of care your mum needs and your dad for support. Hope this helps x

 

[Trotter1969]

Sorry just re read your post ... You've already contacted social services. Anyhow maybe ask for r enablement ... We have an organisation called crossroads where we are and they come in once a week free so that I can take my mum out and someone stays with my dad to give us a break. It is hard accessing help but just be firm with whom ever you talk to there are a lot of Dom help services out there I kmow its hard to access. I do wish you all the best however x

 

[Beate]

You could contact Age UK for sitting service. They also have a handyman service plus a service where they could do shopping or ironing etc. for your parents, at least where I live.

You could get LPA and Attendance Allowance sorted while you're here, plus your mum can then apply for council tax exemption which would reduce the overall bill by 25%.

I doubt SS will pay for a cleaner so you could look round for one. I have no idea about Wales but here in London there are cleaning companies that send you a cleaner for £10 an hour, and you usually pay online beforehand. If you want the same cleaner every week, you set up a regular payment.

You should also ask for an OT assessment so that things like grab rails can be installed. If your dad is concerned about wandering, you could ask for a tracker or other devices to be provided via telecare.

You could get in touch with the Carers Centre and Alzheimer's Society so they can give your Dad ongoing practical and emotional support while you are away. He could attend their coffee mornings, carers forum and Singing for the Brain, where of course he can take your Mum along. Singing and dancing is really good for people with dementia. Apologies if these things don't exist in Wales.

You could also look around for lunch clubs that they could attend together if your Mum is too anxious to attend a day centre on her own (which would be the best scenario as it would give your dad a break too, but you can't force someone).

I hope I have given you a few things to think about. Above all, it's important that your dad's rights and health are taken into consideration too.

 

[Suzanna1969]

Phone up AgeUK, they will give you loads of advice. My local branch were wonderful, they arranged for the Attendance Allowance forms to be sent to us and then they came round to help us fill them in so we had the best chance of being awarded the maximum amount. They know how the system works and what to write!

Also find out if there is a local Dementia Cafe or Day Centre your mum could attend, as well as the sitting service. If your mum gets used to other people again she will hopefully be less anxious if/when your Dad is away from her so he can have a break. Again, AgeUK can advise you what is available in your area.