Mum, who has combined Alzheimers/vascular dementia and other health problems has been in a care home for nearly two years now, a decision we took because my dad, who'll be 94 this month, was finding that the caring was taking a toll on his own health. Physically, Mum's rather better now than she was two years ago. However, she hates, hates, hates the home and visits invariably follow a relentless, miserable loop of aggressive and unhappy questioning. 'Why am I here? Why are you keeping me here? When am I going home?' It's absolutely not possible to distract her. It's the Law of Unintended Consequences, I guess. Mum's physical health has improved and actually Dad's has, too, but he visits about four times a week and now finds the visits very stressful. After two years we have to acknowledge that she simply isn't going to settle. I think it's time to consider another way, but I have no idea where to start. I feel a bit defeated, in truth.