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Where to begin??

DollyPip

Registered User
Dec 29, 2013
3
0
Hi

I'm hoping to get some guidance and a bit more insight and sorry if I ask a lot of questions but I feel like I'm stabbing in the dark here.

Firstly, I should say this is not about myself but a friend of mine. He is only young, in his 20's and is living with his mum who is showing early signs of dementia. He works full time and then some more, has children with an ex partner and then has his mum to care for. He provides everything - food, home, clothes and everything that goes with it. It's a lot of stress and pressure on him and I'm really beginning to worry that he is struggling to cope with this, especially given he has, in effect, still got lots of things happening in his own life.
He doesn't want to move out as he fears something could happen to his mum and that she is incapable of caring for herself.
Quite literally he is at the beginning of it all and has no idea where to go or what he could do or where to begin. He has already taken his mum to the doctors where early dementia has been diagnosed but from what I've gathered they've given her pills and told them to get on with it.
The strain on him both mentally and financially is coming to breaking point and I see him getting more and more depressed each day.
He lives near Manchester. I have tried looking for support groups and such that his mum could go to as she seems to be becoming more and more reclusive as the months pass, and after a couple of hours searching I've found yourselves... and lots of mine fields.
I guess, what I'm looking for is a bit of a light that I can share with him to give him guidance and somewhere to head towards.
Sorry if I'm wittering but not sure if I can be more specific. I've not had experience of this illness myself before so any help or advice you can give would be great.
Thank you in advance x
 

grove

Registered User
Aug 24, 2010
7,714
0
North Yorkshire
Hello & welcome .........

Dolly to T Point , You sound a very caring friend :) to your friend & what a shame he has so much to deal with plus caring for his Mum :( You have come to the right place Dolly as you will find a lot of support & good advice on T P ( plus you might even make some friend 's along the way ! )


Am very sorry the G P was very unhelpful makes me :mad: & :(:( that your friend & Mum were treated so badly ! ! :( However am hoping this might help :

The Local A Society Number for the North West ( it covers 2 parts of Manchester )


code 01925 ........572239 ( Office Hours Only )

They should be able to provide a Support Worker for your friend & Mum plus lots more Information such as a Day Care Club / Memory Cafe ....... a M Cafe is for the Carer & Cared for , they provide lots of Information & normally run a activity E g Crafts / Games etc

Also the A S do lots of good useful Information Sheets that can be printed off Click on the BOX R Hand side (top ) Page on here where it says A Society Resources ( drop down box ) Then click on Fact Sheets , they all come under subject heading etc Just print out what you need ! Sorry not sure of the title & not being very helpful ! Have not looked for a long time !


Am sure other T P 'ers will be along too give you more advice but did not want to just read this & not reply Hope some of this helps


Good Luck & Keep posting & report back


Love Grove x
 

Yjess

Registered User
Dec 29, 2013
8
0
I made my Mum (who cares for my Dad who has Alzheimer's) apply for the Carer's allowance - I think the basic is around £50 a week (it's not means tested) a positive diagnosis of dementia is all that's needed. You can Google & download the application forms.
Really, there should be a brain scan for his Mum & regular appointments with the local memory clinic. Go back & see another GP requesting the referral to a NHS memory clinic.

Good luck! X
 

DollyPip

Registered User
Dec 29, 2013
3
0
Thank you!! Some great advice and help and at least something I can go to him with.

Looked quickly at the carers allowance but as he works fulltime and earns more than £100 per week he's not entitled to it :(

The local support groups will be great too - I really think this would help as I think he feels pretty isolated and alone and his mum literally doesn't leave the house for weeks on end at the moment.

Thanks again for your help. x
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
25,468
0
North Manchester
If he lives in BL9 naa just ask and I will PM you with details of day care, dementia cafés, singing for the brain, carer support groups, etc
 

DollyPip

Registered User
Dec 29, 2013
3
0
If he lives in BL9 naa just ask and I will PM you with details of day care, dementia cafés, singing for the brain, carer support groups, etc

Thanks but he's on the opposite side - about 30 mins away. More SK9 - Thank you though.
 

clareglen

Registered User
Jul 9, 2013
318
0
Cumbria
Sounds like she needs at least lower rate Attendance Allowance (non means tested) too & if she's up at least 5 times in night wandering, at the higher rate, but prob not there yet. Attendance Allowance at the lower rate and may help with getting other things too.