Where next? Care home can't cope with Mums behaviour

AliA

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
10
0
Hi all,
Looking for advice. My sister did an amazing job of getting mum into a beautiful care home 10 months ago. She is 86 & was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in Sep 2018. At first her physical health improved massively, and therefore her mood. However in the last 3 months she has declined rapidly & now she is no longer the lovely little lady with a cheeky sense of humour. Instead she is the grumpy old lady that refuses to eat, drink, take meds. Lashes out at carers trying to change dressings or help her dress, etc. She is doubly incontinent now and gets into a right mess trying to sort herself out & the carers have to keep trying to help her until she finally gives in & let's them. I can only imagine how utterly frightening & frustrating it must be for mum to live through this.
Care Home Manager has emailed my sister and I with this update. Oh yes, they also have a covid outbreak, which is being controlled well, but means that only my sister can visit.
Does anyone have any advice about what to do next? I live a 5-hour drive away. My sister lives in same town as Mum. Is it a possibility that mum gets transferred into a specialised care home near where I live? We aren't sure if this is a good thing to do. Just exploring options.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
You are going to need to find a specialist home (probably an EMI home) for your mum. Dont worry if its nots "beautiful" - look past the decor and see what the care is like.
If your mum s self-funding you can move her anywhere that will accept her. If she is reliant on LA funding you will have to work with SS and its harder, but still possible.
 

AliA

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
10
0
You are going to need to find a specialist home (probably an EMI home) for your mum. Dont worry if its nots "beautiful" - look past the decor and see what the care is like.
If your mum s self-funding you can move her anywhere that will accept her. If she is reliant on LA funding you will have to work with SS and its harder, but still possible.
Thanks. she is part LA funded.
Btw, I didn't mean the care home decor was beautiful. The staff, activities & facilities are beautiful ?. But I hear you, and agree, we need to get the best care possible for her.
 

AliA

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
10
0
Such a worry @AliA,

What type of care home is your Mum in as in, is it a care home, EMI care home, nursing home or EMI nursing home?
She is in a care home for the elderly, including dementia
 
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jaymor

Registered User
Jul 14, 2006
15,604
0
South Staffordshire
An EMI (elderly mental infirm) home is more geared up to caring for dementia than a care home. The staff will have had extra training and possibly a higher staff ratio to resident. There is a level of care that many care home can’t deal with when it comes to dementia.

Moving your Mum may help it may not so it’s important that your Mum’s behaviour is made very clear to the new home so that your Mum gets the level of care she needs to make her life the best it can be and you know that whatever she throws at them they can deal with.

its Certainly not an easy journey for carer or cared for when dementia is involved. I hope you can get something sorted that helps you and your sister and Mum too.
 
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canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
It sounds like an ordinary residential home that will accept some early dementia.
When you have a care home with mixed dementia and non-dementia residents you cant provide the specialist level of care for the residents with dementia in order to keep them safe and a lot of the behaviour of those with dementia, whilst being completely normal in dementia, are often upsetting for those residents without dementia.

This means that you get to a stage of dementia when a residential home for the elderly can no longer meet the needs of those with dementia, so they have to give notice.
Contact SS and explain the situation. Thy may be able to help with finding a home where your mum is now, but probably wont be able to help if you want to move her to where you are. You can start looking for somewhere near you, but I think there may be problems if you are living in a more expensive area. I know other members have successfully moved their PWD nearer to them, so I hope they can advise you
 

AliA

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
10
0
An EMI (elderly mental infirm) home is more geared up to caring for dementia than a care home. The staff will have had extra training and possibly a higher staff ratio to resident. There is a level of care that many care home can’t deal with when it comes to dementia.

Moving your Mum may help it may not so it’s important that your Mum’s behaviour is made very clear to the new home so that your Mum gets the level of care she needs to make her life the best it can be and you know that whatever she throws at them they can deal with.

its Certainly not an easy journey for carer or cared for when dementia is involved. I hope you can get something sorted that helps you and your sister and Mum too.
Thank you so much for the advice, I appreciate it. My sister got in touch with the original SS case worker and she is stepping in to help us through this.
 

AliA

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
10
0
It sounds like an ordinary residential home that will accept some early dementia.
When you have a care home with mixed dementia and non-dementia residents you cant provide the specialist level of care for the residents with dementia in order to keep them safe and a lot of the behaviour of those with dementia, whilst being completely normal in dementia, are often upsetting for those residents without dementia.

This means that you get to a stage of dementia when a residential home for the elderly can no longer meet the needs of those with dementia, so they have to give notice.
Contact SS and explain the situation. Thy may be able to help with finding a home where your mum is now, but probably wont be able to help if you want to move her to where you are. You can start looking for somewhere near you, but I think there may be problems if you are living in a more expensive area. I know other members have successfully moved their PWD nearer to them, so I hope they can advise you
Thanks for this info. My sister has been in contact with SS. The case worker knows her stuff, so hopefully she will help us navigate through this next phase.