Where IS everything?! Dealing with muddles ....

[kingmidas1962]

.... I'm talking about muddles of a paperwork nature this time. Dad has dementia (I have POA) mum recovering from carer breakdown. When mum and dads house went up for sale I thought it'd be a good time to sort out their paperwork / wills etc - find out where things are and make sure they're safe.

So - first on the list, dads bank and savings accounts. Check - relatively easily registered myself as account holder. Next - the deeds. Mum says 'oh, the bank has those' so when I'm sorting the POA I asked them. Nope. Over to mum again. 'The solicitors must have the deeds then. That's where we went to get my name added to the deeds as originally they were only in dads name. They have our wills too.'

I found out during the process of selling the house that paper deeds aren't required if the property is on land registry, so that's ok. Thought I'd call the solicitor to find out about the wills. Not there. My brother took a file containing mum and dads paperwork to look through and they're not there either. What a b***dy mess ...

The only upside is that it makes me determined to get all my affairs in order so my daughter doesn't have to do any of this. Its hard enough dealing with dads dementia and mums meltdown ... without all this extra stress!

Arrrrggghhhhh! Just wanted a rant ... feel better now

 

[1954]

Its so awful isn't it? We had the same with MIL's flat. Some things we found and others we have no idea where they are. Absolute confusion. It takes so much time doesn't it? Time that could be well spent doing other things

I hope you get things sorted x

 

[Mumsmum]

I fully understand. Before dad died he said all the paperwork i would need was in a drawer under his bed. It was, and in his wardrobe, every drawer, suitcases, etc. i found he had kept every piece of official paper for the 80 years of his life, but in no order, no files etc and even bank accounts that had been closed he had every statement for. As mum had been developing dementia for years she had no idea where their banks were, or where their income came from. It took me about 2 weeks solid filing to get some idea to enable me to sort out money. Even a year on i still haven't finished everything, they didn't even have much its just such a mess. At least there will be no shortage of recycled paper in Scotland this year

 

[kingmidas1962]

It transpires that although my brother took a file of paperwork he hasn't checked what's in it yet!

Just as well I don't have such a relaxed attitude to paperwork or mum and dad would be living in a hole in the ground by now ...

 

[1954]

Your brother needs a 'push' to get his job done!

Huge hugs to you x

 

[Jessbow]

I found it easier to gather everything up - I mean everything I could lay my hands on, systematically went through all the likely ( and less likely) places, Dump it all in a bag and bring it home with me.

My spare bedroom looked like the GPO sorting office for weeks, but slowly I worked my way through it and sorted it all into files that I understood.

look in the less likely places too- My late darling dad used to always get lump sums out of the bank. Each month he'd get the same ( I know cos I used to go and get it). I knew it wasn't all being used and KNEW there must have been reasonable cash - stash somewhere. Eventually I found it- in an old kit kat tin, in the ( unlocked) garden shed in a cupboard the housed hand tools.

A four figure sum I might add ( the first wasn't a 1 either!)

 

[kingmidas1962]

Thanks for the hugs

I accept them with thanks and send some right back at you xxx

 

[garnuft]

I'm afraid if Peter and I pop our clogs or worse, our two oldest sons will need two weeks to sort through the paper work,
a month or more to work their way through the loft full of Donny Osmond David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Frank Zappa...etc.etc.etc. LP's we have up there...they may make them some money, lots of 45's and LP's...100's

but then there's the tents and the clothes, then there's the books....lots and lots of books....100's.

There was two dining sets with chairs up until two weeks ago, so I suppose we're making progress.
I keep starting and end up drifting down memory lane...then it's time to sort out me folks.
I keep all important stuff in a tin box but my son knows he'll need a hearse at the front and a few skips at the back.

 

[grobertson62]

When my mum died we found cash all over the house, in all sorts of weird places
Dad had never dealt with bill paying etc. I had to take him in hand. We sorted poa out then. This was a blessing when dads dimentia rapidly progressed
I would suggest any one with elderly parents get the finance and paperwork organised
Gill