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Where is any support for us ?

Grandma Joan

Registered User
Mar 29, 2013
276
0
Wiltshire
Dad's Vascular Dementia seems to have worsened in the last few weeks. Really agitated, not eating etc

Every evening he asks my mum where is he sleeping and where is she sleeping etc but now he is worrying about all sorts of things like his pension, and he wants to see his parents (RIP 40 years ago)

He starts to get really agitated after about 6.00pm and continues until about 3.00am whereupon he has completely worn himself and my mum out. Last night she got really cross with him and he replied I will hit you if you don't stop talking. I am really worried about this as he has always been quite placid.

We are desperate for some professional help but nobody seems to want to know. GP not interested. CPN not available for 7 - 10 days. Where is all the support? We really feel at the end of our tether. We are not experts and we really need to feel supported.
 

kingmidas1962

Registered User
Jun 10, 2012
3,535
0
South Gloucs
If one GP at your practice isn't helpful maybe try another one ...

Try the local emergency Social Services number - if you have access to the internet do a Google search for 'emergency social services' and then wherever your local authority is.

They should have a team who can give advice and hopefully practical help as to how to get things to move more quickly. Your local Alzheimers Society helpline should be able to offer advice too

Let us know how you get on - things can move quite quickly and situations become unmanageable faster than you think so its best to try and get some help sooner rather than later xxx
 

Grandma Joan

Registered User
Mar 29, 2013
276
0
Wiltshire
If one GP at your practice isn't helpful maybe try another one ...

Try the local emergency Social Services number - if you have access to the internet do a Google search for 'emergency social services' and then wherever your local authority is.

They should have a team who can give advice and hopefully practical help as to how to get things to move more quickly. Your local Alzheimers Society helpline should be able to offer advice too

Let us know how you get on - things can move quite quickly and situations become unmanageable faster than you think so its best to try and get some help sooner rather than later xxx

This is really useful but we are all scared they will take him away from us. Even though it will come to it eventually, we need to be given some options first and then decide what is best for Dad
 

kingmidas1962

Registered User
Jun 10, 2012
3,535
0
South Gloucs
They may well come up with a solution that won't involve him being taken away - I guess what you need is an emergency care package if such a thing exists - or at the very least an urgent assessment to see what can be offered. Social services want most of all for folks to remain in their own homes as much as possible.
 

Tinkerbelle258

Registered User
Nov 13, 2012
60
0
N E Lincolnshire
I agree with kingmidas 1962. Try the emergency Social Services number. It doesn't mean that you'll have your Dad taken away from you. Believe me, they don't have the resources to take everyone into care.
Things don't happen overnight (as all of us on this forum know) but when you finally do get help you will be involved in every stage of the process,
The main thing is that you set the wheels in motion. No-one is going to come to you and say"is everything ok? how can we help?
Social services do everything they can to keep people in their own homes but you do need help now so I urge you to make that call.
Please let us know how you get on and remember you're not alone.
 

steviep

Registered User
Dec 11, 2012
149
0
Lancashire
My mum is the same, she's getting more and more aggressive as the weeks go by, the slightest wrong word sets her off.

She used to stay awake for up to 36 hours so I got a course of sleeping tablets for her which helped. Once they'd finished I tried her on 1 Nytol tablet about 10pm each night which helps calm her down enough for her to fall asleep normally within an hour or so. They may be worth a try for your dad. They don't work that quickly every time unfortunately, the odd night it can get up to 1.30am but at least we don't have the all-nighters any more and I can get some serious sleep at last.

I'm also at the stage now where it's getting very stressful during the day as she is shouting all the time so I'll probably have to go that one step further pretty soon.

Like you, I also find that doctors don't take dementia as seriously as they should. They continually try to fob you off or pass the buck. And trying to get a home visit... well that's another thing. In my experience Social Services are slow at the best of times but will swing into action very quickly when things get very difficult.