I cannot believe that it was early Dec when I last came on this site. Even that makes me feel guilty! There has been so much to sort out and some things are still not sorted.The story so far-
Mum was diagnosed with AD over a year ago. She lived in a bungalow about 5 mins from me and I worked full time 3 miles away. I had worked for this company for 5 years ( a large tour operator) and escaped several redundancies but the final straw came when the part of the company I worked in was going to relocate 30 miles away. Before the announcement was made I had asked mum would she like to come and live with me. All my decisions had been based on being close enough to get home at lunchtime as mum had started to forget to eat the lunch I had left for her. I had also asked about carers flexibility.There was an exceptional circumstances criteria set for not relocating and my first shock came when the company advised me that my circumstances were not exeptional and that I would have to relocate or leave.They classed my circumstances as no different to that of a parent seeking childcare.I contacted the Alzheimers Soc and they too felt it was totally inappropiate to categorise me like this. Well to cut a long story short I kept going back at them with the help of my very caring supervisor and gp. The meetings were awful -I cried,shouted,pleaded until they reversed the decision. It was then called a compromise agreement and my contract was terminated on Feb 5th with a small final payment.So I won that battle but not the war. I tried to apply for jobs close to home and work 30 hours and I had read somewhere that recruitment agencies were the best for flexibilty - wrong! I applied for jobs myself and stated that I would need to get home at lunchtime as my mum has Alzheimers. Should I have lied as I have not been offered one position?
Finally as I am now too mentally tired to try any more and feel now that I have lost my fight, I have decided to stay at home and claim carers allowance whilst still hoping to find a suitable part time job. I now cannot cope with all the form filling as apparently it's all linked to income support/housing and council tax benefit of which I know nothing about as I have always worked and the thing I seem to have messed up is having savings which believe me I have worked very had to get.
All I want to do is look after my mum until the time comes when I can no longer cope-my decision. Why is every thing made so difficult? I hate feeling like this as I have always been a doer and not a moaner but why does wanting to be mum's carer make me feel like a worthless member of society now?
Wow - do I feel better getting that off my chest!
Mum was diagnosed with AD over a year ago. She lived in a bungalow about 5 mins from me and I worked full time 3 miles away. I had worked for this company for 5 years ( a large tour operator) and escaped several redundancies but the final straw came when the part of the company I worked in was going to relocate 30 miles away. Before the announcement was made I had asked mum would she like to come and live with me. All my decisions had been based on being close enough to get home at lunchtime as mum had started to forget to eat the lunch I had left for her. I had also asked about carers flexibility.There was an exceptional circumstances criteria set for not relocating and my first shock came when the company advised me that my circumstances were not exeptional and that I would have to relocate or leave.They classed my circumstances as no different to that of a parent seeking childcare.I contacted the Alzheimers Soc and they too felt it was totally inappropiate to categorise me like this. Well to cut a long story short I kept going back at them with the help of my very caring supervisor and gp. The meetings were awful -I cried,shouted,pleaded until they reversed the decision. It was then called a compromise agreement and my contract was terminated on Feb 5th with a small final payment.So I won that battle but not the war. I tried to apply for jobs close to home and work 30 hours and I had read somewhere that recruitment agencies were the best for flexibilty - wrong! I applied for jobs myself and stated that I would need to get home at lunchtime as my mum has Alzheimers. Should I have lied as I have not been offered one position?
Finally as I am now too mentally tired to try any more and feel now that I have lost my fight, I have decided to stay at home and claim carers allowance whilst still hoping to find a suitable part time job. I now cannot cope with all the form filling as apparently it's all linked to income support/housing and council tax benefit of which I know nothing about as I have always worked and the thing I seem to have messed up is having savings which believe me I have worked very had to get.
All I want to do is look after my mum until the time comes when I can no longer cope-my decision. Why is every thing made so difficult? I hate feeling like this as I have always been a doer and not a moaner but why does wanting to be mum's carer make me feel like a worthless member of society now?
Wow - do I feel better getting that off my chest!