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Where do I live?

mickeyplum

Registered User
Feb 22, 2018
142
My husband's memory goes from bad to worse but the other day, out of the blue and for the first time, he said, 'It's funny, but I feel like I'm only staying here - like when we used to go on holiday - and that I'll be going back home soon.'
Is this the first stage of him not knowing his home and where he belongs? I just smiled at him but wondered if there was some way I should reassure him, or would that magnify his memory loss?
Incidentally, he has no memories of holidays or any events over the past 90 years.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @mickeyplum, that can be quite difficult to hear. What time of day was that? Does your Husband sun-down (get confused late afternoon early evening)?

All you can really do is to provide words of reassurance (nothing to worry about you are safe etc) - there is little point in applying logic and explaining the situation as it may well create added agitation.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,038
Newcastle
Before she went into her care home my wife used to ask about where she lived and quite often would not recognise our house of 20 years as we drew up outside in the car. Even now she asks me where we live, whilst at the same time recognising that she likes where she is living. I have got used to this and say something like "this is where we live at the moment" and "it's lovely here", which seems to answer her question. Until she asks it again of course, which can be 20 seconds later. If she asks about going 'home' or to see her Mother my reply is non-committal along the lines of "we can do that later" ...
 

mickeyplum

Registered User
Feb 22, 2018
142
Thanks for the help. It was mid=morning when he wasconfused about his home but early evening he does tend to get unsettled and moves around, rearranging things - like the apples in the fruit dish, or a jug on the kitcken window sill.
He does seem a bit obsessed with 'places' and whenever he go out he says things like, 'Where is this place we're going to?' I give him the name of his local town and he says, 'Where's that near?' 'Have I been to this place before?' And then when we return it's, ' Did we go somewhere today?' 'Did we have anything to eat there?'
I don't tell hm we're going out till half an hour beforehand cos that's when the questions start. I usually just tell him it's hard to explain where the place is cos I don't know the names of the roads and that he'll probably know it as soon as he sees it. Which he does... so far.
He has no fear of the outside world as long as he's with family and asks over and over every day, 'Are we going to have a run out and a drink somewhere?' Why not, it's a lovely day?'
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @mickeyplum, if he is more confused than normal is it possible that he has a UTI or is dehydrated (with the extreme weather)?
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Hi @mickeyplum, when Mum was confused and displaying unusual behaviour at one point the GP came out and assessed her as being dehydrated and he explained that can cause increased confusion and unusual behaviour. It might not be that but worth keeping an eye on especially in this extreme heat.