What do I do. Had a really lovely day with Lionel. We laughed together, we cried together, (we were listening to the music from ‘Les Miserable’, when he said “you always cry at this track,.... play it again’) Before I left this evening he said “ are you Connie?” I replied I was, but that it did not matter if he forgot my name. “No. no, you don’t understand, sometimes there are two of you, and I know you should only be one, so I ask “are you Connie?”” I realise he is drifting from me . I got home at5.30 and phoned the home at 7.00pm to ask them to put his TV on to a certain channel. “He has asked to go to bed, he is always so exhausted after a day with you” I realised there was a quiz style program on, that , had I been with him, we could have enjoyed together. So he goes to bed early, I spend the evening alone. I just miss him soooo much, not just his presence, but him ‘Lionel’ the man.. We do have the best of worlds, compared to some, but how I so, so wish things were different. Don’t know how long I will be able to carry on at this stage. Hate my life, except for the hours I spend with Lionel.