1. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    :( Dad still in hospital with chest infection but discharge team think he will be ready to leave next week.
    The next big problem is where he will go? It has been agreed he needs to do to a nursing home that also has dementia care.
    One nursing home went to assess him and said he had too many medical problems for them to cope with.Another nursing home has places but has not decided if they will assess him because he is not self-funding! The discharge SS team are having a real problem finding a nursing home bed available anywhere in our area....my next question is what happens if the hospital want to discharge him but no-one has a bed for him?
    He just would not be safe back at home:(
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Jack, that just can't happen! Having assessed your dad as needing nursing home care, they can't discharge him until a suitable place is found.

    You need to get in touch with his own SW, he/she should sort this out for you.

    And try not to worry, they have to find something.
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    Jack - if the hospital is ready to discharge him but there is no bed available he will not be discharged. Social services, however, will end up paying the NHS while he is bed-blocking so it's in their best interests to sort this out. Do not, however, allow him to be placed somewhere unsuitable, even as a stop-gap measure. Further, if his needs are greater than a "regular" nursing home can provide, then social services (and/or the NHS) must pay whatever they need to in order to meet those needs, even if by doing so they spend more than they normally do. Do not let them tell you "oh we only pay so much and there's not a home in the area that will take him for that much", or at least not until you've checked here first: there are certain things they can and cannot do and it's always wise to check before accepting anything that is said as gospel.
     
  4. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Its a terrible 'back against the wall' feeling when this situation happens. I know I have panicked so many times about where will he be able to go when he leaves the hospital.

    All the places suggested to me were not right for my husband so I refused to even consider them. I won out in the end and my husband is now going to a care home I have chosen.

    You can have some choice and input into further care, even if appears to you at the moment that you can't. Some good advice has already been given. Just a thought and which may not apply to your dad, but if he has been held under the Mental Health Act, then the hospital is legally obliged to pay for continuing care.

    xxTinaT
     
  5. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    Dear Jack
    My father is presently in a similar situation, in that he is ready to be discharged but there isn't a bed at the only home that is suitable for his needs. For some time I didn't know where he was going to end up, its a horrible feeling. Keep in touch with social services to see whats happening. They cant just send him back home, they do have some kind of duty of care.
    take care
    hendy
     
  6. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Jack, I can't answer you. All I can say is that you shouldn't be in this position.

    When I had a problem re my mother a while ago, I wrote to my MP. I said if he didn't know what problems people had he should have a look at the Alzheimers website. I bet he didn't bother. Any respectable MP reading your plight would want to do something about it it.

    Hope you solve it. Sorry, can't help but have a a hug (no icon available, just have a hug).

    Margaret
     
  7. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    Thank you for all your support.
    Dad is moving to a nursing home on Monday. Not that happy with where it is as it's about 15 miles away from me in a village outside town. It will also be difficult for his friend to visit as she will have to get at least 2 buses to get there so will only be able to go once a week if that!
    It was inspected last year and did not get a great report but it does have new management so I really hope it's improved.
    My Sister and I are going over at the weekend to see what it is like.
    I was told that if Dad/us did not agree to this bed he would have to go to a dementia unit....so we have said to Dad that if he goes we will put his name down for a nursing home closer to us that we have already seen and looks ok.
    I feel so torn today as I had been caring for Dad up until his current hospital stay and I know I cant manage the care any longer but still feel I am giving up on him...I am sure many of you will know what I mean:(
     
  8. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    Dear Jack
    I'm sorry that your Dad has a home along way away. Is it really true 'they' said if he wouldn't have this it would have to be a dementia bed? I think you need to ask some questions Jack, does he need a dementia bed or not? He should have had an assessment to say exactly what his needs are, and that should determine what kind of bed he has, not whether you have agreed to something or not. Sorry to get strident Jack. Is this home really suitable? Or can they get somehing nearer? Stick to your guns, you know what is best for Dad.
    Please keep posting
    take care
    hendy
     
  9. jack29

    jack29 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2008
    71
    Well I think it is suitable in the terms of nursing and dementia care but not suitable for us as family because of it's location. I really would have liked Dad nearer so I could visit during the week..I work full-time so I will either have to go in the evenings or at weekends.We are going to put his name down for one that is in the city centre, they dont have a bed at the moment. It was a lot of pressure looking after him every day at home but I think I will still be stressed because I will be trying to get to visit him as often as I can. The SS worker said I should "let go" a bit as he will be in good hands and visiting once a week is ample. That is easy to say but I dont think I will be able too!
     
  10. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    Dear Jack
    You should be able to visit your Dad when ever you want. Perhaps the SW was trying to give helpful advice, but have they ever had to care for a Dad like you are trying to look after yours? If they had, they would be more sympathetic. Any one who has had to place a loved one in a home knows that it is really important to settle them in and help to adjust to their new surroundings. It does sound from your post that you are being put under some pressure. It sounds like SW is just viewing things from their perspective and not from you and your Dads.
    take care
    hendy
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    And there speaks a SW rather than a carer!

    Yes, we all know about the theory, but do they understand the emotion?

    I've been told so many times to ease up on the visiting, that I'm wearing myself out and it's not necessary. No, it's probably not necessary for John, though I think the regular contact helps him to know that I'm still an important part of his life -- and he of mine.

    But it's necessary for me, and I'll cut down once the time is right.

    You're right to look for a home where you can visit as often as you want to, Jack. I hope something comes up soon.

    Good luck,
     

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