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When you are doing all you can, and you give up

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,605
Auckland...... New Zealand
Already cared for Mum with Alzheimers until she went into care 4 yrs ago.
Dad 82 with mild mixed dementia however is not at the stage of care nor qualifying for care.... he can still bath, toilet, dress himself, cook etc
He doesnt have hallucinations or delusions.
He just has poor communication skills, no safety awareness, lacks empathy, judgement, reasoning. His short term memory fluctuates.

Dad lives behind me with my brother. My husband has health issues and so is home all day when I work, so Dad always has a degree of supervision.
But, I am constantly on tenterhooks trying to keep him safe one way or another. He seems to sabotage everything.

Ive gotten to the point where what will be will be and I will just have to let that crisis happen as Im running myself ragged.

Has anyone done this?
What happened?
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
433
Mid Lincs
I sympathise, it didn't matter what we tried for my mum to make life easier for her, or us for that matter she would thwart it in some way. I've always said she should have worked for MI6 as a gadget tester. If there was a weak spot in the design of something or a plan, she would exploit it.

You can only do so much.....

(((Hugs)))
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Already cared for Mum with Alzheimers until she went into care 4 yrs ago.
Dad 82 with mild mixed dementia however is not at the stage of care nor qualifying for care.... he can still bath, toilet, dress himself, cook etc
He doesnt have hallucinations or delusions.
He just has poor communication skills, no safety awareness, lacks empathy, judgement, reasoning. His short term memory fluctuates.

Dad lives behind me with my brother. My husband has health issues and so is home all day when I work, so Dad always has a degree of supervision.
But, I am constantly on tenterhooks trying to keep him safe one way or another. He seems to sabotage everything.

Ive gotten to the point where what will be will be and I will just have to let that crisis happen as Im running myself ragged.

Has anyone done this?
What happened?
Yes I did with Aged mother - in all honesty I was enabling the situation.
learning to say no was difficult but necessary
Now care package at home in place!
Stay strong
(((Hugs)))