When will the suffering end?

[Arbie]

My mum is in hospital and it seems she's at the end stage of this hideous illness. When she first got diagnosed it all seemed quite quaint - a little forgetful, saying silly things - now this disease is ravaging her. She's deteriorated so much in the last week. She now won't eat or drink and she's crawling around on the floor - there's no dignity left. She just won't sit still even though she must weigh less than 6 stone and is skin an bone. I went to visit her last night and she was in an empty part of the ward on her own, on her knees under a table. The things I've seen will stay with me forever and it's heartbreaking for me and my poor dad.

Trouble is nobody will tell us whether she'd dying or not - she's in an assessment unit and they still seem to be saying they might be discharging her to a nursing home. I don't think she can possibly live much longer. Just wish they'd say she could stay there so we could settle down and prepare for the end.

Feeling dreadful

 

[CollegeGirl]

Arbie, I'm so, so sorry. How absolutely horrible for you to see your mum like that. I'm feeling teary myself this evening after learning today that my own mam has used the sofa as a toilet. My poor, poor mam. How she would hate this if she knew.

I have no answers, but tons of sympathy and empathy and just want to reach out and give you a big hug.

xx

 

[Dazmum]

I'm so sorry that you've had to see your mum like that Arbie, how terrible for you and your family. Hugs to you xxx

 

[anamarija]

I'm so sorry that you've had to see your mum like that Arbie, how terrible for you and your family. Hugs to you xxx

So sorry to hear this. I hope that your Mum can be found somewhere where they will treat your Mum with the care and dignity she deserves. These places do exist-my Mum us in a lovely home but I really thought she thought she would die before I got there. I can only post now as I could not deal with the trauma before. Best wishes and hugz

 

[Onlyme]

I would ask for a meeting to discuss her best interests. If she is near the end of her life she deserves better than sitting under a table.

Also I have a feeling that if she is critical and of life then CHC will kick in and will pay for her. At least in a care home/ hospice she can have family around her with no visiting regulations.

 

[Dazmum]

Good advice Lemony,your mum does deserve better, bless her xx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Wish I'd thought of that advice, I feel as though I've let Arbie down . Thank goodness for Lemony.

 

[Arbie]

Thank you all - and College Girl - you've certainly not let me down - it's great to share these thoughts with other people who've been through it. We're supposed to be having the DST meeting next week but the hospital seem to think she won't get the funding. I think I will ask for a meeting about her best interests. She's at a local community hospital which has been fantastic but they don't have doctors on site so rarely get to speak to them.