When will her suffering end?
Hi - this is my first post, although I posted this possibly in the wrong section and a member was kind enough to advise me to post this on this section.
I'm looking for advice and guidance having searched the internet for over 3 days and read everything I could on the subject. I look after my 92 year old mother who first had a stroke brought on by a sudden and huge increase in BP about 13 years ago. Since then she's had a number of mini strokes and has progressively declined. She was diagnosed with paranoia (which the psycho-gerontologist told me she'd been suffering from since adolescence), and later with vascular dementia. the vascular dementia was diagnosed about 3 years ago. I guess readers will know all about this condition so I'll cut to the chase. Mother is currently being treated for paranoia (lyrica and quetiapine) and has been for the last 3 years. We've had everything: sleepless nights, hallucinations and deliria, UTI's, pneumonia, agression. For the last month she's been "off" her food and drink. She finds it difficult but not impossible to swallow, has bouts of agression, and wants to walk all the time. She can only walk with our help. She is obviously very weak, totally disorientated, and repeats my name all the time. She cries for no known reason and is permanently agitated when she's not sleeping. She had a sixth mini stroke about 4 weeks ago which has left her with unintelligible speech, which now makes communication exceptionally difficult (it's incredibly frustrating not knowing if she's telling me she's in pain or what is wrong with her). She's under the care of an excellent team of doctors, but everyone tells me there's nothing much left to be done apart from keeping her as comfortable as possible. I have two carers who help me, one during the week and the other at week-ends. Apart from the obvious emotional rollercoaster, which I'm trying to manage as best as possible, (doc gave me some anti depressants a few months back) I want to fathom how long approximately mother has to live. I realise everyone at this stage is very different and no-one can estimate how much longer she will continue, but there must be indicators which presage oncoming death.
Her suffering is immense, mostly psychological, and I think naturally, I want to see her at peace. Like many posts I have read on this forum, I want mother to let go...I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to suffer. Can someone advise what sort of life expectancy she has bearing in mind that her condition may be compounded at any time with the emergence of another UTI or stroke? I've talked to the medical team about naso-gastric feeding tube, and we're all of the opinion that this would be a too agressive procedure for her, and as her daughter, I know that she wouldn't have wanted the procedure. Help....
Hi - this is my first post, although I posted this possibly in the wrong section and a member was kind enough to advise me to post this on this section.
I'm looking for advice and guidance having searched the internet for over 3 days and read everything I could on the subject. I look after my 92 year old mother who first had a stroke brought on by a sudden and huge increase in BP about 13 years ago. Since then she's had a number of mini strokes and has progressively declined. She was diagnosed with paranoia (which the psycho-gerontologist told me she'd been suffering from since adolescence), and later with vascular dementia. the vascular dementia was diagnosed about 3 years ago. I guess readers will know all about this condition so I'll cut to the chase. Mother is currently being treated for paranoia (lyrica and quetiapine) and has been for the last 3 years. We've had everything: sleepless nights, hallucinations and deliria, UTI's, pneumonia, agression. For the last month she's been "off" her food and drink. She finds it difficult but not impossible to swallow, has bouts of agression, and wants to walk all the time. She can only walk with our help. She is obviously very weak, totally disorientated, and repeats my name all the time. She cries for no known reason and is permanently agitated when she's not sleeping. She had a sixth mini stroke about 4 weeks ago which has left her with unintelligible speech, which now makes communication exceptionally difficult (it's incredibly frustrating not knowing if she's telling me she's in pain or what is wrong with her). She's under the care of an excellent team of doctors, but everyone tells me there's nothing much left to be done apart from keeping her as comfortable as possible. I have two carers who help me, one during the week and the other at week-ends. Apart from the obvious emotional rollercoaster, which I'm trying to manage as best as possible, (doc gave me some anti depressants a few months back) I want to fathom how long approximately mother has to live. I realise everyone at this stage is very different and no-one can estimate how much longer she will continue, but there must be indicators which presage oncoming death.
Her suffering is immense, mostly psychological, and I think naturally, I want to see her at peace. Like many posts I have read on this forum, I want mother to let go...I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to suffer. Can someone advise what sort of life expectancy she has bearing in mind that her condition may be compounded at any time with the emergence of another UTI or stroke? I've talked to the medical team about naso-gastric feeding tube, and we're all of the opinion that this would be a too agressive procedure for her, and as her daughter, I know that she wouldn't have wanted the procedure. Help....
