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When will care homes be open to visitors again?

pixie2

Registered User
Jul 21, 2018
88
I feel for you all. Unfortunately my mother died during lockdown and I was so looking forward to seeing her again
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,421
My OH has been in a nursing home since last November. He has had Alzheimer's for four years and other medical conditions. Last September he fell in the local day centre and broke his hip. This was operated on and he was quite ill with delIrium afterwards and was in hospital for 7 weeks. He then fell and broke his other hip and could only be discharged to an assessment bed in a nursing home as he needed 24 hour care. This was a very hard decision but as I had a stroke two years ago and haven't full use of my left hand and the fact that I now have chronic heart failure, to care for him at home was not possible. I love him to bits and hate being parted from him. The Alzheimer's has gradually progressed over the last few months that any interaction is very limited due to lockdown.
Today is our 54th wedding anniversary so I asked the home if it would be possible to visit my OH in the garden. Unlike wifenotcarer experience. I was told that I could visit. Imagine my surprise that when they brought my OH out to the garden in his wheelchair he had flowers, chocolates and a card for me, provided by the manager and her staff. I was completely overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness and kindness. The card even had a specially written verse for the two of us. Unfortunately my OH didn't really understand what was going on. Although we did have a toast with the bottle of Malbec I had brought along. I feel blessed that the manager was very sensitive to my needs, to see my husband on this special day, and facilitate this. I feel very fortunate and grieve for wifenotcarers experience.
How kind and thoughtful of the care home manager especially at this very difficult time when they must have do much to think about. So glad you got to see your husband on this special day. Susan
 

Louie16

Registered User
Mar 31, 2020
34
This booklet has just been published and has advice about visiting in a particular chain of care homes. It's very general and sympathetically written.

https://johnscampaign.org.uk/#/post/visiting-a-relative-with-dementia-living-in-a-care-home
Thanks for this very helpful. The home sent email yesterday saying that the local council are advising no contact at all even in garden due to greater risk cross infection as public lockdown been eased, so actually Gov easing lockdown does mean even stricter shielding for vulnerable people which is really sad for everyone.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,372
The home sent email yesterday saying that the local council are advising no contact at all even in garden due to greater risk cross infection as public lockdown been eased, so actually Gov easing lockdown does mean even stricter shielding for vulnerable people which is really sad for everyone.
Is the home in an area where infection rates are really high, or does the home currently have high rates of infection amongst residents? The lockdown has been eased as infection rates have reduced, and the government has even eased the shielding restrictions now. Government advice is that it is safe for one person to visit someone from another household, outside, whilst maintaining social distancing. Mum's home have started garden visits this week. Masks and hand sanitiser are provided and social distancing has to be maintained at all times. The home are basing their decisions on the government advice, plus their own risk assessments, rather than what the local council may or may not say. I wonder when your council will deem it appropriate to allow garden visits, bearing in mind that lockdown restrictions are due to be eased even further in the coming weeks?
 

Louie16

Registered User
Mar 31, 2020
34
Is the home in an area where infection rates are really high, or does the home currently have high rates of infection amongst residents? The lockdown has been eased as infection rates have reduced, and the government has even eased the shielding restrictions now. Government advice is that it is safe for one person to visit someone from another household, outside, whilst maintaining social distancing. Mum's home have started garden visits this week. Masks and hand sanitiser are provided and social distancing has to be maintained at all times. The home are basing their decisions on the government advice, plus their own risk assessments, rather than what the local council may or may not say. I wonder when your council will deem it appropriate to allow garden visits, bearing in mind that lockdown restrictions are due to be eased even further in the coming weeks?
Yes I really don't understand this either, I am going to write and query this. Their main concern appears to be that visitors having increased social contact now will be placing any resident at even higher risk. The 2 residents who were positive have been quarantined 14 days and no other instance in the home It's Wolves council, west Midlands, R rate bit raised but not as high as other places.
 

Amelie5a

Registered User
Nov 5, 2014
122
Scotland
Donald Mackaskill is the chair of Scottish Care, an organisation which is the voice of the independent care sector in Scotland. Today he published this article. It really captures the importance of balancing the risk of infection against the well-being of people with dementia who've been in lockdown now for three months. It's reassuring to know that there are people wth that depth of understanding actively engaged in trying to address the issue.

https://scottishcare.org/the-pain-of-isolation-thoughts-for-dementia-awareness-week/

Personally I have to stop myself thinking about how Dad is doing in his care home - it's too painful and there's nothing I can do about it, short of driving up there and taking him out of care altogether. And that's not really a viable option.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,421
I feel for you all. Unfortunately my mother died during lockdown and I was so looking forward to seeing her again
So sorry to hear this Pixie2. You must be devastated. All I can say is take care of yourself at this difficult time. Fill your mind with things that you shared in happier times. There must be so many to remember.
I too am worried that this might happen to Mum. She's 95 and I haven't seen her for12 weeks .
Susan
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,932
North West
watkin.observer
Personally I have to stop myself thinking about how Dad is doing in his care home - it's too painful and there's nothing I can do about it, short of driving up there and taking him out of care altogether. And that's not really a viable option.
I am exactly the same and if allow myself to drift of thinking about it all I just get very upset for the rest of the day. I have to push myself sometimes to get on with things otherwise I would just sit and stew over it all.
 

Amelie5a

Registered User
Nov 5, 2014
122
Scotland
I am exactly the same and if allow myself to drift of thinking about it all I just get very upset for the rest of the day. I have to push myself sometimes to get on with things otherwise I would just sit and stew over it all.
I feel quite callous doing it, but if I don't, I get upset - just as you describe. Mind you, things can still tip me over. Today's been OK. I've managed to 'do stuff' and not dwell on how awful the situation is with Dad. And then I came across a Collabro video. Well Dad loved watching Collabro - he'd comment away about 'the lads' and what great voices they had. The video did for me - up came a mental image of Dad alone in his room; whereas if I'd been able to care for him longer, maybe he could still have been at home, enjoying his music for a while longer.

The care home option was where I got to be a daughter again - but, of course, that can't happen. At least, not yet.
 

pixie2

Registered User
Jul 21, 2018
88
So sorry to hear this Pixie2. You must be devastated. All I can say is take care of yourself at this difficult time. Fill your mind with things that you shared in happier times. There must be so many to remember.
I too am worried that this might happen to Mum. She's 95 and I haven't seen her for12 weeks .
Susan
Thankyou. Thinking of you
 

willow73

Registered User
Apr 27, 2020
17
It's horrible isn't it,I look after my mother at home,but I've been unable to see my son who lived with me half of the time but is at his mums now,there doesn't seem to be an awful lot to look forward to at the moment,I hope the vaccine is available by xmas
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
638
i look after my husband at home but hes shielding and yes the shielders can now go for a walk, there were so many easing of lockdowns at the same time im not keen for him to rejoin society just yet. we want to see our children and grandchildren yet as he still has to avoid people, shops gatherings. he goes further and further down the front path and has walked the length of it but thats it. we are not in the riskist place in southampton but the southeast has still got a R number of 0.97 so not far off
 

Juliematch

Registered User
Jun 24, 2017
161
I got to see my dad yesterday after 13 very long weeks. It was through an upstairs window,as he’s on the first floor in his nursing home . The first thing he said was “there’s our Julie “and I promptly burst into tears. I was so sure he would forget me .I didn’t realise how much all this had affected me. We managed a small conversation as he couldn’t hear me very well( broken hearing aid again) but just to see him relaxed ,happy and telling his carers what a good girl I was ,made me feel so much better. He’s 85 today so we took presents with us. We won’t get to see him open them but I know he is happy and that’s all that matters. All this after a positive test for covid which luckily he had no symptoms of. We have been very fortunate. Hopefully it won’t be too long until we can all visit our loved ones.Our mental health and theirs need it desperately.