When we last had a meaningful conversation

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Alex54, May 31, 2019.

  1. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    Good for you. It's so nice to have something to look forward to and weather in London in July should be reasonable. Won't it be great to have proper " people" conversations for a few days.
     
  2. DennyD

    DennyD Registered User

    As well as missing the engaging and meaningful conversations, I also miss his confidence boosting compliments, say when having had a haircut or asking "does my bum look big in this?", he'd always knew to say the right thing.
     
  3. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    371
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    The number of replies to this thread, which was only started yesterday, just shows that we are all missing the same thing - conversation.

    I must admit that I often forget that my husband can't converse with me anymore, can't make decisions. It just seems natural to talk to the person you married and have lived with all these years. It has been like this for a few years but I can't seem to accept it, I just keep trying to ask him things even though I know he can't respond.

    Earlier in the week a faulty socket blew the electrics. It was late at night and I didn't know about the trip switch and was informed the following day by a neighbour, but at the time I said to my husband "We have no power". He just said "Never mind it will be alright".

    That's another thing that I've found hard. Not only having to make the decision about where we're going to live, and having to decide to buy this flat, but also having to deal with things like electric, something I never had to before. And when the electrician came the following day, I too found myself talking too much.

    I quite agree with PalSal referring to "re-booting" and maryjoan's "Groundhog Day", it all seems to fit in with my day to day life now.
     
  4. pevensey

    pevensey Registered User

    Feb 14, 2012
    103
    Oh gosh canary, they are the exact words he says. Unfortunately it was very bad day today, I tried to talk to him about the walk in shower grant we got turned down for, saying I was going to appeal against it and he started shouting and saying I was making trouble, the first time in months hes actually tried to have conversation. But I completely lost it and really retaliated and started shouting back at him, that's something I NEVER DO, I'm normally quiet and accept the way he is, I said some awful things to him and really felt bad afterwards.. I know I should have just walked away to another room
     
  5. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    The only times we have anything resembling conversation these days is when it's either about his greedy selfish children or like last night it was about the dog.

    At about 11.30pm, it seemed that our dog was rather unwell. She could wag her tail and move her legs so she wasn't paralyzed but was very sore and reluctant to move. OH went into overdrive panic and was adamant that we should take her immediately to the Emergency Vet Clinic. (An excellent university training facility and open when every other vet in town is closed.)

    A dog who appeared to be ill and an hysterical and distraught PWD late at night - just what every carer needs!

    He had a very disturbed night which meant that we all did. This morning, the dog was happy to go for a walk, perform her necessaries and ate a good breakfast. I can only guess at what caused her distress but she now appears fine. But OH and I were able to discuss our plans for our dog's well being which we never do any other time. He is now asleep but surprised me by giving me a hug before he disappeared into his bedroom.
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,872
    Female
    South coast
    Please dont feel too badly @pevensey . I have lost it with OH too - we are none of us saints
     
  7. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    1,250
    My PWD is my mum and she's now in care so I don't have the day to day issues to challenge me that many of you here live with, but the thread is making me think anyway. And the answer is probably ten years ago. Maybe even longer than that.

    It's been a torturous and long dementia journey for us. From an increasing lack of logic and failing memory, through a seemingly at the time endless period of almost constant confabulations, to now this last (almost) non verbal stage. All of it tough for different reasons.
     

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