1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    At what stage do you know when someone needs, or is shortly to need, to go into a care home? Are there any signs, signals, warning klaxons to look out for?





    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  2. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    When it is no longer possible for the person to be safe (in our case, leaving gas on unlit, falls leading to inability to walk).

    When the carer(s) know that the person needs more help that they are able/willing to give without compromising their own health, sanity, family or finances....
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    I would say that if you are asking the question then its probably time to start looking....
     
  4. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    Thank you for your reply.
    I guess we are trying to anticipate when we might not be able to cope. Or what would make it impossible to care for her at home. An impossible question, I suppose, and different for everyone.
    Safety isn't an issue as she lives with us. But the level of care is more of a problem.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  5. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    Thank you Canary. I see my post overlapped yours.
    We are deciding whether it is worth building an extension to care for her or not. She is funding it (deprivation of assets not an issue) and we are questioning whether we should go ahead if she might be in CH in a year's time. But how do we know???
    Aaargh.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  6. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    I would say the ideal time to look at care homes, is before a crisis, so that you have plenty of time to assess the options and deal with paperwork/financial/legal issues.

    As to when it's time to make the move to a CH, well, that's difficult to say, and impossible to predict. There could be a health issue or medical problem or accident, at any time, that might require some sort of institutional care (hospital, care home, rehabilitation, whatever) and of course you can't predict that. Or something might happen to you, to make it impossible for you to provide care. Things happen.

    If only the dementia diagnosis came with a crystal ball!!

    So probably the best thing you can do is to make the best decision you can, with the information you have, right now. I'm sorry if that sounds obvious but what else can you do?

    Having said that, is there any information you could get from any health or medical professional, or social worker, or any source, to give you more insight about current needs and even a general idea of how things might develop? It probably can't hurt to ask.

    I hope you're able to make a decision that works for you.
     
  7. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    Hi I went through this a couple of years ago. I was going to convert my garage into a bedsit but decided not to in the end. My mum went into a care home in January. I would have loved to keep her at home but I just could not cope with her wandering and incontinence but most of all I could not leave her alone, not even to go to the loo as she was looking for me the whole time and feeling so anxious about where I was and what she was supposed to be doing. She would sit still to some extent if I sat with her but I could not spend my whole life babysitting my mum as much as I love her. Looking back I didnt realise just how much of my life revolved around her and it has taken a long time for me to adjust but she is very content in the care home with somebody around her 24/7. It was not an easy decision. She used to go to day care in the home so she was familiar with the staff and residents. It took some time but she wanted to go every day in the end because she felt safe there. That made the transition easier. Maybe it would be worth having a look round at suitable homes. I would still love to bring her home but I know it would not be in her best interest and I would lose my sanity (what's left of it) completely.
     
  8. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    Forgot to say that my mum went very quickly to sort of managing with lots of help to not even being able to make a cup of tea or eat or do anything without prompting. Lots of things just seemed to happen overnight and it was a constant battle to keep her clean. I think one thing definite about this disease is that it only gets worse. Sorry but I am being honest with you and if you are having doubts now you must be thinking along these lines. Good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  9. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    I have to agree with Amy as this is what happened with my mum. My sister and I spent a week visiting our shortlist of local care homes last May and had identified the one we thought most suited to mum. At the time we were not expecting mum to need to move for some time (she was still living at home alone, 60 miles from us, and with just a couple of care visits a day). Then a few weeks later she was found on the floor by the morning carer and had probably been there for some hours. She was not considered safe to stay at home and we had to bring our plans forward very quickly. It was a huge relief that we already knew where we wanted mum to go otherwise we would have been running around like headless chickens trying to find somewhere quickly.
     
  10. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    Thank you very much for your advice & kind words.
    I wish there was some way to predict the course of this disease...
    I think you all are right to scope out some care homes now before a crisis occurs.
    We are fortunate (?) that MIL is mobility impaired so wandering is not an issue.
    She has been dependent for meals and drinks since she moved in 18 months ago, and is now pretty much on soup & cakes . We want to keep at her at home as long as possible & have planned to get carers in for increasing periods as her needs get greater.
    I guess we'll just see how we go.
    Thanks again.



    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    My mum's mobility was quite poor too and she had become too anxious to go out alone because she was afraid of falling. In a weird way this was for a while an advantage as we were confident she would not wander off and get lost. However, after the last fall she became too afraid to even try to stand and move despite heroic efforts from physios and OTs. It was this immobility that tipped the balance towards her moving to a care home, as otherwise she would have been stuck in a chair or bed all day and night except when carers came to move her and two of them would have been needed.

    We found several homes had a waiting list system where if a room became available they would contact you, but if you felt it was still too soon you could decide to just stay on the waiting list a bit longer. My other tip is to gather information before you visit by email eg brochures, contracts, terms and conditions, fees, whatever matters to you. This enabled us to rule out a few places which said honestly that their buildings were not suitable for mum and others who were so slow at responding that we felt they were not very on the ball generally.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.