I have been disabled for many years,mainly due to very poor eyesight.I am registered blind and a guide dog owner.My husband has been my carer for about 10 years,although I am pretty independent.18 months ago he was diagnosed with dementia and I am gradually having to do more and more around thee house( he is still able to go out alone and take care of himself as regards washing etc)
To make matters worse he is becoming increasingly picky and demanding ,for instance today it was cucumbers apparently the ones I buy are too thin,yesterday it was the mushrooms which were too small,everything I do is wrong.He also tells anyone who will listen that he spends all his time looking after me and never has a minute to himself.
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Hi!
My father has been my mums carer for many years..now he has dementia. My mums not at all independant like you.
I basically care for them both!
Sounds like the sensory team have been out not the proper care assessment of needs social worker. Doesnt suprise me theres not much help!!
Id ring your local carers project and speak to them..the reality is your husbands personality and behaviour has changed already..and there should be someone to help you.
The nurse from memory clinic should be offering you a support worker from the healrh board. Doesnt suprise me if they dont!
The local alz society officer can advise you on where to go who to speak to..sounds like the primary agencies havent been much help.
Try the national dementia helpline if you havent got the local alzheimers society officers number!..
Things will change as dementia is progressive..maybe talking might help you too. Ring the carers project they have counsellors too!
People with dementia dont always accept help...carers dont always accept help...help isnt always easy to find!..the alzheimers society can help you!
Might be worth asking rnib if they have an extra needs officer?..im sure they are aware of dementia too!
You should have by law a dedicated social worker a propper care assessment for you as a carer and yours and your husbands needs..if theyre not giving it theyre breaking the law...
Might be worth trying an advocate from the alzheimer society they can give you a voice..in times when you feel no ones listening!
Best wishes
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