What happens when two siblings have POA (not health and welfare) and one wants to spend whatever it costs to make the lone parent safe and happy in their own home and the other wants to avoid all expenses to protect their inheritance? It really makes me mad that those that benefit from a person's Will can also be in charge of that person's finances when they are no longer mentally able but that they have a vested interest in conserving the money. Can I get a third person inovolved?
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When POA is in the wrong hands
- Thread starter SMacGregor
- Start date
I'm not sure what you're expecting a third party to do. Is the power of attorney written that both attorneys work jointly or jointly and severally?
I suppose a third party- not either of the POA's other halves- could be asked to sit in on a arranged discussion - difficult to find someone neutral though.
Its quite difficult place to be. Are we talking vast sums of money? I my opinion ( and it is only that) there is little that money can buy to make a PWD Happy. What sort of things are we talking about?
'safe' maybe different- what sort of longevity to these things have? I can see that buying things that might make someone 'safer' for long time are with investing in, not so sure about short term things.
Depends what it is to an extent. Are either of these people doing the lions share of the caring, and what sort of sums are looking to be spent? A wetroom conversion can be worth the small fortune that it costs, a stairlift perhaps not so.
Its quite difficult place to be. Are we talking vast sums of money? I my opinion ( and it is only that) there is little that money can buy to make a PWD Happy. What sort of things are we talking about?
'safe' maybe different- what sort of longevity to these things have? I can see that buying things that might make someone 'safer' for long time are with investing in, not so sure about short term things.
Depends what it is to an extent. Are either of these people doing the lions share of the caring, and what sort of sums are looking to be spent? A wetroom conversion can be worth the small fortune that it costs, a stairlift perhaps not so.
I would go onto the web site carehome.co.uk.
I would find a nice glossy looking care home and obtain a brochure and a direct quote for the weekly cost. £1500 per week? I would say to the sibling given we can’t agree on keeping mum comfortable at home should we be considering this ?
I buy mum every gadget going! And pay for a gardener a cleaner and a carer when I am not here. When you set the costs against that of a care home it all looks very cheap.
You can hire independent social workers. Someone like that might be a good mediator? But that would not come cheap.
If it gets extreme you could consult adult safeguarding?
Is this about sibling rivalry or is he money obsessed?
Hi @SMcGregor, I think if possible the siblings should try and have a frank discussion about their different viewpoints. My husband is one of four siblings and the four of them very nearly fell out completely on the best way to care for their mother. All four adore her (as do I) and want the best for her, but all had very different ideas as to what that 'best' was. After a lot of text messages, phone calls and zoom meetings they've all compromised and have a plan (carers coming in) that is just about working. It won't work for long, but at least they are still talking to each other.
