I am new to this TP and I am hoping for support. My mum has been diagnosed with AD for 2 1/2 years but has had it for much longer. Mum lives with my Dad 2 hours from where I live. Dad isn't coping at all well any more and has finally admitted that he can't cope. She is incontinent and doesn't communicate much. I know it's awful to say , but she's empty now. She looks a bit like Mum but she's gone. When I spoke to him on the phone last week he said he felt like killing himself, he is depressed, but won't accept it. When me & my sisters ask him, he just says "Oh I was having a bad day - take no notice." We are so worried about them both. He just shouts at her constantly. Anyway, she is currently in hospital because she kept falling over and Dad couldn't pick her up. They thourght she'd had a stroke but apparently it's down to the tranquilizers that she had been taking and now she is off the medication & recovering her mobility. I think my dad is considering a care home. I have such mixed feelings, Is it too soon? I know he can't cope but I wish he could. A part of me feels angry at him. Then I feel soooo guilty that I can't help. What stage do other people make these decisions?