When is the time for care home?

[hippod]

My sister, who is 78, has a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and was assessed recently as not having capacity to deal with her finances. She lives alone and my daughter and myself do her shopping etc. She also has a career who goes in one a day to give her medication. My sister does not allow her to do any more.

Up until last week she was managing fine but starting last week she keeps going into her bank and demanding to withdraw money. I, as her LPA, have control of her finances.

The bank manager has been wonderful and has taken her into his office to try and explain why she cannot withdraw funds. I give her money every week but always tells them she has no money and no food. They have rung 101 and the first time an ambulance managed to talk her into leaving and took her home and the second time the police took her home.

I explain what the reason is that she can’t withdraw money but of course she forgets. Yesterday she was there for four hours before a policeman brought her home and checked she did have food.

Today though she turned up in a taxi and the bank manager very kindly paid (£30!) out of his own pocket and again she refused to leave. She was there for five hours, the ambulance couldn’t get her to leave and the police wouldn’t attend.

In the end the bank closed and the bank manager had to put her in a taxi and once again paid the driver.
I am going into the branch on Monday to settle up and see if we can sort out some strategies for the future.

I think we are now sadly nearing the time for her to go into a care home. My question is how do I proceed. Do I have to ask a professional to refer her? I have asked her doctor but she wasn’t particularly helpful and I’m not sure where to go from here.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @hippod

I hope the following factsheet may help.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/care-homes-who-decides-when

 

[Bunpoots]

What a difficult situation for you @hippod

If your sister has to get a taxi to go to the bank I wonder if ringing the local taxi companies and letting them know what's going on would help?
Perhaps let them know that she has dementia and therefore vunerable and will most likely not have the taxi fare.

When my dad got into a taxi and we lost him after he escaped from the local hospital (long story - shouldn't have happened!) We knew which taxi firm he favoured so called them. The second person we spoke to was very helpful and we found him - he'd given them the wrong address - the first person was useless and just kept quoting data protection at us!!

I know this isn't an ideal solution but it might help while you find a more permanent solution.

 

[hippod]

Thank you so much for the replies. Unfortunately, we live in central London so she hailed a black cab!

 

[hippod]

Thank you @granny G that is really helpful

 

[Rosettastone57]

My sister, who is 78, has a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and was assessed recently as not having capacity to deal with her finances. She lives alone and my daughter and myself do her shopping etc. She also has a career who goes in one a day to give her medication. My sister does not allow her to do any more.

Up until last week she was managing fine but starting last week she keeps going into her bank and demanding to withdraw money. I, as her LPA, have control of her finances.

The bank manager has been wonderful and has taken her into his office to try and explain why she cannot withdraw funds. I give her money every week but always tells them she has no money and no food. They have rung 101 and the first time an ambulance managed to talk her into leaving and took her home and the second time the police took her home.

I explain what the reason is that she can’t withdraw money but of course she forgets. Yesterday she was there for four hours before a policeman brought her home and checked she did have food.

Today though she turned up in a taxi and the bank manager very kindly paid (£30!) out of his own pocket and again she refused to leave. She was there for five hours, the ambulance couldn’t get her to leave and the police wouldn’t attend.

In the end the bank closed and the bank manager had to put her in a taxi and once again paid the driver.
I am going into the branch on Monday to settle up and see if we can sort out some strategies for the future.

I think we are now sadly nearing the time for her to go into a care home. My question is how do I proceed. Do I have to ask a professional to refer her? I have asked her doctor but she wasn’t particularly helpful and I’m not sure where to go from here.

If your sister is self-funding then you don't need a professional to refer her it's something you can organise yourself. If she's not self-funding then she would need some sort of assessment from social services and I'm sure others will be along shortly who have been through this process who can advise you. My mother-in-law was self-funding because she had more than £23,250 in savings and her own property. Last year my husband and I after a crisis organised and arranged for her to be assessed by a care home and she went straight from hospital to there .

 

[hippod]

Thank you for all your advice. Yes my sister will be self-funding, I am just getting my head around all this and this forum is so helpful

 

[Sirena]

As your sister is self funding you don't need to involve social services. You can find her a care home and get the manager to assess her to ensure they can meet her needs. That is what I did for my mother, she would probably have not agreed if I'd asked her, but she needed supervision 24/7 so I made the arrangements and told her she was going for a break. She's been there over a year now and is very content there.

I found a care home using this site, read the reviews and looked at the CQC reports and then visited a few. I chose her care home because it had a lovely welcoming atmosphere, the residents looked content (and clean and tidy) and the staff were cheerful. And no smell of wee!

https://www.carehome.co.uk/

 

[Witzend]

With my mother, who was self-funded, we arranged the care home ourselves, with no input from SS.
Quite frankly we didn't need anybody else to assess her or tell us what her needs were - we could see and understand all those perfectly well for ourselves.

I won't pretend that finding the right care home was quick or easy, but perseverance paid off in the end.

 

[hippod]

With my mother, who was self-funded, we arranged the care home ourselves, with no input from SS.
Quite frankly we didn't need anybody else to assess her or tell us what her needs were - we could see and understand all those perfectly well for ourselves.

I won't pretend that finding the right care home was quick or easy, but perseverance paid off in the end.

Thank you. I have arranged a viewing for Wednesday at the Home which seems the most suitable. Guess I'll just take it from there.