New to this site and I need some advice please:
My Father ( 2 hours away) and his partner both have various forms of dementia and at different stages. Whilst he is still capable of living a fairly independent life without the need of much day to day support, his partner has over a short period of 2 years progressed to a stage where he is now her full time carer, her cognitive thought process has gone and she is unable to remember very little and has to be instructed and guided to exist day to day and her LPA has now kicked in.
I became aware of this situation in October and have spent over a month with them to give him support. My Father is mentally and physically exhausted, with the constant needs to support her and keep her safe. This is compounded that she is not a relative of mine and they live in a remote area of the country with no services/amenities unless you can drive.
My concern is that my Father is 83 and having got Social Services involved, I have got the impression that they intend for her to live at home and just put in more care, which might be the right decision for her emotionally, but the continuing and increasing responsibility is having an impact with his own illness.
Please any advice on when is the right time for a care home? My plan is to move him (they have to move any way as his current house is not suitable so to minimise the stress - They are now living in two rooms!) Ideally I want him closer and to enjoy what time he has left and as there are current funds available place her in a private care home ( However these are quickly being eroded with her current care costs at a scary rate) locally to maintain contact with her.
My Father ( 2 hours away) and his partner both have various forms of dementia and at different stages. Whilst he is still capable of living a fairly independent life without the need of much day to day support, his partner has over a short period of 2 years progressed to a stage where he is now her full time carer, her cognitive thought process has gone and she is unable to remember very little and has to be instructed and guided to exist day to day and her LPA has now kicked in.
I became aware of this situation in October and have spent over a month with them to give him support. My Father is mentally and physically exhausted, with the constant needs to support her and keep her safe. This is compounded that she is not a relative of mine and they live in a remote area of the country with no services/amenities unless you can drive.
My concern is that my Father is 83 and having got Social Services involved, I have got the impression that they intend for her to live at home and just put in more care, which might be the right decision for her emotionally, but the continuing and increasing responsibility is having an impact with his own illness.
Please any advice on when is the right time for a care home? My plan is to move him (they have to move any way as his current house is not suitable so to minimise the stress - They are now living in two rooms!) Ideally I want him closer and to enjoy what time he has left and as there are current funds available place her in a private care home ( However these are quickly being eroded with her current care costs at a scary rate) locally to maintain contact with her.