When Is It Time to Consider a Care Home

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by JCA, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. JCA

    JCA Registered User

    Oct 24, 2014
    4
    My Dad has really gone down hill over the last few weeks. He doesn't really speak at all now and has double incontinence. He can still walk but is really struggling. We have now stepped up the carers that visit and they now call 4 times a day as up until this mum (83) was pretty much coping with everything. I'm concerned that we are doing the right thing in still keeping him at home. We all want him to stay at home for as long as possible but are we doing the right thing in making this decision. Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated.
     
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,181
    Would he be better cared for in a Nursing home?
    They have the expertise and equipment to prevent bedsores, etc, which will become more of a threat, as time goes by.
    There is also Mums welfare to consider.

    Bod
     
  3. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    IMO it is when:

    The person is no longer safe to be left alone at all

    Family can no longer cope with the level of care and supervision needed

    Carers popping in however often just isn't enough any more

    The person is anxious or frightened or agitated if left alone for even very short periods.

    Any or all of these, really. Of course there will be other reasons, too, but these are from our own experience of 3 relatives who eventually needed 24/7 residential care.
     
  4. always_hopeful

    always_hopeful Registered User

    May 7, 2012
    13
    I know its near on impossible but you have to try and take yourself out of the situation for a moment and really think hard on what is the best thing for everyone so that everyone can have the best life possible.
     
  5. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,585
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    #5 Linbrusco, Mar 18, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2015
    This a constant thought in my head.
    Mum was diagnsoed with AD in 2013 and lives with Dad in their own house behind ours.
    Without a doubt if Dad was not there, Mum would not be abke to live on her own at all, even with us there.
    She no longer cooks, cannot use the microwave, leaves the doors unlocked,has no perception of what is safe and isn't, has almost scalded herself getting into the shower without checking the temperature of the water first. On waking up she is quite disorientated even in her own home.

    Bu then... dad with cognitive impairment has no coping skills, or strategies let alone patience with Mum. At times he can be quite nasty regarding her lack of ability to do things. Personally I think he resents having to do so much of what was mums domain, cooking, housework, washing etc but refuses home help.
    He doesn't like strangers in his house. I can only do so much as I work part time, have 2 children and a husband with health needs.
    So in this respect if Mum declines further, without dad coping with it, Mum would be better off in a Care Home. Pains me to say it :(
     

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