Just hoping that so many people on this forum would have experience of this and may be able to help.
Mum's Vascular Dementia / Alyzheimers is now very pronounced and as she lives on her own we are becoming increasingly concerned about her health and wellbeing. I am coming around to the thought that Mum may be at a stage where living in a care facility would be better for her on so many levels, it will keep her safe, ensure she eats well, she will be able to socialise which will be so beneficial for her brain function, but I'm concerned about pushing for this too soon, or if we do it and Mum thrives I'll wish that we'd done it much sooner - I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Mum is generally very physically fit but her cognitive function is now very poor and she's recently had a great shock to her daily routine with the loss of her elderly dog, which has created a bit of a crisis, leading to talk of 'wanting to sleep and not wake up' and 'I need locking up in a hospital', lots of red flags being raised. Her appetite seems to be dwindling rapidly and her confusion is increasing, she's wandering in her village looking for either me ( I live 40 mins away) or the dog, phoning us in the middle of the night in a panic as she can't find her dog, knocking on neighbours doors, not dressed appropriately for the weather - you all know how it is.
Her kitchen facilities are down to a kettle, she can't read a book, doesn't put the TV on, won't listen to the radio and it's looking like such a sad, lonely isolated life and I could sit and cry sometimes when I watch her on camera.
Mum unfortunately last year absolutely refused any help from carers, we had to eventually cancel the care package we had in place and Mum is totally reliant on me, but I work full time, have been taking a day off weekly to go over and at the weekends but I'm constantly worrying that we aren't able to give to Mum what she needs.
FYI - we have a new needs assessment booked in with a social worker for next week - do I push to at least start the ball rolling to place Mum into care (she would be self funding with her home), even if it's not an immediate plan but something there for when we make a final decision? Not sure how to approach it with them as all conversations so far are pushing me to try a care package at home again.
Any advice?
Mum's Vascular Dementia / Alyzheimers is now very pronounced and as she lives on her own we are becoming increasingly concerned about her health and wellbeing. I am coming around to the thought that Mum may be at a stage where living in a care facility would be better for her on so many levels, it will keep her safe, ensure she eats well, she will be able to socialise which will be so beneficial for her brain function, but I'm concerned about pushing for this too soon, or if we do it and Mum thrives I'll wish that we'd done it much sooner - I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Mum is generally very physically fit but her cognitive function is now very poor and she's recently had a great shock to her daily routine with the loss of her elderly dog, which has created a bit of a crisis, leading to talk of 'wanting to sleep and not wake up' and 'I need locking up in a hospital', lots of red flags being raised. Her appetite seems to be dwindling rapidly and her confusion is increasing, she's wandering in her village looking for either me ( I live 40 mins away) or the dog, phoning us in the middle of the night in a panic as she can't find her dog, knocking on neighbours doors, not dressed appropriately for the weather - you all know how it is.
Her kitchen facilities are down to a kettle, she can't read a book, doesn't put the TV on, won't listen to the radio and it's looking like such a sad, lonely isolated life and I could sit and cry sometimes when I watch her on camera.
Mum unfortunately last year absolutely refused any help from carers, we had to eventually cancel the care package we had in place and Mum is totally reliant on me, but I work full time, have been taking a day off weekly to go over and at the weekends but I'm constantly worrying that we aren't able to give to Mum what she needs.
FYI - we have a new needs assessment booked in with a social worker for next week - do I push to at least start the ball rolling to place Mum into care (she would be self funding with her home), even if it's not an immediate plan but something there for when we make a final decision? Not sure how to approach it with them as all conversations so far are pushing me to try a care package at home again.
Any advice?
) and start looking seriously for a care home for your Mum. You are one of several people posting here who say they will wait until Covid precautions are lessening before thinking of organising residential care for their loved one. I suspect care homes will be extra cautious for a long time yet and also that there are hundreds more relatives out there who are thinking the same way, so that’s another reason to get things under way a.s.a.p. Your Mum is not going to improve if you wait any longer.
