Please excuse the length of this, it's my first time writing on here. I am the partner of a carer. His mother has been diagnosed with a series of issues including 2 types of Dementia one being Vascular Dementia, some form of schizophrenia and psychotic behavior and other issues all to do with Alzheimers & Dementia all in the last 24mths. He is an only child and sees it as his 'duty' to care for his mother. However over the course of 24mths she has not only become verbally aggressive but extremely violent. She has managed to 'see off' at least 12-15 carers the last one as recently as today (she resigned). She returned from a day-centre last Friday to the carer and promptly punched her in the mouth and took to leaving the house with the carer in close pursuit whilst on the phone to my partner to report the situation. Luckily he was in the area and managed to apprehend her before she got into any further problems. The carer resigned today and refuses to come back and she owned the care agency and is a Dementia nurse!! She has attempted to attack me and has drawn blood from him on countless occasions. If however, she has a visitor from outside that is not a carer she is the picture of politeness and as friendly as talkative as ever, almost like she has no form of dementia but in saying that she has also injured a close family friend by hitting her in the face with a chair whilst her son was out of the house for 5 minutes, almost like she waited for him to leave before she did it. She is always attempting to attack him but he manages to dodge or 'talk her down'. The grandchildren are scared of her and refuse to go to the house. These episodes only happen at the house & on one occasion whilst in a&e but only once the Dr had left the room and then she attacked her son. He has no real quality of life and she endlessly wanders, repeats actions, packs up all her belongings to leave the country to mention but a few things. Added to this he is now unable to leave me alone with her in the house let alone in the room - he stands guard at the bathroom door should I need to 'go'! There is no quality of life in the household, she refuses to feed herself (or can't or forgets to eat) so he is doing that too. Now without a carer he will have to do the bathroom duties with her also. He is locked in his room most of the time or she will constantly disturb his attempts to do any work - so that part of his life is seriously suffering. There is not an agency that will work with her and so all the caring facilities in the area have now been exhausted. On the 2 respite weeks he has had this year she is calm and seems happy, she was a carer and thinks she is back at work. At the day-centre, which happens only twice a week she is calm and seems to enjoy it, she becomes unbearable at home which is where she spends 90% of her time. My question is when is it enough dealing with an 83yo physically fit & very strong person with Alzheimers who has turned into what sometimes seems like a WWF wrestling champion seriously!. There are very few moments of calm recently it is heartbreaking to watch, without badgering him to look into care homes (not wanting to seem like I want to get rid of her) but watching 2 people spiral into despair. It's almost like he looks at her with disdain now and then remembers that she is his mother but from my view she is a danger to herself and to him. Does she need a change in medication a care home surely cannot be the last resort. Thanks for bothering to read this far.