1. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Just keep trying to tell my dear Lionel that I am going for my breast screening in the morning...... I am sure he underdstands......but he keeps forgetting.

    Where do we go from here. he is so 'understanding', but you and I know how far undestandig goes.
    #
    I do not know why I am so unforgiving. We have justs



    pent a lovely day at the beach. The wheelchair is invaluable, and has opened up new horizions, (and bad backs and knees ec....)

    Everything is fine, if it .

    applies to Lionel.......If it applies to me, it is a lottery.
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Grief, Connie, YOU 'unforgiving'?????

    I really don't think so.

    We carers are all on a long term losing streak - we can't win in the normal sense of being able to make everything better. But we can win by being there, and making things better than they might otherwise have been.

    We can win by continuing to love someone who has changed out of all recognition from the person we once knew, even if the nature of that love, and the person concerned. have changed.

    But no matter how much we tell ourselves that we are doing all we can, we still beat ourselves with metaphorical sticks because we can't even start to do all we would wish to do, and that devil inside us keeps reminding us that normal life is still continuing for most people outside our bubble of caring....so why don't we just throw in the towel and go there.

    We don't though, do we?

    In truth we have no real understanding of how much our loved one can comprehend, so complete is the mask that dementia gives them. I think many of us believe that they can understand far more than the casual observer realises, and therein lies the good and the bad.

    Good because we can feel that our efforts are really not in vain.

    Bad because we can imagine their inner frustration and pain.

    Our own frustration and pain may seem less in comparison?

    So glad you had a good day at the beach.

    Take care,
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Connie, Brucie is right, sending you a big hug, good luck with the screening, love She. XX
     
  4. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Hi Connie,

    Hope all went well today for you.

    Best wishes,

    Jude
     
  5. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Connie
    good luck,hope every thing goes ok for you.Warm wishes
    Norman
     
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Thanks for all your warm wishes. I was just feeling sorry for myself. Its the feeling of lonliness even when you are with the one you love. How do you discuss when they cannot really comprehend .

    We went to the beach after my scan. Lionel looks so well and happy. There is no 'me' anymore, there is only 'us'. Still I know I should not grumble, but thats the beauty of TP, we can tell it like it is. Love to all, Connie
     
  7. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hey Connie,

    believe me - there is YOU, despite everything seeming US. You have just had to go a bit dormant, as it were, for the moment. We all have just so much energy and opportunity and sometimes we have to cut back on what we do, who we are.

    I've met you. You are great. Hang on in there!
     
  8. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Connie,

    We all have 'those days' when we feel lonely, isolated and unable to see ourselves as a separate being from AD. That's why TP is such a help.

    Best wishes,

    Jude
     

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