This is long, and I'm sorry. Have so many questions and it's good to just get it all out. Have been caring for my mom for nine years. My step dad died in 2007 and since they lived 4 1/2 hours away, mom decided to move closer to me. That first year or two were just wonderful!!! Then the nightmare began. She started falling. In 2012 she broke her left arm THREE times!!! All the necessary legal documents were in place and that year my brother and I took over everything. He lives 3 hours away, so I am the one who is involved in her care 24/7 and he works with her financial advisor. She lives in a beautiful retirement community. Has a very nice apartment in an Independent living community. In 2012, she needed extra help with things and I contracted with a private home health agency for that. Every year since, we have increased the services she receives and last year, we opted for their total care package. She has a nursing assistant assigned to her each day from 7am to 7pm. They pop in and out and help her get dressed, give her baths, give her meds, walk her to dining room for meals and back to her apartment and give a night check before they leave. They check in on her every 2 hours - sometimes more if she is having a bad day. After the most recent fall 3 weeks ago, our lives have been turned up side down!!! Finally her GP ordered an MRI of her brain. She is having many tiny mini strokes and has been having them seemingly for years - even prior to moving here. The cumulative result is multi infarct dementia. Since the last fall, she is anxious, agitated and scared all the time. Her phone has become her security blanket and sometimes she calls me every 10 minutes begging me to come get her and "take her home". One day she called me over 20 times and my husband several times. It's breaking me. Such agony!! She has used every manipulative tool in a human's mental tool box to try to get me to do what she wants. I try to speak words of encouragement to her and assure her that she is in a safe place. She has told me I need to do better - that I don't love her or I would help her. I'm doing all I can!! Where "home" is, she can't tell you. I've asked her to describe where it is she wants to be. All she knows is that she doesn't want to be where she is anymore. Every day she begs me to come get her and bring her to my house if she can't "go home". My house doesn't work for her either. It's a two story with all bedrooms up. In 2007 she was staying with me until I could get her apartment set up at the retirement community and she fell down the stairs. Had to have stitches above one of her eyes. My brother has the same situation with bedrooms at his home, so we have been using her money to pay for the extra help she needs to stay where she is at. Her GP has changed her meds around several times trying to find something that will help with the anxiety. I've just placed another call to his nurse this morning. My own health is being impacted in a negative way. I jump every time the phone rings, so I changed her ringtone on my Iphone and this helps some. How long does this go on? Even though she was just recently diagnosed, those mini strokes have been killing her brain cells for years. I'm running out of steam. I'm running two households, plus plus plus.... Am back and forth to her apartment sometimes several times a day. Had to shut down my home based business last year. Don't know how long she will be able to stay where she is because now she sometimes wanders up and down the halls begging everyone she sees for help. The nursing assistant tries to intervene, but since this is an all independent living place, mom's antics are causing a stir. How long does this go on? Mom will be 91 this month! Thanks for reading, listening. Even though I live in the US, this forum is THE best!!! You all are such caring and encouraging people. The US based Alzheimer's forum just isn't - well, as good.