When do you make THE decision?

[Dibleyblue]

My Mum has AZ/D and has been living is assisted housing... she is very lucky by all accounts... she has carers 4 times a day when she's home but goes to a day centre specifically for AZ and Dementia residents 4 days a week... My husband and I see and take her out 2 days a week usually Wednesday and Saturday and Sundays she sometimes has on her own, sometimes a meal with the family. The carers and Day centre have noticed that she is becoming more aggressive and confused recently and I am going to take her to the doctor to rule out any infections... but these episodes seem to happen more and more frequently... she says she is lonely, as she is home by 4pm and wanders around most of the night... even though the doctor has given her something to help her sleep. I don't know if we should start looking at residential/care homes... when do you make the decision? it will be me that decides because although I have 3 brothers they never come near or by.... how do you know if and when is the right time...its making my heart hurt....

 

[daisydi]

My Mum has AZ/D and has been living is assisted housing... she is very lucky by all accounts... she has carers 4 times a day when she's home but goes to a day centre specifically for AZ and Dementia residents 4 days a week... My husband and I see and take her out 2 days a week usually Wednesday and Saturday and Sundays she sometimes has on her own, sometimes a meal with the family. The carers and Day centre have noticed that she is becoming more aggressive and confused recently and I am going to take her to the doctor to rule out any infections... but these episodes seem to happen more and more frequently... she says she is lonely, as she is home by 4pm and wanders around most of the night... even though the doctor has given her something to help her sleep. I don't know if we should start looking at residential/care homes... when do you make the decision? it will be me that decides because although I have 3 brothers they never come near or by.... how do you know if and when is the right time...its making my heart hurt....

I felt just like you but the decision was taken out of my hands when social services became involved. I blubbed all the way through the "meeting" and really didn't have much choice in the matter. My mum used to go to bed whenever she got home so I had a constant battle with trying to keep her at my house until a reasonable bed time. It is all so sad. Good luck with your decision. I must admit that mum is much better off in the care home as she has someone around her 24/7 and she is no longer lonely. We never told her that she wasn't coming home but I dont really think she would want to now. She is safe and well cared for and I cant ask for any more than that even though I hate the situation.