Hi every one.
I've been reading some of the TP's to try to get some advice but nothing seems to quite fit my problem. I found a number of messages about AD sufferers who have gone into a care home and are asking to go home but in our case it's slightly different and I wondered if anyone else had a similar problem and how they dealt with it.
Dad has lived with his partner for over 7 years now but he has started asking me when I’m going to take him home. Sometimes it seems to be because he thinks that where he lives now is someone elses house and whispers "we shouldn't be here". At other times he knows he lives there with Hazel, his partner, but he's been saying “I’m going to have a cry now because I going home and won’t see you anymore”.
There’s quite a lot going on at the moment which I think probably has something to do with this. They are moving house in the next couple of weeks with all that that entails and this has definitely unsettled him.
Every time I see him he asks me “Are you taking me home now?” when I ring him he asks me “when are you coming to take me home?” I’ve tried changing the subject and I’ve tried pacifying him with things like “not today Dad" or "stay here for now and I’ll be back to see you on ……” etc.
Now, as they will be moving shortly I’ve tried saying, “not just yet Dad, but you’ll be moving soon” which feels better as it’s not a lie.
But this week he got quite annoyed and told me to “stop leading him on”. It’s as if he is very sure of what he wants. When Hazel asks him why he wants to leave her he just says “he has to go home”. She tries to tell him she needs him and would like him to stay with her which we thought was helping but now he waits till she’s not in the room and quietly asks me “you are going to take me home soon aren’t you?”
I’m dreading the actual move because I know he won't think of the new place as home. More than once when they’ve gone to the new flat he’s said to Hazel in an exasperated tone “what are we doing here again?”.
I’m trying to think of ways to make it feel like he’s moving to his own home but I'm not sure how when he sometimes doesn't recognise his current environment?
Sorry I’ve gone on a bit but has anyone else had a similar situation?
Thanks for reading this.
Carol
I've been reading some of the TP's to try to get some advice but nothing seems to quite fit my problem. I found a number of messages about AD sufferers who have gone into a care home and are asking to go home but in our case it's slightly different and I wondered if anyone else had a similar problem and how they dealt with it.
Dad has lived with his partner for over 7 years now but he has started asking me when I’m going to take him home. Sometimes it seems to be because he thinks that where he lives now is someone elses house and whispers "we shouldn't be here". At other times he knows he lives there with Hazel, his partner, but he's been saying “I’m going to have a cry now because I going home and won’t see you anymore”.
There’s quite a lot going on at the moment which I think probably has something to do with this. They are moving house in the next couple of weeks with all that that entails and this has definitely unsettled him.
Every time I see him he asks me “Are you taking me home now?” when I ring him he asks me “when are you coming to take me home?” I’ve tried changing the subject and I’ve tried pacifying him with things like “not today Dad" or "stay here for now and I’ll be back to see you on ……” etc.
Now, as they will be moving shortly I’ve tried saying, “not just yet Dad, but you’ll be moving soon” which feels better as it’s not a lie.
But this week he got quite annoyed and told me to “stop leading him on”. It’s as if he is very sure of what he wants. When Hazel asks him why he wants to leave her he just says “he has to go home”. She tries to tell him she needs him and would like him to stay with her which we thought was helping but now he waits till she’s not in the room and quietly asks me “you are going to take me home soon aren’t you?”
I’m dreading the actual move because I know he won't think of the new place as home. More than once when they’ve gone to the new flat he’s said to Hazel in an exasperated tone “what are we doing here again?”.
I’m trying to think of ways to make it feel like he’s moving to his own home but I'm not sure how when he sometimes doesn't recognise his current environment?
Sorry I’ve gone on a bit but has anyone else had a similar situation?
Thanks for reading this.
Carol