Dear Connie
I have put mum in respite a few times now and will be maybe doing so again next week. I always miss her when she isn't here (except the sundowning which I find incredibley wearing) and I sometimes cry on my twice daily visits when she's in there. It's just this illness, it is such a sad ailment and as far as I'm concerned when a person gets alzheimer's or dementia, the nearest and dearest has it too, all be it in different symptoms. Your feelings of sadness are perfectly normal and they won't go away. I think behind it we carers feel guilty putting our loved ones in respite, as it feels like a betrayal of sorts, but is very necessary if we are to carry on keeping them at home for as long as we possibly can.
Try to enjoy just a little of the me time, it will do Lionel good too when you are refreshed. It also makes us appreciate that we miss the person, as a person and not as the dementia sufferer we have to look after, if you know what I mean!
Relax a little, respite will be over all too soon.
Best wishes