Here's a deal for you, anyone that will pay my passage over to the UK, I will clean your house!! 
Debbie
Debbie
Wheee! Highlight of the day
- Thread starter Brucie
- Start date
Cheap deal... anyone knows that a carer can walk on water, so there are no fares involved.
Carers never need to sleep, so no cost there.
Carers never have time to eat.....
Like I say, cheap deal...
When can I expect you?
Carers never need to sleep, so no cost there.
Carers never have time to eat.....
Like I say, cheap deal...
When can I expect you?
And can be in at least 3 different places at once when there's about 2-3 hours' travelling time between them.
Lila
Lila
Brucie said:Cheap deal... anyone knows that a carer can walk on water, so there are no fares involved.
Carers never need to sleep, so no cost there.
Carers never have time to eat.....
Like I say, cheap deal...
When can I expect you?
Originally Posted by Brucie
Cheap deal... anyone knows that a carer can walk on water, so there are no fares involved.
Rummy
according to this you could walk over ?
Norman
Cheap deal... anyone knows that a carer can walk on water, so there are no fares involved.
Rummy
according to this you could walk over ?
Norman
ah, If that were only true ! I'd be there in a snap and we could all have a get together ! It would be fun to exchange war stories in person wouldn't it?
I'll bring the Texas BBQ and you bring the fish and chips
(then I'll clean up!)
Debbie
I'll bring the Texas BBQ and you bring the fish and chips
(then I'll clean up!)
Debbie
Went to see mum this afternoon, with the intention of taking her up to her room to watch a musical DVD that I'd bought. (I don't know what she actually takes in, but she used to enjoy them, and it's a way we can spend time together.) Any way it was a nice afternoon so I asked to borrow a wheelchair, with the help of carers wrapped her up and wheeled her home. First time that she has been home since she went in NH in January. It was so good to see her back at home; dad was quite chuff. There was a sad moment when he put on an Eva Cassidy favourite, but it was OK. We took her back to the NH at teatime, and I left them both there. It was quite a big step for us though; now I'm looking forward to doing it again, and next time for a little longer. Mum was smiling when we were at home, and she was smiling when we took her back to the NH, she seems OK with her life.
Wow, how I miss her, what I would give for the opportunity to sit and talk and connect with her, mother to daughter.
Amy
Wow, how I miss her, what I would give for the opportunity to sit and talk and connect with her, mother to daughter.
Amy
Boy do I feel the same. My Mom and I have been best friends all my adult life and I miss "that" Mom so much. I just try not to think about it because it will get me down if I do. I just take care of "this" Mom and hope I'll see "that" Mom in the hereafter!Amy said:
Debbie
Hi Amy and Debbie
'Wow, how I miss her, what I would give for the opportunity to sit and talk and connect with her, mother to daughter.'
Me too. It hurts unbearably sometimes, doesn't it? It gets to me when I go to our local shopping mall and see other daughters with their mothers, out for lunch together or shopping - I want to go up to them and tell them to cherish every moment (but of course I don't!)
I'm going to the nh today to spend the day with Mum, and Dad's having a 'day off' - I know it'll be lovely to be together but that afterwards I'll feel sad - a day spent trying to connect with her (I can't help trying) dredges up all the grief that I usually manage to contain deep inside (otherwise I'd be crying all the time!)
Hang in there, and I will too.
Love, Jane
'Wow, how I miss her, what I would give for the opportunity to sit and talk and connect with her, mother to daughter.'
Me too. It hurts unbearably sometimes, doesn't it? It gets to me when I go to our local shopping mall and see other daughters with their mothers, out for lunch together or shopping - I want to go up to them and tell them to cherish every moment (but of course I don't!)
I'm going to the nh today to spend the day with Mum, and Dad's having a 'day off' - I know it'll be lovely to be together but that afterwards I'll feel sad - a day spent trying to connect with her (I can't help trying) dredges up all the grief that I usually manage to contain deep inside (otherwise I'd be crying all the time!)
Hang in there, and I will too.
Love, Jane
Have a lovely day with your Mom Jane, she may not know the name of the flower but she will still know it smells good.
Debbie
Debbie
Went to see dad today in his respite care nursing home (from hell!). Dreading it 'cos yesterday (his first day there) he was so desperately distressed and lost ..... and I felt unspeakably awful. They'd had him in incontinence pads which he doesn't use and he couldn't seem to talk to me and just kept trying to take his trousers off, over and over for nearly 2 hours. Today he's sitting bright in his chair, big smile, looking at family photos and chattering away. God what a relief. I know that tomorrow it could be back to being awful again ..... but just tonight I can sleep with thoughts of his smile rather than his tears. And I'm hoping I've found him a better nh to be in that he can move to next week. Don't want to keep moving him around, but he can't stay where he is, it's not good.
I love your saying about the flower Debbie - I'll remember it when Mum doesn't seem to know me. We did have a lovely day yesterday - laughing and smiling, and when the carers came to put her to bed I said night night and she said God bless, which was what we always said when I was a kid. Seemingly such a small thing, but what joy!
Aine, I'm glad it looks like you've found a better nh for your Dad, and that he was happy yesterday - hope things continue to improve. Let us know how its going, won't you?
Aine, I'm glad it looks like you've found a better nh for your Dad, and that he was happy yesterday - hope things continue to improve. Let us know how its going, won't you?
Last Night
... full of dread, we drove to the home to see my Mum, who'd been miserable last time. We're off for a five day break on Monday (I'm so tired, I can't even think straight, and I desperately need a holiday), so I was dreading another 'bad' visit as a memory to take with me. I can't afford the excess weight of the Guilt Monster in the hand luggage ...
And she was sitting in the lounge, nattering to a lovely old lady she's befriended who's going to be 96 today, and had been teaching one of the care assistants to knit. The occasional few seconds of 'I want to go home', but not the endless onslaught. The staff said she'd been mostly very settled this week (her second), and has an appetite like a horse. She's even started to decide she might quite like the old market town (the staff take her and a couple of the other residents round the weekly market). She was so engrossed, she didn't even follow us to to the door when we left. I slept more soundly last night than in a long time.
So ... there are good days. Thank heavens last night was one of them.
... full of dread, we drove to the home to see my Mum, who'd been miserable last time. We're off for a five day break on Monday (I'm so tired, I can't even think straight, and I desperately need a holiday), so I was dreading another 'bad' visit as a memory to take with me. I can't afford the excess weight of the Guilt Monster in the hand luggage ...
And she was sitting in the lounge, nattering to a lovely old lady she's befriended who's going to be 96 today, and had been teaching one of the care assistants to knit. The occasional few seconds of 'I want to go home', but not the endless onslaught. The staff said she'd been mostly very settled this week (her second), and has an appetite like a horse. She's even started to decide she might quite like the old market town (the staff take her and a couple of the other residents round the weekly market). She was so engrossed, she didn't even follow us to to the door when we left. I slept more soundly last night than in a long time.
So ... there are good days. Thank heavens last night was one of them.
Hi Dave,
have a great time and enjoy!!
I visited mum last night, and on my arrival, as I walked towards the door,
I thought "my hands feel cold and I know what mums going to say",
As I entered the lounge door, I acknowledged the staff with "good evening" and politely the staff responded.
I saw mum on all fours near the window, and realised
"oh well, mum did that at home", and to ditto comments from yesterday,
Does it really matter, mums not in any bother, and looked comfortable and happy....my response being probably slightly different than dads!!!
Anyway, mum responded to me, holding her hand with "bl**dy hell"
my exact thought moments earlier
I took mum to a side lounge, and managed to partly straighten her up, briefly,(bad back stuff) and told of my highlight while singing to her in my best voice,
being earlier in the day Frank Sinatra played on the radio
" Loves been good to me" - 60`s era
my mum asked me to buy this, "my first ever record" with my first ever record token, memories, eh.......
take care.......
jakky
have a great time and enjoy!!
I visited mum last night, and on my arrival, as I walked towards the door,
I thought "my hands feel cold and I know what mums going to say",
As I entered the lounge door, I acknowledged the staff with "good evening" and politely the staff responded.
I saw mum on all fours near the window, and realised
"oh well, mum did that at home", and to ditto comments from yesterday,
Does it really matter, mums not in any bother, and looked comfortable and happy....my response being probably slightly different than dads!!!
Anyway, mum responded to me, holding her hand with "bl**dy hell"
my exact thought moments earlier
I took mum to a side lounge, and managed to partly straighten her up, briefly,(bad back stuff) and told of my highlight while singing to her in my best voice,
being earlier in the day Frank Sinatra played on the radio
" Loves been good to me" - 60`s era
my mum asked me to buy this, "my first ever record"
with my first ever record token, memories, eh....... take care.......
jakky
One of the wonderful things about revising my expectations ever downwards is that I learn to enjoy the smallest of things. Dad's discovered quite a passion for "Snakes and Ladders". His co-ordination isn't brilliant, and I ended up teasing him about knocking my counter off the board and "cheating". He thought a bit and then said "it's not cheating, it's technique!" He's never really been one for joking around so this was quite something for dad. And a huge acheivement for someone who couldn't keep his trousers on for more than 5 minutes a couple of days ago
He's never really been one for joking around so this was quite something for dad. And a huge acheivement for someone who couldn't keep his trousers on for more than 5 minutes a couple of days ago
Yesterday was a bummer as I visited my first nursing home. Supposed to be the best in town and it smelled like poop and other things not recognizable. I left there depressed. One because it cost $4000 a month, two because it smelled awful and three because I can't imagine ever putting my Mom there.
I am just trying to do some homework so if there is an immediate need, the search will have been done and for the future just incase it becomes necesary.
Today has been good. Mom came over so I could cut and color her hair. She rarely takes care of it anymore and it is always plastered to her head. It is a feat to get her to let me take care of it. But she has agreed to let me "do" it for her of Fridays from now on. Hey, its progress anyway.
We had a chatty time and she looked a bit like the old Mom. I'll go over later for Friday happy hour for a glass of wine with the folks and I think I can call the day a good one.
Cheers,
Debbie
I am just trying to do some homework so if there is an immediate need, the search will have been done and for the future just incase it becomes necesary.
Today has been good. Mom came over so I could cut and color her hair. She rarely takes care of it anymore and it is always plastered to her head. It is a feat to get her to let me take care of it. But she has agreed to let me "do" it for her of Fridays from now on. Hey, its progress anyway.
We had a chatty time and she looked a bit like the old Mom. I'll go over later for Friday happy hour for a glass of wine with the folks and I think I can call the day a good one.
Cheers,
Debbie
Hope you manage to find somewhere better than that for your mum Debbie. Maybe to some extent it's inevitable that places smell sometimes ....... ? What I'm looking for is gentle staff with good communication and an environment that feels relaxed and OK to visit in ..... the rest can be sorted. In UK there's this excellent website that gives run down on social care inspections ........ maybe there's similar in USA, so you can get a more overall sense of whether place is OK or not.
My very limited, but painfully found, experience is that places don't seem quite so bad on a second visit.
edited: maybe I should say what I mean by that: when the place and people are a little more familiar, I think it seems a little less daunting and a little more possible to make small changes for the better.
My very limited, but painfully found, experience is that places don't seem quite so bad on a second visit.
edited: maybe I should say what I mean by that: when the place and people are a little more familiar, I think it seems a little less daunting and a little more possible to make small changes for the better.
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Hi Debbie
I've been in homes and assessment wards in hospitals in the UK that reek of urine and are depressing and distressing.
I've been in their equivalents - homes anyway - where that is not the case.
It is thus not inevitable that the places smell, so it may be worth checking out some more, if they exist!
Many people make the point that when their loved one goes in for assessment or respite, the place immediately puts incontinence pads on them. For all concerned this is disturbing, because as far as I have observed, once they have been used, they need to be used forever thereafter.
The trouble is that the places just do it automatically, regardless of the stage of dementia the person has, and this means that they in effect make some people incontinent when that need not be so.
Where people really need the pads, their use probably means that the home does not smell, and it may simply be that use of pads universally, regardless of need and effect, makes for less smelly care homes.
One of those things where we have to balance things to figure out the least worst...
I've been in homes and assessment wards in hospitals in the UK that reek of urine and are depressing and distressing.
I've been in their equivalents - homes anyway - where that is not the case.
It is thus not inevitable that the places smell, so it may be worth checking out some more, if they exist!
Many people make the point that when their loved one goes in for assessment or respite, the place immediately puts incontinence pads on them. For all concerned this is disturbing, because as far as I have observed, once they have been used, they need to be used forever thereafter.
The trouble is that the places just do it automatically, regardless of the stage of dementia the person has, and this means that they in effect make some people incontinent when that need not be so.
Where people really need the pads, their use probably means that the home does not smell, and it may simply be that use of pads universally, regardless of need and effect, makes for less smelly care homes.
One of those things where we have to balance things to figure out the least worst...
Whee Highlights of the day
Cooking?
I know my ktchen worktop is not very tidy,esp since I have been doing all of the cooking,(anna has alzheimers)I have a practise of putting fat from the frying pan into a cup for re-use,Anna is still a compulsive cleaner,I must tell you that bacon fried in lemon fresh detergent doesnt taste the same!A tip where I live there is a hose pipe ban due to shortage of rain,my tip is to sprinkle the grass with Carlsberg or Guiness,then it will come up half cut!
Cooking?
I know my ktchen worktop is not very tidy,esp since I have been doing all of the cooking,(anna has alzheimers)I have a practise of putting fat from the frying pan into a cup for re-use,Anna is still a compulsive cleaner,I must tell you that bacon fried in lemon fresh detergent doesnt taste the same!A tip where I live there is a hose pipe ban due to shortage of rain,my tip is to sprinkle the grass with Carlsberg or Guiness,then it will come up half cut!
