Don't give up on them
Just though of another bright moment,
My brother was coming to visit and I had twisted his arm to visit dad as well, who he hasn't seen for a year and has not seen since he went to live permanently in a home.
Anyway I knew that my brother was quite hurt by my Dad's 'new personality' in the past and that he would be quite reluctant to visit Dad so the day before I had a special chat to Dad.
I told Dad (these days I can't tell if he understands me most of the time but I thought I'd give it a go) that his boy was coming to visit, that he was coming a long way to see him and that I was going to set Dad some homework for the occasion. (Dad was always very studious) I said to him that his homework was to use every one of his brain cells to try to think of something to say to 'Greg' when he came to visit, so Greg would know he (Dad) was still here. I repeated this 'homework' to dad a few times during my visit and crossed my fingers when I went home, with nothing else to go on as Dad can't answer me or show any signs of understanding or agreement.
The next day, I dragged my brother in to visit Dad and when we arrived at the home they told us he was in bed. So I dragged my brother into his room and as we walked in Dad's eyes opened, saw Greg, focused, looked right at him and then Dad said 'Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy' with a real look of delight. Greg was shocked and over the moon, even more so when I pointed out that I hadn't heard Dad ever say that phrase, (he has some favourite words) and generally one word is the best you can get.
But there was more, then Greg jokes to Dad that he's glad Dad's not going bald cos that might mean he won't, and I said, nuh-uh thats got nothing to do with Dad's genes you get that one from Mum. And then Dad started laughing, still looking at Greg, but laughing (in a nice teasing Dad way). My mum's dad was completely bald as long as we can remember him!
Anyway, I still smile now when I think of my brother walking around the garden with my Dad that day,(they went outside later) Dad held his hand and kept looking at him and smiling. My brother even whispered to me, 'He's not even looking at you.'
And I was SO happy, my brother had his Dad back for an hour, and my Dad had made sure my brother knew he was still in there, somewhere!
Just though of another bright moment,
My brother was coming to visit and I had twisted his arm to visit dad as well, who he hasn't seen for a year and has not seen since he went to live permanently in a home.
Anyway I knew that my brother was quite hurt by my Dad's 'new personality' in the past and that he would be quite reluctant to visit Dad so the day before I had a special chat to Dad.
I told Dad (these days I can't tell if he understands me most of the time but I thought I'd give it a go) that his boy was coming to visit, that he was coming a long way to see him and that I was going to set Dad some homework for the occasion. (Dad was always very studious) I said to him that his homework was to use every one of his brain cells to try to think of something to say to 'Greg' when he came to visit, so Greg would know he (Dad) was still here. I repeated this 'homework' to dad a few times during my visit and crossed my fingers when I went home, with nothing else to go on as Dad can't answer me or show any signs of understanding or agreement.
The next day, I dragged my brother in to visit Dad and when we arrived at the home they told us he was in bed. So I dragged my brother into his room and as we walked in Dad's eyes opened, saw Greg, focused, looked right at him and then Dad said 'Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy' with a real look of delight. Greg was shocked and over the moon, even more so when I pointed out that I hadn't heard Dad ever say that phrase, (he has some favourite words) and generally one word is the best you can get.
But there was more, then Greg jokes to Dad that he's glad Dad's not going bald cos that might mean he won't, and I said, nuh-uh thats got nothing to do with Dad's genes you get that one from Mum. And then Dad started laughing, still looking at Greg, but laughing (in a nice teasing Dad way). My mum's dad was completely bald as long as we can remember him!
Anyway, I still smile now when I think of my brother walking around the garden with my Dad that day,(they went outside later) Dad held his hand and kept looking at him and smiling. My brother even whispered to me, 'He's not even looking at you.'
And I was SO happy, my brother had his Dad back for an hour, and my Dad had made sure my brother knew he was still in there, somewhere!
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