One of the best pressies my Mum had when she was in later stage, was a "beany bear" my son got her for Christmas. A fluffy teddy bear that you put into the microwave to warm. We couldnt use a hot water bottle because she tried to empty it and we were afraid of her scalding herself. She loved it, she called it Bruno and she cuddled it as she settled down to sleep. It seemed to comfort her a lot. My son put it into the coffin with her when she died so she still has it now. Love She. XX
Wheee! Highlight of the day
- Thread starter Brucie
- Start date
Thank you all for your ideas. Sheila, I've seen the type of thing you're talking about and I think that's a fantastic idea, as she regularly has cold hands. I may get her one, and depending on when I see her it can be either for her birthday or just a gift. She may have felt patronised at being given a toy, but as it has the practical use I think she'll like it. Thank you very much.
It is so difficult to get presents, I agree, she has no interest in flowers any more (although surely they must make her surroundings more pleasant). SHe uses the same make up and toiletries, purse and handbag (even though she is regularly bought new ones as gifts). Chocolates etc are given away and anyway she is diabetic so we need to be careful.
It is so difficult to get presents, I agree, she has no interest in flowers any more (although surely they must make her surroundings more pleasant). SHe uses the same make up and toiletries, purse and handbag (even though she is regularly bought new ones as gifts). Chocolates etc are given away and anyway she is diabetic so we need to be careful.
Hi Katy
with Jan, she can't see or touch flowers, but she does seem to get pleasure when I say I have brought some. This begs the question of course as to whether there need to be flowers, just the statement there are some. I just take them in occasionally as Jan always loved them.
I also say her family has asked after her. This is like the fictional flowers.....
with Jan, she can't see or touch flowers, but she does seem to get pleasure when I say I have brought some. This begs the question of course as to whether there need to be flowers, just the statement there are some. I just take them in occasionally as Jan always loved them.
I also say her family has asked after her. This is like the fictional flowers.....
So sorry to detect the particularly sad note in your last message, Bruce - your daily visits must get harder and more upsetting every time Jan deteriorates further, and for her not to be able to appreciate the treats you bring her must be very frustrating and upsetting because it means so much to you to shower her with love and kindness.
You and Norman are right: the most important things family and carers can do are the little things that bring a bit of love and light relief into every day, however ordinary or special. At the same time, though, it helps us to mark special occasions or do something spontaneous once in a while - to lift our own spirits and not give in altogether to this wretched disease .... And as we will never give up trying to elicit that special smile, we will keep thinking of little 'gifts' of all sorts.
No harm in that, is there?!
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you and Jan! Best wishes, Carmen
You and Norman are right: the most important things family and carers can do are the little things that bring a bit of love and light relief into every day, however ordinary or special. At the same time, though, it helps us to mark special occasions or do something spontaneous once in a while - to lift our own spirits and not give in altogether to this wretched disease .... And as we will never give up trying to elicit that special smile, we will keep thinking of little 'gifts' of all sorts.
No harm in that, is there?!
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you and Jan! Best wishes, Carmen
I also picked up that from Bruce's message, as Carmen did.
So sorry to hear that Jan is not doing so good.
It was so lovely to see yourself and Jan when you were on This Morning.
It's all so sad.
Take care.
Karen
So sorry to hear that Jan is not doing so good.
It was so lovely to see yourself and Jan when you were on This Morning.
It's all so sad.
Take care.
Karen
I, too, noticed that Bruce sounded down and that Jan was not so well. Bruce, you always have time to offer advice and a kind word for everyone on this forum. I hope you know that we are all thinking of you and wishing both you and Jan well.
With best wishes.
Jan
With best wishes.
Jan
Hi Carmen, Karen & Jan
Thanks for your kind words.
Yes, we all have ups and downs.
Jan has a mixture of [at least] Alzheimer's and vascular dementias. Both have different profiles of decline [gradual versus stepwise], and it gets complicated to 'read' Jan's condition.
Each time she has a bad day, I think "has she gone down another step or has the medication been changed or has she an infection or have I come at the wrong time of day or...etc"
Only time tells whether the change is fleeting or not. We have been fortunate to have a time recently, the past few months, where the slow decline has been in progress, but since a major seizure recently, she has been noticeably worse. This has not been helped by a bladder infection.
So now I'm getting no real response from Jan, and she also has difficulty in managing the treats I take in.
I guess it is the sheer inevitability of it all!
So, roll on tomorrow.... maybe there'll be a temporary improvement.......
Thanks for your kind words.
Yes, we all have ups and downs.
Jan has a mixture of [at least] Alzheimer's and vascular dementias. Both have different profiles of decline [gradual versus stepwise], and it gets complicated to 'read' Jan's condition.
Each time she has a bad day, I think "has she gone down another step or has the medication been changed or has she an infection or have I come at the wrong time of day or...etc"
Only time tells whether the change is fleeting or not. We have been fortunate to have a time recently, the past few months, where the slow decline has been in progress, but since a major seizure recently, she has been noticeably worse. This has not been helped by a bladder infection.
So now I'm getting no real response from Jan, and she also has difficulty in managing the treats I take in.
I guess it is the sheer inevitability of it all!
So, roll on tomorrow.... maybe there'll be a temporary improvement.......
Hi Katie
thanks!
I think her infection has cleared up but since she has been so sleepy the past week I asked if her medication had been changed [my standing instructions are for them to tell me if that happens].
Apparently after her last fit they changed her regular stuff [Paroxetine] to Trazidone. That was because the previous stuff was prone to making strokes more likely.
So that may be dragging her down as well.
thanks!
I think her infection has cleared up but since she has been so sleepy the past week I asked if her medication had been changed [my standing instructions are for them to tell me if that happens].
Apparently after her last fit they changed her regular stuff [Paroxetine] to Trazidone. That was because the previous stuff was prone to making strokes more likely.
So that may be dragging her down as well.
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Having a 'good' week
Last Saturday, I lost a small, brown stud earring (Tiger Eye), which was a present from my husband over 30 years ago - it was found in a public place about 20 miles from where I live (the 'butterfly' turned up in the car) and returned to me today!
When I was chopping up cards for our daughter's wedding, I sliced into my thumb with the guillotine - but not enough to need stitches!
Yesterday, in a hurry to get back home and in an attempt not to inconvenience someone else (long story!), I had a nasty accident which left me battered and bruised - but not enough to stop me getting back and looking after my husband.
They say 'all good things come in three' ......
What's all this got to do with TP?
Well, earlier this week I read Brucie's comment about the crushing responsbility of looking after a spouse with AD. - If I hadn't rushed, if my stupid pride (I don't need any help!) hadn't got in the way, and if I had stopped and thought about my responsibilities - my accident wouldn't have happened.
I am not after any sympathy, my cuts, bruises, bumps and aches are well deserved and will be a reminder to act responsibly and with more care.
I am hoping for a better night's sleep tonight, as last night I kept waking up and thinking of what would have happened (to my husband) if the outcome had been just a little bit less benign.
I am hoping for a few uneventful days.
Carmen
PS: Hubby is unaware of it all (which is probably why I needed to share it here).
Last Saturday, I lost a small, brown stud earring (Tiger Eye), which was a present from my husband over 30 years ago - it was found in a public place about 20 miles from where I live (the 'butterfly' turned up in the car) and returned to me today!
When I was chopping up cards for our daughter's wedding, I sliced into my thumb with the guillotine - but not enough to need stitches!
Yesterday, in a hurry to get back home and in an attempt not to inconvenience someone else (long story!), I had a nasty accident which left me battered and bruised - but not enough to stop me getting back and looking after my husband.
They say 'all good things come in three' ......
What's all this got to do with TP?
Well, earlier this week I read Brucie's comment about the crushing responsbility of looking after a spouse with AD. - If I hadn't rushed, if my stupid pride (I don't need any help!) hadn't got in the way, and if I had stopped and thought about my responsibilities - my accident wouldn't have happened.
I am not after any sympathy, my cuts, bruises, bumps and aches are well deserved and will be a reminder to act responsibly and with more care.
I am hoping for a better night's sleep tonight, as last night I kept waking up and thinking of what would have happened (to my husband) if the outcome had been just a little bit less benign.
I am hoping for a few uneventful days.
Carmen
PS: Hubby is unaware of it all (which is probably why I needed to share it here).
Dear Carmen, well at least you've had the three now then! Hope things now improve some what, love She. XX
Today I picked some rhubarb from the garden,decided to skin it cut it into pieces and stew it.
Peg offererd to prepare the rhubarb,she did skinned it cut it up.
Doesn't sound much but to me a wonderful achievment.
Rambling again
Norman
Peg offererd to prepare the rhubarb,she did skinned it cut it up.
Doesn't sound much but to me a wonderful achievment.
Rambling again
Norman
I tell you what, Norman: if Jan could do that, I'd jump over the moon!
Good news! Hope you had custard with it....... and enjoyed it
PS glad the frog or the fairies didn't nab the rhubarb before you got to it.
Good news! Hope you had custard with it....... and enjoyed it
PS glad the frog or the fairies didn't nab the rhubarb before you got to it.
NORM,why does your simple little post ,bring on the tears ,and then i read Bruces post ,and wish the same as him ,so tears again ,just this week after seeing JIM in the A/E I THOUGHT I HAD STOPPED CRYING ,BUT NOW on the assesment ward i am back in full flow. at least the tears for you was good tears ,must go and renew the tissuesANGELA
Dear Norm, how lovely, it took me back to the days when Mum would do just that, she loved to feel useful and it was often hard to find a job although I always did find something if she was in the mood.
Angela, thinking of you, big hugs, Love She. XX
Angela, thinking of you, big hugs, Love She. XX
After I Had My Last Baby We Were All Sat Down To Dinner One Day When I Ased My Little Girl If Her Friends Mum Had Had Her Baby Yet, My Little Girl Replied "yes" I Asked Her What They Had Called The New Baby. Looking Very Puzzled And Scratching Her Head She Said " Ooh Ooh I Know, Its The Same Name As Jesus Daddy" We All Spat Out Our Food And Said "god" (then The Surname) And Just Fell About Laughing,"no" She Said"his Other Daddy" She Meant Joseph.
highlight of my day Friday 15th April
Collected mum from the day centre and took her home. Got her into her favourite seat and sat on the floor infront of her. I gave her a hug and she put her arms around me and, patting my back said " that's my son ". I was thrilled, as being in the advanced stages of AD, words don't come easy!!!
Oh how the little thing means SO very much.
Geoff
Collected mum from the day centre and took her home. Got her into her favourite seat and sat on the floor infront of her. I gave her a hug and she put her arms around me and, patting my back said " that's my son ". I was thrilled, as being in the advanced stages of AD, words don't come easy!!!
Oh how the little thing means SO very much.
Geoff
