Wheee! Highlight of the day

[rummy]

Thanks A'ine and Bruce for the insight. It was a lovely place and I didn't see folks strapped to wheel chairs but the smell was bad and we didn't even tour the dimentia wing! The pad thing is something I will definitely ask about. And I will try to keep an open mind.
I think there is a web site with the nursing home ratings and I know you can ask to see their inspection reports.
Baby steps.
Debbie

PS. Bruce. tonight Dr Who premiers, woohoo!

 

[noelphobic]

Maybe to some extent it's inevitable that places smell sometimes ....... ? In UK there's this excellent website that gives run down on social care inspections ........

My very limited, but painfully found, experience is that places don't seem quite so bad on a second visit.

edited: maybe I should say what I mean by that: when the place and people are a little more familiar, I think it seems a little less daunting and a little more possible to make small changes for the better.

If you're referring to the CSCI website then I have to urge caution. I have read rave reviews on there for homes and have then been horrified when I visit them, disbelieving that I'm in the same place.

I would say that if the CSCI site says a place is awful, it's hell on earth, if it says its marvellous, then it might be OK!

The home my mum is in has been awarded 5* by some independent company. However, it's not a company that you seem to be able to get any information on, almost like publishing a book through a vanity press.

Don't get me wrong, my mum's home is as good as they get and deserves its 5 stars, however it's not perfect. Consider then what a 4 star home is like.

I have found very good websites where you can find reports on hotels or resorts written by members of the public who have actually been there. We need something similar for care/nursing homes. Written by residents, if they are able and/or their visitors. Only then would we get the true picture, warts and all.

This is a depressing post and I apologise. My complaint to CSCI against my mum's previous 'care' home has been dismissed and I am devastated.

 

[connie]

Having been through, and come out the other side, of a 'care home' that was anything but......I urge caution.

As for the CSCI reports, well that home Lionel was in came out very hightly rated.................yes, they were happy to put pads on anyone whether they were needed or not. Yes, they were happy for them to be medicated, likewise.

I know there are good homes out there, they are just few and far.

So we go on looking and hoping. (Have to get in right next time, cannot put my Lionel through that experience again...........one good point of dementia, HE DOES NOT REMEMBER) I do

Love to all, Connie

 

[Dave W]

A brilliant idea

Noelphobic - I'm sad that your experiences have been so dismal, and that you're feeling low. Please keep venting - as people soften say here, you are amongst those who won't judge you for doing so

But I must say your idea ("We need something similar for care/nursing homes. Written by residents, if they are able and/or their visitors. Only then would we get the true picture, warts and all.") strikes me as superb.

It has other precedents too, and in public sector 'service' provision: many university student unions publish 'alternative' prospectuses giving the students' eye view of the town, the university, the courses and the student experience. And doing it online would mean no printing, binding and distribution costs either - it might even be cheap to do. And may shame some homes (and I saw one or two utter horrors while I was looking for a home for my Mum - I would fully expect the RSCPA to have shut down them down on the spot, let alone the CSCI) into pulling their socks up.

Nor need this be just an AS related initiative: care home residents are there for a whole host of reasons, and a whole host of agencies might be encouraged to chip in support.

Worth a punt, anyone?

 

[noelphobic]

Dave,

You've cheered me up already by agreeing with me! Doesn't take much!

You quoting the RSPCA strikes a chord. After our recent experience I've often thought that I wouldn't leave a dog in the care of the home my mum was in. Also, I think if dogs were getting treated in that way then there would be more of an outcry.

Maybe my claim to fame will be writing the 'Good Care/Nursing Homes Guide'.

Eat your heart out, Egon Ronay (no pun intended!)

 

[Dave W]

Glad to raise smile

If I've raised a smile, Noelphobic, that I'm glad - and flattered. I do think it's a brilliant idea. Anything that puts the likes of you, me and everyone else on TP - and all those people yet to join it (this is after all, a situation that won't go away without a 'cure') - in better informed position and makes us feel like someone out there is acting in our interests is a brilliant idea. (That probably sounds horribly selfish, but if you don't support the carers, you don't support the sufferers.)

The experience may be different in each individual case, but the processes (diagnosis, assessment, hospital admission and discharge, residential placement and so on) are common, and we are so poorly briefed and supported through all this - great starting point that the AS factsheets are. And it would be a wonderful achievement.

Now do like me and go to bed to sleep on it - I've been working non-stop since 8.15, and I have to get up at 7 for a meting in London! I don't know about the wicked, but there's precious little rest for the good either, is there!

 

[noelphobic]

Sweet dreams, Dave. I hope you dream up an idea about how to put this all into practice. My mind's already working overtime!

 

[Áine]

Thanks for the warnings about CSCI reports. They seem better than nothing, and at least enabled me to decide to not even visit some of them. I love the idea of independent reports ...... what's stopping us?

 

[Norman]

Counsel and Care,advice and help for older people have " A brief Care home Guide"and a "Complete Care home Guide"
It includes details on how you will be assessed for the amount that you will have to pay for care in a care home.
Their web site is at WWW.COUNSELANDCARE.ORG.UK.
Hope this is helpful
Norman

 

[Lila13]

Yes, I am afraid that if my mother goes around telling other people she's incontinent they will put pads or incontinence pants on her when they aren't necessary, and then they will soon be necessary.

The only time she's really wet herself in 4 months was when someone took her out for an overlong walk in the cold weather without suggesting bathroom first.

Lila

 

[connie]

Offer of a cup of tea

Was so surprised and pleased when out of the blue this afternoon Lionel made a T sign at me with his fingers.

His attempt involved 4 mugs, one of which did finish up as a drinkable cup of coffee, which is all he drinks. We had three cartons of milk open, and a cup of something that looked and smelt like weedkiller.

But I was thrilled. First time in six months he has made any attempt.
(Tonight has gone haywire, but this afternoon was still a highlight for me)

I shall take it as a positive sign - I am the eternal optimist.
Love to all, Connie

 

[Amy]

That's brilliant Connie, the thought and love that was behind it.
Amy

 

[Lynne]

His attempt involved 4 mugs, one of which did finish up as a drinkable cup of coffee, which is all he drinks.
We had three cartons of milk open, and a cup of something that looked and smelt like weedkiller.

I shall take it as a positive sign - I am the eternal optimist.
Love to all, Connie

Oh Connie, what a lovely tale.

Dementia somehow re-writes sayings like "being thankful for small mercies", doesn't it! In your case you got a bucket full.

Hugs

 

[mocha]

Tea making

Thanks Connie for an uplifting story re the tea. One of the early signs I noticed with Ron [of something amiss] was when he offered to make me a cup of tea in bed one morning. After waiting about 30mins he brought me this concoction which I can only describe as a tepid milk shake in a glass. I have never taken more than a splash of milk and half a spoon of sugar. I didn't have the heart to complain because he had tried. Roll on the day when I get a second glass which I shall drink with relish.

 

[Norman]

Remember my recent post?
Wish I could get a cup of tea
Norman

 

[connie]

Norman darling, thinking of you.

No, I did not actually ever get my cup of tea, but was so thrilled that he wanted to make me one.

Ah well, so is life. Love Connie

 

[Norman]

Some friends brought Peg an Easter egg,she did not offer me any but she did share some Jelly Babies with me
Norman

 

[connie]

Hi Norman, hope you did not bite the heads off (the jelly babies that is).

Glad that you and Peg could share something - even if it wasn't the easter egg.

Love Connie

 

[Dave W]

Phew

Lovely visit last night - Mum really cheerful and pleased to see us (we'd tried to make it on Monday but David had hurt his back and couldn't drive, so she'd been worried *we* were alright, bless her). She'd loved her Easter Egg (went to town a bit) and shared it with her new friend Frida, and had been dancing with the staff last night to a CD of the charity band I play in. She actually uttered the magic words "It's nice here" at one point too. Floated home on a cloud of reverie to a plate of fish and chips and an early bed.

 

[dmc]

Hi dave

what a lovely post, i wish you many more of them im so pleased your mum's "happy" there it must be a big weight off your mind

best wishes