Wheee! Highlight of the day

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
[ Quote] In a way, I think that if I try too hard to remember our lives as they were, then that will divert me from the immense task of trying to live our new lives. [/Quote]

That hits the nail on the head Bruce. The only way I have been able to deal with mum's illness is to love her as she is, at the stage she is on her journey. That is what she did for me, and I know that it wasn't always easy. It is mum's journey though, and I have been privileged to share some of it with her, and hopefully me being alongside has helped her when she has been scared and confused and lonely.
Even though she is in advanced stages mum still came out for a meal with her children and grandchildren before Christmas (there were 12 of us!) Mum is very much still at the centre of our family. I love her to bits.
Amy
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Brucie, this "quote" business is something I still need to get my head around.
I admire all of you with your IT skills. Regards, Connie :confused:
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Connie, I'll never get the hang of it, and you've managed to post loads of things with yours so dont put yourself down. Love She. XX :)
 

soozieann

Registered User
Dec 7, 2005
20
66
Wallington
Amy,

I really appreciated what you said about your mum being on a journey, it makes this so much easier to bear- nothing stays the same and is always moving, so live in the moment.

I saw my mum yesterday, and we looked at some photos [it was a good day and she knew who everyone was]. She was smiling and laughing at my 14 year old son and his scowl.

Best wishes
Sooz
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Lynne,s jokes

I was lying on the floor in front of a fire, reading some of Lynne's jokes, and my 17 year old son came to join me. We had a good laugh together.
My boys have experienced a lot of the pain that AD can cause, and have loved and supported me and their grandparents; it was good to laugh together, and it was important that the jokes were posted on this site. I'm waffling, but I sort of felt that it was a good lesson in life for my son - I can't really explain what I'm thinking so I'll shut up! It felt good though.
Amy
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
790
Buckinghamshire
Brief glimpse ...

My husband always used to be good with words, excellent vocabulary, but now he often doesn't understand the most simple sentence. However, he left me rather speechless yesterday morning when I pulled the curtains back and said "Hello Darling, you are awake early, are you well rested?" - "Yes, but not ARRested" was his reply, with great emphasis on the ARR......
Where on earth did that come from, when he was barely awake ???
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hi Nutty Nan

when they try to remember things, it means they have to use their power of thinking, which has been messed up by the dementia.

However, when caught off guard, their ingrained thought processes just work, spookily.

Last week at Jan's home, one of the residents - who thinks I am a doctor, and who can't string meaningful sentences together [meaningful to us, that is], was asked "what is seven times six?". straight away she said "forty-two", we tried other combinations, including twelve times twelve, and she got every one correct, giving the answers immediately.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Ah yes, well my original post said that as the last para, but I removed it to avoid a Meldrew tag... ;)

Yesterday evening, Nina's grandson, aged 8, and his step great-grandfather, aged rather a lot more, were competing in doing calculations, one using a calculator, the other either doing mental arithmetic, or, for calculations veering into the millions, using paper.

Step great grandfather and brain or paper, won each time, sometimes pointing out that the answer given by the calculator was incomplete [for big numbers] or incorrect [because of hurried mistyping and not having a regime of being able to figure out the area in which the answer should fall].

Just progress, I guess.
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Ah Bruce, can just picture the scene. Calculator or pen and paper, sounds like 'pistols at dawn'
Lionel's expertise was always 'words', many an half hour spent pouring over the dictionary. He was always right. Connie
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Kitchen demolition

Dad came over today and helped rip out kitchen cupboards. So good to see him working with my husband and sons - he's now got some time and energy to be a dad and a grandad again. It felt so good; don't get me wrong, mum was not forgotten.
Amy
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Why did I add that last line, other than I feel guilty that we could only enjoy that freedom of time and lack of worry because mum is now being cared for in a Nursing Home?
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Dear Amy, please don't feel guilty. You can't help the fact that your Mum is ill and needs to be cared for in a nursing home. You have done nothing wrong, its the illness that is to blame. Whether we like it or not, life has to go on regardless. We cant just all sit in limbo on the fence because a loved one has dementia. You have a duty if you like, to your family, and, by golly, to your Mum, who would most likely be the first to say, "now you look after them all for me" now wouldn't she? Luvanhugs, She. XX
 

Katy44

Registered User
Sep 14, 2004
134
Lack of worry is definitely the way to put it - no longer feeling like you're living life waiting for the next crisis. That's how I feel now Grandma is in a home full time, and in actual fact I enjoy seeing her more, and so does my Mum & Grandad now they can spend 'pleasant' time with her (in and out of the home) rather than just trying to contain the latest crisis and then collapsing exhausted when it's over. It's less time, but of a much higher quality. Amy, hopefully it's the same for you?
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Our lives can't be that bad

Come on, someone must have had a highlight of the day in the last 10 days. Our lives can't be that bad! Come on, what's made you smile today?

Me? We've had a big mound of hardcore sitting in the drive for two weeks, unable to get the cars on, and tonight the boys and I got out the shovels and wheel barrows and moved it. Crackers, but it has made me feel good!

Amy
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Hiya, my highlight is that my little grand daughter can now roll over and has two teeth in the last ten days with a third almost through and she is beautiful and I have her again to look after next Monday! Love She. XX :)